Third miscarriage

[Greenglassteacup]

I think I'm starting my third miscarriage. Fucking stupid body failing me again

[Starshine1]

So sorry for your loss greenglass. I have had five miscarriages now and I can't offer any words of wisdom that magically take that pain away. My last miscarriage was in march and when I think of them all, I well up again insideand have a cry, but right now it is so raw for you. You need to grieve however is right for you. I have always had a bit of time off work and decorated- no idea why, but I just always have this urge to change something in my life I have control of.

I have been through local nhs tests as have a great consultant and have just come back from specialist Rmc - so have to wait for their tests- expecting them to say nothing is wrong though. Because of the wait for the specialist referral I did go privately to see someone that tests for nk cells and have been given treatment for this.

Look after yourself, sometimes I think it feels a very lonely place to be, but your not alone, lots of lovely ladies on here supporting you xx

[HaffyW]

I'm so sorry for your loss and sorry about your partner's reaction. I'm in the exact same situation. I recently had a second miscarriage and have felt like I had 0 support from my partner both times. He just ignores the situation and becomes so distant. But believe me, they are hurting too.
For most men, carrying on as though nothing has happened is their way of copying with the pain. They won't admit their feelings to you, they mask it with a facade of acting normal. It's so frustrating I know. You just want to scream at them for not getting it, but honestly he needs support just like you do. Have a heart to heart with him and ask him how he really feels. Tell him that you won't judge him and it's completely normal to be emotional.
You're eachothers rocks at this hard, hard time. I completely understand you right now, it hurts to feel like your partner, the person who helped create this baby, doesn't care. But just know that they do care, they just pretend they're strong so they can cope.

My partner actually admitted to me today that he cried alone about it (and he's not the type to cry about much). He said that he didn't want to tell me how he felt because he saw how damaged I was about the miscarriage, and didn't want to put anymore stress on me. This all shocked me so much, because I was beginning to think he didn't even care. But it just proved to me that men and women are wired so differently. I wish we weren't, but these difficult times really make you understand eachothers differences.

[Catinthecorner]

I'm so sorry the GP was cold and dismissive to you. Do attend the clinic. They are the specialists and will hopefully be kinder and more helpful.

[Waitingforsherlock]

So sorry for your loss. The doctors will look for evidence of anticardiolipin antibodies in your blood which can cause recurrent miscarriage. There is a condition called Hughes Syndrome which you may want to look at.

aps-support.org.uk/

[Happenedagain2017]

I'm so sorry Greenglass. Medical professionals can seem very heartless sometimes. It's horrible. I know it feels pointless now but please don't lose hope. Look after yourself and allow yourself to be sad and angry. xxx

[Greenglassteacup]

Was feeling marginally less depressed before I saw that horrible bitch of a GP actually

[Greenglassteacup]

Feeling quite depressed

[Greenglassteacup]

Stopped bleeding now. Pregnancy test is of course negative. Went to see the GP ( cold, dismissive). Got an appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic next month. Not sure if there is any point.

[Catinthecorner]

Do not go to the party. You are grieving a terrible loss. Be kind to yourself and don't go. Text that you are unwell and in a lot of pain (that bit is true) will be heading to the doctor asap (true)and won't be able to make it

[sureitsgrand]

Just to say I'm sorry

[sureitsgrand]

Just to say I'm sorry

[keeponrunning85]

You should be referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic after 3 miscarriages. You'll be seen by a doctor specialising in that area. They'll do a variety of bloods and probably scans. With my third and fourth miscarriage the pregnancy was also sent away for genetic testing.

And then depending on the results hopefully a plan for future pregnancies.

I don't know anyone who real life who has experienced the same, but I have some brilliant friends who have listened to me for hours, been a shoulder to cry on and kept me company when I needed it. Please reach out to people.

And if you don't want to go to the party don't go.

[Greenglassteacup]

I have an autoimmune disease, it's in remission.

[Greaterthanthesumoftheparts]

As far as I know they will check for auto immune diseases and do genetic testing. Will hopefully learn more next week, I'll keep you posted. I also have to go out for drinks with the girls tonight, DP has his stag do today.

[Greenglassteacup]

Got to get a shower and get ready for this party now, can't be bothered at all. Thank you all for your company and kind thoughts. I'm sorry that we all have this dreadful experience in common

[Greenglassteacup]

It's not that he's unkind, he's a good man but just very logical, rational

[Greenglassteacup]

What do I need to be checked for?

[Greaterthanthesumoftheparts]

Hi green, I had my third start yesterday so here's a hand to hold from my side. It's shit isn't it. I have an appointment with the doctor next Friday to talk about tests for habitual abortion (what a horrible term that is, makes it sound like you do it on purpose!). Unfortunately in Switzerland there is no NHS and we just used our last funded IUI. So going forward its going to get very expensive! And with no guarantee of success.

[Neverknowing]

Oh green how awful for you! It's very sad your partner isn't supportive, maybe he just doesn't understand. Do you have someone you can speak to in real life? I think you'll find its more common than you realise, a lot of women really will understand.
A woman at my baby group said she was upset because she had multiple miscarriages and thought no one understood but when she told her (pregnant) sister it turned out she was the same. You need some real life support, you don't have to pretend to be okay

[TheLastUNIC0RN]

So sorry for your losses. I'm in the midst of number 4 at the minute. Just what I will say if you are sure you are miscarrying please do get checked. My levels are not going down this time and they are monitoring me weekly - so it really is worth the trip to epu.
Apart from that please be kind to yourself and get some rest. Good luck xxxx

[Greenglassteacup]

Got to go to a family party this afternoon and pretend to have fun

[Spottyladybird]

Sorry for your losses.

Go to bed. I had two miscarriages. With the first I tried to carry on, with the second I thought 'fuck this' went to bed with biscuits, chocolate and films. Slept, cried, ate, cried some more. It helped a lot.

[Catinthecorner]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Your grief must be overwhelming right now. Would it help to talk? I may not say the right things in response but I will listen.

[Greenglassteacup]

He says " I don't know what you want me to do"

[Greenglassteacup]

No support either. Partner says "just got to get on with it, one of those things, blah blah". It's not happening in his body though is it so he seems to just carry on as normal