Hi,
I have posted on here before about DD17. I am just still confused about what is going on and wondered if anyone could add their perspective.
I should preface by saying I 100% support her and always tell her she’s awesome and looks great.
The past year has seen dramatic changes in her appearance- I discovered she was wearing a binder (a friend ordered it for her) and she only wears male clothing. She cut her hair short (although still dyed blonde it’s definitely a ‘flow’ cut so very male when she wears a baseball hat which is most of the time)
We found out from a brief discussion that she feels she is bi but honestly as she presents right now she isn’t going to be dating boys any time soon.
She seems a lot happier than a year ago but we are worried that she is putting on a front and maybe has trapped herself (not sure if that’s the right word?) into presenting this way because she is so confident and puts herself out there? Hard to explain.
She has lots of friends and a good social life but they are all straight girls who are now all mostly dating so she is often the third wheel at events and when pictures are taken she stands out a lot- I guess I’m worried that she isn’t truly happy and part of it all although she seems to be accepted by all so no bullying involved that I have ever heard of.
She has a year to go before she goes to Uni so I’m assuming she’ll carry on like this until she goes there and finds more of a ‘tribe’
There is a part of me also that is scared that once she turns 18 she’ll want to start to physically transition into male (which is how she presents right now- she often gets mistaken for a boy which doesn’t seem to bother her) We currently live outside the UK so heathcare is expensive and although she legally will be an adult she wouldn’t be able to afford to pay for treatment/surgery easily without our financial support. It may be an unpopular opinion here but I wouldn’t want her to start any physical permanent changes until she is well into her 20s and knows who she is more- I know at 18 I thought I knew everything but even 5 years later I was so different!
We have taken a ‘watchful waiting’ supportive approach so far. I guess my question is if anyone else experienced this?
As far as I’m concerned women can dress anyway they want and have short hair! But she is definitely going out of her way to present as male rather than just a tomboy if that makes sense- coupled with the binder it suggests she wants people to see her a male. But so far still uses a female name and pronouns (and with friends also)
Thoughts?
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LGBT children
Not sure what’s going on
6 replies
Barryallen · 05/06/2022 14:13
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