Referral to child protection with very little ground... shocked, confused, indignant and sad. Has anyone else had the same???

[ShePersisted]

Our long time nursery (or someone on staff there) reported a welfare concern regarding our older girl to child protection. Their claimis that she was 1, wearing a long sleeved top on a hot day; 2, hadn't had her hair neatly done; and 3, after sticking her hands down her knickers was complaining that they then smelt of poo. They never spoke to us about it (after 3 years of our daughter attending the nursery) and we're now stuck waiting for the outcome of a police record search over the weekend before the matter can be put to rest. All these things aren't ideal but they don't strike me as welfare/ protection issues and I'm just FUMING. 

A few comments on the "incident": 1, the referral claims it happened on Wednesday the 14 of June; there's no such date in 2017 and my daughter doesn't go into nurseries on Wednesdays. 2, she is always sent with a change of clothes including a short sleeved top that they could have put her into if they were concerned. 3, I'm just not surprised at either a toddler sticking her hands down her knickers or that, after doing so her hands would smell. 

I feel so unjustly singled out for really very minor and cosmetic offenses. Has anyone else had this? I feel as though after such a long and good relationship with the setting they are doubting my ability and / or good will as a parent. Most of all, I'm shocked that they wouldn't come to me directly with this or at least in parallel with lodging the referral. If there were any concerns, a quiet and quick word would have totally done the trick (mortifying as it would be.) 

My girl is a September baby and so she has a whole year to go at the nursery before school. Weve been otherwise so happy there that my younger girl is about to start in September and was meant to do three years there, too. But, considering this breakdown of the trust relationship... well I'm just not at all sure if I can see doing that. 

A couple of other points to add: the date of the incident was parent teacher night so I am doubly surprised they wouldn't have mentioned anything then (to the contrary we got glowing reviews that our girl could write her name already, etc) and the week that followed we had a home visit with the nursery head in advance of our youngest starting; again, nothing mentioned. 

I don't know what to think and I'm driving myself a bit mad with worry about it... what do others think????

[Coloursthatweremyjoy]

I don't understand why any childcare professional would call the safeguarding board for advice on what you describe OP...even all together they are complete non issues.

I would also be unhappy that this could happen without the managers knowledge. Either their policies are inadequate or staff can operate autonomously...neither are good.

[frenchfancy17]

I would honestly rethink my child being there as I could not trust them. Why could they not approach you first hand? They seem to have gone from 0 to 100 very quickly with very little reason. There is a time for quick moving but the reasons that were stated were not. Glad you're OK - that must have been so worrying xx

[BastardGoDarkly]

They phoned cp for advise on those things alone though right? Nah, that would be enough for me. There's no way I'd keep my children there.

[AntiHop]

But why were even calling the local authority for advice about your daughter? It makes no sense.

[user1487175389]

I would definitely take her out straight away. Next time they do this you'll be 'in the system' & it's going to look like the second referral as the first won't simply disappear off your records because it was an error.

[user1487175389]

Inappropriate clothing would be something like a woolly sweater in 35 degree weather. My ds white often wears a thin, long sleeve t-shirt with shorts in hot weather. Keeps the sun off, and is acceptable in countries where they regularly experience extreme heat, for example in the middle east. Anyone who touches their bum after going to the loo will smell until they wash their hands. Some kids just have messy hair, whatever you do.

[bostonkremekrazy]

The fact they phoned for advice on your family would mean for me that they have concerns they wished to discuss with social services - and that the trust is therefore broken.
If they are saying they are phoning for advice on another matter - who gave social services your childs details, and your contact details for them to get in touch with you?
I'm afraid to say the nursery are not telling you the truth.

[ShePersisted]

Very good idea, thanks!

[JuicyNectarine]

Glad it went well, hope you got all that in writing just in case it happens again. If not you could do a "thanks for the meeting" summation email confirming exactly what was said and ask for a copy of their procedure review once complete. Be sure OP so the "no smoke without fire" school of thought can be dealt with if need be. Logic is not a given!

[ShePersisted]

Thanks everyone so much for your support on this! We had our meeting with the nursery head this morning and basically, this was all a big misunderstanding (they say). They had phoned LAD for advise but somehow this was unintentionally logged as a referral. They hadn't even realised that it had gone through to social services until we were in touch after the case had closed. They were very apologetic and said they would use the incident to rethink their safeguarding policies and procedures. I know many of you suggested pulling our daughter out straight away, and I completely get where you are coming from. We've decided to stay out for now bc the nursery is genuinely very good and has been good for our daughter. I'm satisfied that this was an error and that it won't be repeated. Thanks again to this community! What an excellent sounding board.

[PhilODox]

Surely a cool (e.g. linen or thin cotton) long-sleeved top is preferable on v sunny days to tons of sun cream on infant/toddler skin?
My DS always wears ls tops because he has reactions to almost every sun screen. DD wears ls because she hates as tops.

[JuicyNectarine]

I would give notice in writing on monday at that meeting and also write a separate formal notice of complaint which very neatly sums up exactly what happened so the incident can be completely laid to rest and not crop up in future. I would copy that complaint to ss. Take the tack that obviously safeguarding is essential but clearly staff require training and you would hate for social services to have their time wasted in future when there are real problems they could be dealing with. Bewildered not angry iyswim.

Long sleeves are recommended for sun protection.

Your dc cannot return to that nursery, they are batshit.

[blueskyinmarch]

I am a social worker and i too would be very perplexed if that referral landed on my desk. It is not even remotely in the realm of child protection and is nowhere near the threshold required for care and welfare concerns. Hopefully the nursery will be able to shed some light on their thinking but i rather suspect they will not.

[GreenTulips]

Try the aloe Vera sun cream from Amazon - great for eczema kids

[Redsippycup]

Well that's even more bizarre! Is the first the Head heard of it the contact from ss telling them it's baseless and they need to explain themselves?! I bet he/she is unimpressed!

[ShePersisted]

We have a meeting scheduled first thing on Monday morning with the Head (who knew nothing about this), the cp officer and one member of staff.

[Redsippycup]

OP have they spoken to you yet? If not I think I would be approaching them as a matter of urgency.

[Coloursthatweremyjoy]

OP, frankly I'd just move her.

I work in a nursery and honestly you would not believe how utterly dumb some people can be. Only last week I had to talk down a colleague who wanted to make a referral because a child had a bruise. The child had told her that she had collided with her little friend at home...the mother had confirmed this is what had happened...the little friend, also at the nursery said this is what had happened...it was bloody obvious to anyone with half a brain what had happened!

But I talked her down...if the safeguarding lead in your nursery can't do that then something is very very wrong.

Take it from me, one dumb person is irritating, a collection of dumb people can be downright dangerous. Obviously we need to protect children but engaging your brain first is usually helpful.

Once the trust is gone it's very difficult to get back.

[NotMyPenguin]

Great news, though not entirely unexpected since the concerns raised were so ridiculous! But I'm glad they could put your mind at rest relatively quickly. Any apology from the nursery?!

[insancerre]

The outcome I hoped for
I'm safeguarding lead in a nursery and I'm perplexed his anyone ever thought this was a referral
Our sunsafe policy actually states long sleeves are preferable in hot weather
I think you need to complain to the nursery in writing and demand an apology
And look for a decent nursery

[Wumpychoo]

Good news op.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

I would remove your child as soon as you can, they've been completely ridiculous. I'm not sure how you can trust them again.

[newdaylight]

As I suggested in my post on Saturday. Social services will be fuming with this kind of silliness wasting their time. Glad to hear it's sorted at their end. When you meet nursery you might as well point out that procedurally they should have spoken to you directly about the referral before making it as per the working together to safeguard children guidance.

[ShePersisted]

Heard back and the case is closed with social services really not understanding why this was ever referred to them in the first place. Our caseworker is telling the nursery they must reach out to us for a meeting and that they must explain their rationale. Relieved but still FUMING!