Failed IVF #1. What next?

[FingersXssd83]

So we've just had a failed first cycle. No frosties. I'm 35 and had 10 eggs collected, 5 mature, 3 fertilised, 2 made it to day 5, 1 early blast transferred, the other taken to day 6 but the outer edge has an issue so it wasn't good enough to freeze.

We luckily have 2 more goes on the NHS so I'm cracking on with that. Can't get a review meeting with our consultant until 18 Dec so I'm going to see if I can get a call booked and also call the embryologist to discuss our results.

Generally, the more info I have and a proactive plan then the better I feel. DH doesn't want to talk about the next cycle. We've recently found out that his Dad has a really rare and aggressive cancer and his prognosis isn't good.

Starting to feel some resentment towards my DH as he's made us wait so long to try for a baby. I'm 35 now and wanted to start from being 30. Just feels like life's permanently on hold and all we do is work work work.

Has anyone else recently gone through a failed cycle. What happened on yours and what are you planning to do next?

As we're not discussing IVF with family and friends, I've found MN really supportive and I hope this thread might help me and others in a similar position.

xxx

[Booksandbaths1]

Hi @FingersXssd83 I am in the same situation - it sucks doesn't it? I'm 34 and have just completed a cycle of IVF. Didn't even get close to test day as my period arrived 8 days after transfer. It is devastating. Weirdly we expected our cycle to not go well due to my crappy amh/fsh and dhs dodgy sperm but had 11 eggs retrieved, all fertilised and 6 good quality 5-6 day embryos. So when our luck ran out after they transfered the 'best' one the shock was almost harder to deal with. I think it just shows that the cycle can go 'well' and it can still be bfn. I guess as the stats show - at the end of the day it is luck and science. Although I'm struggling to feel like I've not done something wrong seeing as prior to transfer all was going well. Hugs x

[FingersXssd83]

Thanks for everyone's messages, I've taken a lot of comfort from them.

I've started taking CoQ10 and I'm going to call a fertility acupuncturist today to book a taster session. I've been eating well including Brazil nuts daily. Gave up caffeine ages ago now, going to start playing badminton weekly and also re-start yoga. I'm a pescatarian so going to start eating chicken once a week to try and help my protein levels.

I want to give myself the best chance possible for the next round.

I've been on the Aberdeen IVF calculator and a few others (!) and it says that my next chance should be 60-70% and hopefully a little more if my protocol is tweaked.

My DH is very worried about his dad as we all are. Don't want to make what could be the last bit of time he gets to spend with him even more miserable so going to try and pull myself together and be grateful for what we have.

For those of who who have been on this horrible journey, how many cycles have you completed and how did things work out for you?

I'm trying to mentally prepare myself that this process could take years not months.

Wishing everyone a good day!

Xxx

[ckc45d10]

As the previous poster mentioned, yes, you may want to look into various diet and lifestyle changes. This research article goes over a nice overview: fertilityresearchandpractice.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40738-015-0003-4
However, if you are not sure where to start, you may consider working with a specialist or even a Registered Dietitian that specializes in fertility to help you fine to your diet and supplements. Have you also considered CoQ10/ubiquinol?

[hoping2018]

Sorry @FingersXssd83 I don't have time to write. Steeply full reply but I just wanted to say that even if cycle 1 fails they learn a lot from it and cycle 2 has a higher rate of success. I felt awful after cycle 1- it went abysmally. Currently pregnant afte 2 though - there's a reason NICE guidelines recommends three cycles. Good luck

[StillLikeAirIRise]

Hi fingers, i felt the same way. My first transfer failed in September and I was completely numb, absolutely gutted as in my heart of hearts I wanted us to be the 30% that get a baby first time as much as everyone does but someone has to be in the larger proportion of failed cycles I guess.

Planning my next steps gave me something to focus on and meant that I didn't wallow in pity for myself. I booked a holiday for May to incorporate what would have been my due date and bought £150 of supplements from Zita West on the day of the BFN. I'm back having another cycle now and have acupuncture and listen to the mindful IVF app as I find them both relaxing and help me to feel like I'm doing all I can to make this work.

I agree with physics around talking to your husband if you can. He could feel isolated in his grief for his father, and you're isolated in your grief for the family you want. Either of these events would be a strain on a relationship and you've got them both at the same time. Take care of each other

[physicskate]

And remember - less than a third of cycles result in pregnancy. This is not a failure on your part.

I would be doing more research on complimentary therapies (I highly recommend acupuncture) and supplements you might want to try. It's starts with the egg is a good read.

I too started to resent my dh - he'd 'made us wait' two years to start after I was ready. But like your dh, mine didn't have a crystal ball and thought that stopping contraception would result in pregnancy - despite my protests that it wasn't always that simple! Hindsight is marvellous, but don't focus on it. It doesn't help you now!! Talk to him about your feelings. It might help him to hear, or it might not. But don't let your feelings stay hidden.

[Thiswayorthatway]

Oh OP it's hard. My DC2 is a frostie, no. 4 from one fresh cycle. Speak to your doctor and see whether s/he has any views on tbe failure. Ask lots of questions, discuss whether your drugs need to be tweaked. I switched from progesterone pessaries to injections which worked for me as I had issues with thickness of womb lining. My treatment was private, not sure if you have to pay for anything on the NHS, but 4 years ago Asda pharmacy were by far the cheapest for my IVF drugs. I also ate a lot of pineapple core and brazil nuts, for extra selenium I think. Good luck