Hi, I am just following up to my previous post about an unplanned third (older two 7 and close to 4). I got some really lovely and encouraging replies, and I frequently read over them when I'm feeling really down, so thank you if you responded to my other thread.
I'm 30 weeks now and still feeling very low and depressed. My biggest worry is about long term resentment of this child. I am so worried that I will look at him as a burden, will hate going through the motions of caring for a baby/toddler again, and will constantly think about how much easier and calmer everything would have been with just the older two. If you have had an unplanned baby, especially with larger age gaps, has this been a problem for you? I know that you grow to love the child and can't exactly say you regret them, but I'm so afraid I'll always regret the disruption of our life plans and family makeup. Does that make sense? I'm trying so hard to find the joy in this, but I am a worrier by nature and this antenatal depression has basically killed my spirit over the last 7+ months. I just feel so uncomfortable in my own skin and still having trouble accepting my situation.
I guess I'm just looking for some hope, and trying to believe that I'll feel joy again, and that I won't always feel like things are just not right. I worry so much about balancing the diverse needs of all my children in their different ages and stages. I feel no child should have to grow up feeling resented, and that is my biggest fear. Any words of wisdom? If you initially felt resentful of an unplanned pregnancy, did your feelings change, and were you eventually able to accept, and even find joy in your new family dynamic? I wish I could stop the negative thinking and anxiety. Just need some support.
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Unplanned pregnancies and resentment
3 replies
Lou280 · 22/09/2015 22:13
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