Talk to me about having 4 DC - I already feel overwhelmed with 3!

[NoCapes]

I've just found out I'm pregnant with a surprise DC4, my head is absolutely up my arse atm

I struggle with 3, I really do struggle
Number 4 was just not part of the plan - we'll need a new car, we will probably have to move, I won't be able to go back to work

Talk to me about life with 4, is it as hard as it is in my head?

[Zippidydoodah]

It's really lovely to hear the positive stories. Thanks! NoCapes- hope you're doing ok

[electricflyzapper]

Can only reiterate what others have said. 2 to 3 was really hard, the lowest point in my parenting life. 3 to 4 was no trouble at all. I actually had 5 brewing for a few weeks - number 4 had a twin which I lost. At the time, I wasn't bothered as I only wanted 4 children and I was just relieved to know number 4 was still in there, but now I sometimes wish number 5 had made it.

Anyway, yes you need a people carrier, but I don't know that a house move is immediately inevitable. Kids are happy to share rooms for many years. Mine are all grown up or teenagers now and still share rooms and beds on holiday without any complaint.

[Dozer]

Sorry your DP is saying he wants you to have a termination when you want to keep this baby. It's entirely your decision, not his. Will he continue to be good to you and all the DC?

You say DP rather than DH - if you're not married then giving up paid work would not be sensible as you would be financially/economically vulnerable.

[Diglet]

I'm sure it will be fine but an extra baby is an extra person (obviously). It's very noticeably when they kids are older teens. Food, shoes trips, holidays etc. We planned for no 4 and I loved having four but to say it's no different from 3 is a bit daft.

Just wait until all four have partners and are they all staying over your house....

[Afreshstartplease]

I'll be sure to update you in a couple of months anyway!

30+4 today

[Zippidydoodah]

Thank you fresh! 😊

[Afreshstartplease]

It will be fine

You will be fine

WE WILL ALL BE FINE

[Zippidydoodah]

So I just peed on another stick to confirm it. Two equally strong lines, and my period was only due around today!!

(Shit- does that mean it's twins??!! 😱)

My dp just said "what have we done?!"

God I'm scared! So so scared.

[Sofabitch]

I don't think it gets harder with an extra one. The 4th really does just slot in. I guess because you're so busy already.

The things I find hard.. booking hotel rooms very few family rooms cater for 4 children so you endup booking 2 which doubles the cost. But on the plus side clothes can be passed on so you save some money there.

Mine were 7,6, and 3 when I had dd.

[NoCapes]

I had the afternoon with just my oldest 2 today and found myself thinking 'why did we fuck with this? This is so easy!'
I just can't even fathom how much harder it's going to be with an extra one
Sofa we will have 4 under 7, and 2 under 2

[Sofabitch]

I found the transition to 4 super easy... admittedly I cried for almost a month when I found out. Shes almost 8 now and it's busy but I love it.

Gets much easier when they get a bit older. I was watching my friends sil with her 4 under 7s the other day and id forgotten how exhausting it can be!

Don't rule out going back to work.. you might be glad of a break.

[NoCapes]

Oh sorry I hadn't refreshed before I replied

[NoCapes]

Haha Zippidy I can't offer much reassurance there, I struggle with 3! 🙈
How old are yours?

[Afreshstartplease]

8, 7 and 3 so older than yours! I find managing the three okay on my own and am fairly big now at 30 weeks

[Zippidydoodah]

6, 4 and 2!! How old are yours? (Sorry if youve already said!!)

I am picturing the conversation when I tell my mum and dad.....dreading it!!

[Afreshstartplease]

How old are they zippidy?

[Zippidydoodah]

Just took all three out on my own- which is fine- but can't imagine doing it with a big bump, or a baby...agh! It will be ok, won't it?! 😂😱

[Zippidydoodah]

Nocapes- we sound very similar. I was feeling very positive yesterday but he came home from work miserable as sin.

for you

[Afreshstartplease]

People can be so rude when you announce a pregnancy. I certainly found this when we announced both DC3+4. I've had people actually ask me why, how rude.

I hope both of your dps are coming around to the idea of four. Mine has been speaking of how we will ensure there will be no number five. To be honest right now that suits me fine! I can't imagine putting my body through another pregnancy.

Try not to worry about what other people think as its not really any of their business. As long as you are able to provide a stable healthy life for another baby their is no reason to feel bad about having one! The only person who should get a say really is your dp, but then he kind of has his say anyway when he opts not to take any precautions himself!

Baby #4 is due in 67 days and I can't wait to get my body back!

[NoCapes]

I didn't realise people were still posting on here apologies!
Thankyou for the car recommendations

Zippidy congratulations
I've only told DP so far, he is not happy and adamant we've got to have an abortion
Too scared to tell anyone else as I suspect everyone will say the same
It's shit
for you
How are you feeling?

[Zippidydoodah]

Hi, no capes! Congratulations! How are you feeling now?

If you happen to have seen my thread, you'll know that I got a bfp today...number 4!! I told my dp tonight and he seems really bloody unhappy about it. How have your family reacted to the news?

[Imnotacelebgetmeouttahere]

^ yes to the Alhambra! We have one too and it's the best!

[Mothersruin75]

My surprise DS is 20 months old he is 16 months younger than DD2&3 (twins). I was in total shock when I found out I was pregnant and spent the whole time worrying how I would cope. DS is a dream, my most laid back child, he balances out the family brilliantly. DD1 is 5 and a half years older than him and it's brilliant she's got a buddy as DTs are very close. It's all been fine until the past few months and I've found these tough, however it's nothing to do with having 4 more the stage the twins are at. They have been moved into big beds so hell to get to stay in bed, they egg each other on and keep each other awake at night, waking up early as the sun is up outside the window (bloody groclock totally ignored), potty training taking forever, tantrums due to tiredness and clinginess. I keep repeating this too shall pass and practically run into work some days, it keeps me sane.
I love having 4, especially as we thought we'd only be able to have 1 so do feel blessed and think once we've got over this blip it will better! Oh we have a Seat Alhambra -love it and can get a double and single buggy in the boot even when all the seats are up.
Congratulations!

[mishmash1979]

My surprise 4th arrived 12m after my much much longer for 3rd. I was devastated when I found out I was pregnant again but have to say he is the light in all our lives and makes us laugh and enjoy every day; he absolutely completed our family. 6 years later I feel so very very blessed for our wonderful accident.

[Imnotacelebgetmeouttahere]

Ha I'm sure I'm a little mad ... Seriously though - it's so worth it when < once in a blue moon > they all get along