Underestimating separation

[rosiesramblings34]

Only 4 days into a 'living in a different house' separation, I totally underestimated the tremendous waves of emotional turmoil I would become subjected to. I'm almost a stone lighter from constant fretting and panic attacks from my new 'chosen' environment. The demanding living as a corporate wife with 5 relentless children and a husband who was barely there drove me to make the drastic decision to live a simpler life-for the art of conversation and appreciation to be normal not-'Wowzers!Did u speak to me then?! Watevs bro!' and to go back to basics on what attracted us to one another in the 1st place! He wants his 18 year old back but what Team Ball have created slayed her years ago under mountains of washing, dirty boots, relentless weekends of kids sleepovas-never returned-, music lessons, rubgy games, dinner parties, ladies lunches, cats, dogs, pinies needing feeding and 'MUUUUUUUM!!! Where are YOOOOOU!!!!' . All is suddenly very very different. And I don't like it. At all. I want my old life back but not the Monster Mum they created.