Work stress and ready to resign

[Cocofelix]

I went back to work after 9 months of maternity leave and already feel like I'm on the brink of a breakdown. I hate my job, my team all dislike each other and our manager is ridiculously controlling to the point where she will question if you leave your desk for longer than 5 minutes. I feel really tearful, anxious and dread Monday mornings. I thought I was going to faint today due to the level of stress I'm under. I feel so weak and wish I was stronger. I'm a single parent and can't afford to pay back the maternity pay I received so resigning is not an option for me. I feel so lost. What would you do? My mind feels so blank. 😢

[muppamup]

I would get signed off for stress by your doctor. I'm a single parent and it's not worth the burn out especially while baby is so small. You can get universal credit if you need to.

[LetitiaLeghorn]

Just hang fire. You've been out of working for a year, you've had a complete life transformation, you've got extra responsibilities and you're doing it all on your own. It takes time and adjustment to get back into the groove. So give it a few weeks before you make a huge life change decision. Do the minimum expected and ease your way in.

[Cocofelix]

@muppamup and @LetitiaLeghorn thank you for responding. I've only been back for a few weeks but feel certain this isn't the job for me. To be honest the money just isn't worth it as the panic attacks are killing me. Can I just ask my GP to sign me off ? I'm worried this will affect my future employment yet have no other choice.

[sjxoxo]

You can definitely jusy go to your gp and explain how stressed you are and you aren’t coping. Tell them about panic attacks and what’s happening at work etc and the pressure you feel from not being able to walk away without being penalised. Get some time off sick I think you need it and use it to look for something better. I’m sure you’ll look back and think ‘phew glad that’s over!’ When you’re in new job and life’s moved on. Good Iuck xxxx

[muppamup]

@Cocofelix please be kind to yourself and have faith that things will work out ok. they will work out a lot worse if you stay where you are. your current MH is much more important than a hypothetical future. You'll get another job. You could even start your own business from home!

[Threetulips]

Having time off for strew could be for many reasons, death of a loved one, difficult home life, and yes work!

Nobody will question your reasons as they aren’t allowed to. DD is 19 and currently off work sick for stress, the difference in her is amazing.

Take some time off, regroup and think about your options, there are other jobs out there, but you have to be in the right mind to find one.

[Cocofelix]

Thank you all for your kind support. I'm now signed off with stress but getting even more stressed as manager is asking what's wrong, what's caused this, what can they do to support me. I know work doesn't care but it's almost like a tick box exercise. Apparently my manager will call me twice a week to check how I am. Really, is that normal? Can I refuse to speak to her on the phone? I know it's daft but I really want to be honest and say I hate my job but only went back so I don't pay back mat pay.

@muppamup I dream of one day becoming my own boss and working from home. I hope I can get my confidence back and do something I'm passionate about.

[puppetcat]

@Cocofelix I'm glad you signed off sick. I think you need to get professional advice over if you need to speak to your manager or not. I would say if you;re stressed about work then speaking to your manager twice a week would make it worse. Could you join and speak to a union? there are some good boards on here which might give better work legal advice (can't recall what they are offhand) where HR and lawyer types should be able to advise.

I would also be asking for a meeting with your HR manager if you have one and are able to cope with it. The issues with your line manager sound intolerable and going above their head might help. However maybe it needs to wait until you're feeling better.

If you're feeling down, have a little think about your business you might start. Jot down a few ideas and try to choose one or two you fancy the sound of. Write down a couple of first steps into finding out more about the job or setting up the business. Could be anything as simple as learning how to create an invoice or making a loose business plan. This will give you the motivation to move! Do 1 thing each day towards your plan even if it is the tiniest thing imaginable. Any movement is positive and will start momentum and refocus you on what is important and positive. (And I should add when you've got a tiny baby sometimes 1 min a day is all you can do, don't put pressure on yourself if you can't!).

Hope you feel better soon.

[ohCARP]

When I was signed off it was policy for everyone to leave me alone and not "check in" on me, even my friends. My boss did contact me occasionally but not weekly and definitely not twice a week. Could you speak to your GP and ask if they can stipulate that you need space to recover?