BBC 4 documentary baby makers

[lozster]

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01ps8yc

Thought this might be of interest to folks on here. I'm a nervous 10 + 3 after (much) treatment at the Hewitt so am debating whether to watch or not! All a bit raw still...

[highlove]

Oh and my clinic doesn't do collection under GA either - thought that was a bit odd.

[highlove]

I'm two years in, one m/c and now a failed IVF. Must say I thought his description was spot on - I have a responsible job and I don't talk about it much with friends and family. But I think about it before I'm out of bed in the morning and it's one of the last things I think about at night. And quite a lot during meetings during the day too. And it's just always there, as evilgiraffe says, bubbling under the surface. It's changed who I am, TBH - I'm not the relaxed and confident person I was a few years ago.

Did think it was much better than the BBC NI series, also I think babymakers. DH and I thought that felt like it was explaining IVF to five year olds! But agree, the guy behind the camera asking questions was a bit of a twat and asked some pretty ridiculous questions.

[GinAndSlimlinePlease]

Thanks lozster for your perspective. I'm at the other end of the process (2 years ttc, lots of tests, no clear diagnosis (other than earlier dx of endometriosis and hormone results not good, and no treatment yet). I can see how you would be disenchanted by the third round.

I'm glad to hear egg retrieval normally carried out without general, I didn't like the sound of general...

I do think the head honcho described accurately how it feels for me. But I can understand how it differs for some. I have to say, I do get overwhelmed from time to time. But no need for work colleagues and thee like to know!

[maamalady]

Oh, is it a series, loz? I'll look out for more if so.

None of the couples the programme spent any time on got a baby. The one that we saw doing the alcohol questionnaire did get a baby - I reckon the producers only shoved them in so they had a success story!

I reckon he was right about how it feels, though. It IS what I think about most of the time, there IS acute jealousy of friends with families, and there IS a roller coaster of hope and disappointment every month. Some people are better at hiding it than others, but I think the feelings he described were on the whole accurate. It's rare I have a good cry let myself indulge them, but they are still there nevertheless, bubbling away under the surface.

[lozster]

I wasn't sure that the prof did women any favours in his account of what it is like to have fertility problems. I think his dramatics made women seem irrational, obsessive and out of control. I've had 5 years of this and 13 treatments of various types. I've still managed to hold down a responsible job without telling work or family about any of this. There's a great deal more subtlety to how infertility effects your life.

[lozster]

I don't know - I post and I'm Billy no mates then I come back and I have pals!

I have only watched the first ten minutes to spot all the staff I came in to contact with and the first error - retrieval is generally done under sedation not general. Needless to say, I never saw head honcho (which I am probably glad about as he has an unfortunate manner as depicted on tv!). In 3 retrievals I had one consultant do it at my satellite hospital (oh had to drive an incubator to Liverpool with the eggs in). At Liverpool I had a very lovely registrar second (private) time round then a sister for the third (nhs) and final retrieval. I suspect prof only pops up for a tv camera. The Hewitt is in reality a very efficient, pleasant production line but it is a production line. I suspect it offers good value for money to the nhs.

I'm guessing it was a no for the first time couple? No way would I have volunteered for this. First time round you don't know what you are getting yourself in to. On my final round I seemed to be trailed at every appointment by an eager couple. Whilst I trudged wearily in on my own they were holding hands grinning and twirling their injectables bag around by the handle. I swung between a completely irrational irritation at them and wanting to take them to one side and give them the low down (marathon not a sprint, war not a battle). Hopefully they got lucky first time and are recalling the sour old trout scowling in the waiting room!

Not sure if I will watch any more - it's tough going.

[GinAndSlimlinePlease]

how awful evil! How random

it was a good show, it made me want that doctor for my treatment. He was certainly better than at the last hospital I was seen at, where after months waiting between appointments, the doctor just shrugged, told me the results were all over the place and I needed x, y, z tests with no explanation! Thankfully, I've moved to a better clinic!

[maamalady]

Absolutely, gin, it was weird how accurate that was! It is completely all-consuming, even when you're trying to ignore it. Mind you, it's not all in the mind - check out my photos for a particularly ironic/heartbreaking/grimly hilarious sight that greeted me in tesco a few months ago...

[GinAndSlimlinePlease]

drink not stink! Duh.

[GinAndSlimlinePlease]

I watched it last night and sobbed throughout! I'm two years into ttc and results so far are not good, so we're getting ourselves ready for being told we need ivf.

It was a really good programme at showing us what it'll involve. It demystified it a lot, but also showed just how much of a miracle it all is.

But I felt devastated for the couples that weren't successful :(

I did think the doctor had it right about how much infertile women think about it. Certainly, that's exactly what I'm like, do it was really reassuring to hear the doctor saying that. And for my dh to hear it like that too.

I did laugh at the appointment of the couple that weren't successful, they behaved just like me and dh with the stink questions.

[blondebaby111]

I watched this and I must admit I shed a tear or two. We found out our first ivf had failed just before xmas so its still a bit raw to me but I enjoyed the programme. I love seeing what goes on behind the scenes and in the labs. When I was going thru I found the whole process fascinating and really when u think how much work that sperm has to do to get to the egg its a miracle anyone gets pregnant at all. Felt so sorry for the couples that it didn't work on tho but I must admit I'm glad they showed that as well and not just the success stories as it makes u realise your not the only one to fail and lots of couples have to keep trying.

[Marrick]

Was glued to this ? it was very sad though. We have just been referred to a consultant after TTC for a couple of years. Had basic tests and we are unexplained so far. It seemed like a snapshot into what our life may turn out like in the next couple of years ? made it all seem a bit more real somehow.

[maamalady]

DH and I watched the BBC4 programme the other night. All rather fascinating, if bleak. Though the average chance of a baby from IVF at our local clinic is 40% for our age group (I think), so DH says you're not allowed to feel cheated until you've had a BFN on the third cycle. This stoic outlook will hopefully serve us well. It was painful watching those couples' hearts breaking though And although the clinic doctor man seemed a bit of a knob, he did seem to understand the emotional rollercoaster, much better than the presenter guy did. I thought he asked several rather stupid/insensitive questions. Like when one woman was sobbing after a BFN, he said to her husband "you're quite good at comforting her aren't you" - DH's response would have been a withering look and a "no shit, Sherlock" so we were impressed with the husband's much more civilised response...

[getagoldtoof]

How did you find it? I was sobbing like a beast by the end.

[lozster]

Sorry, not sure that link works at all from phone. The programme is 'baby makers' bbc 4, Monday 7th Jan 9.00pm. It's about the Hewitt centre at Liverpool Women's Hospital.