The advice parents are given about screen time is out of date and conflicting. Two messages dominate. The first warns of the dangers that come from screens: obesity, paedophilia, bullying. The second is driven by marketing. The onslaught of new games, toys and apps makes parents fear that their children will be left behind or left out if they fail to buy the latest gadgets.
Parents are made to feel that they must invest in technology to help their children learn and make friends, yet they are also being told that using this technology puts their children at risk.
As part of our research for the LSE's Parenting for a Digital Future project, we interviewed over 65 families. Time and again, parents described themselves as 'lazy' for letting their children have access to screens, and many are concerned about their use of media. But it's time we changed the conversation about children and technology. An afternoon on the tablet may be spent doing schoolwork, playing, relaxing, creating, or talking with friends and family. We need to move away from the idea that time spent looking at a screen is necessarily time wasted.
This month we released a policy brief about 'screen time'. We argued that rather than worrying about 'time' parents should focus on the context of screen use (where, how and why) the content (what they are watching, playing, reading) and connections (who they are relating to).
At the moment, advice for parents overwhelmingly focuses on risk. Only a very small proportion of advice presents parents with a positive vision of how digital media can benefit children and families. Media lets children connect with friends, learn, create, and develop skills valuable in education and the workplace. But when parents restrict online behaviour because they are trying to avoid risk, children are likely to miss out on online opportunities.
There are, of course, downsides to time spent online, but it is only through exposure to some degree of risk that we learn coping strategies, and build up resilience. Risks and opportunities for both parents and children go hand in hand. The more children use the internet, the more digital skills they gain and the more they can benefit from what’s available online - but the more risks they encounter. In short, the more, the more.
Despite the many opportunities presented by the digital world, most of the ‘screen time’ advice for parents tells them they should restrict and monitor children’s media use. Yet the evidence shows that technical filters, time limits and spying on your kids (without also talking openly) neither keep kids safe nor helps parents and children connect and learn together. We need to move beyond the idea of parent solely as teacher and protector – often, we can learn as much from our children as they can from us.
Rather than assuming that all of children’s media use is invariably problematic, it’s time to consider that what we and our children want from technology is not so different: a place to experiment, create, learn, work, share, play or veg out. Rather than panicking, ask yourself whether using digital media helps or prevents your child from:
- Eating and sleeping enough
- Being physically healthy
- Connecting socially with friends and family
- Engaging in school
- Enjoying and pursuing hobbies and interests
If you find that digital media are a problem in one area, focus on that, but don’t feel that you need to police everything equally. Parents need to connect between their own digital practices and those of their children, and policy-makers need to better support parents to help their children access the opportunities – not just avoid the risks – of the digital age.
If you’re interested in more balanced resources about screen time check out Common Sense Media and Parent Zone – along with lots more listed on the Parenting for a Digital Future blog.
Everyone knows there is good and bad points about kids going online. It not conflicting advice that parents are getting it's just advice.......