Counselling session.....not sure I can do it.

[Irishgene]

I've got a counselling session tomorrow, I've struggled for years with various issues in different forms of anxiety. I have never sought any help apart from beta blockers from my GP (which I don't take anymore) and I've just sort of got on with it, kind of. I've tried so hard to not let it control my life.

However, I had a miscarriage a few months ago and it seems to have broken me. I so desperately wanted a second child.

I really don't want to go to the counselling session, I don't want to sit there and talk about myself and no doubt just cry for an hour. I'm just not sure it's my thing, I'm not much of a talker/sharer with people. Thank god for Mumsnet :)

My DH referred me for the session, otherwise there's no way I would have arranged it. He's just worried about me rather than trying to force me to do it.

I suppose my question is has anyone had counselling after a miscarriage and did it help you? I'm sorry for asking such a personal question.

I've posted on here rather than the miscarriage/pregnancy loss forum as there isn't that much traffic on there.

[Lauraliverpool]

Hi, I've recently finished bereavement counseling and I'm really glad I went, I wasn't too sure at first but I think it really did help me, I've suffered 3 missed miscarriages and lost my dad in 2007 and my younger brother suddenly in 2014 and I thought I was dealing with it but in hindsight I wasn't I just buried those feelings because I had my little boy to look after. I found it good to get things off my chest I felt like I didn't want to say to my husband and mum, made me look at things differently, it can be emotionally draining but I think it's worthwhile. Xx

[Artemisduck]

Irishgene you are so brave for posting here about this and thank you!! I get where you're coming from and believe it or not, I'm a therapist and have felt the same way.... After my second miscarriage I thought I was doing ok and then felt a mess. DH got concerned cos I stopped talking about things but I thought I should be able to deal with it. I was so reluctant to go and talk about it all and felt embarrassed. But I found a Pregnancy Crisis Support Service in my local area who specialise in providing support to people who have baby loss and miscarriage and decided to try it and DH was relieved .. they were so lovely. It was reassuring to me that they were specialist support and not generic counselling. They really got it and it felt so good to just cry and grieve and then think about the future. All i can say is that it's worth a shot because it's such a heavy pain carrying this grief alone. Even if you don't feel like crying, anything you think or feel is valid. If you find a good person to talk to, they'll help you recognise that you're managing as best you can in your own way and that often it helps not to feel alone.

So my advice is to try it and see how you feel. You dont have to go back. It can't be as bad as you're already feeling, right?!

And if it's not for you, we're still here for you...

Sending love and complete understanding xxx

[Irishgene]

Thank you both for your comments @Lauraliverpool @Artemisduck . I chickened out in the day and phone to cancel the appointment in the morning. The therapist phoned me later that day and was lovely (I started crying the minute I started talking to her!) I've agreed to go in for a session as soon as a new appointment becomes available. Xxx

[Lauraliverpool]

@Irishgene its good that you are going to go for a session when it becomes available, really hope that it helps you. Sending you lots of hugs. Xx