Hi everyone, I’ve joined mumsnet especially for the issue I’m looking to get advice for… would really appreciate your honest opinions!
I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, married for 7. At the start of the year, he said he wanted to split and has moved into his own flat. He is adamant he is happier than he has ever been, and has no intention of returning. He has also started seeing someone from work (!!!!) so there really isn’t any going back for us relationship wise.
We have a 4 year old DD. Before we split, we spoke about trying for another baby in the new year. And then all this happened. I’m desperate for my DD to have a sibling - I don’t want her to be an only child.
I’m 40 very soon, and feel like time has completely run out for me to meet someone and have another baby. That would all take years, which I don’t have.
My question is - and I really would love to hear from anyone who has been through this exact scenario - would you approach your ex to have another baby? I would do IUI / IVF, and seek advice about all the legal aspects of it e.g. child support, access etc. Has it worked for anyone? Or not?
I’ve read a few similar threads about this, and the majority of responses have been it’s a bad idea… but I honestly don’t feel like it is? My DD would have a full sibling, and I can’t fault my ex as a father.
Has anyone had a baby with an ex? Really want to hear good and bad stories to balance things!
Thanks so much xx
On the Mumsnet Donor Conception forum, you can discuss sperm and egg donation with people in the same situation.
Donor conception
Baby with an ex? Can it work?
xorachelxo · 29/06/2022 13:11
avocado2019 · 28/07/2022 14:18
Hi @xorachelxo i see majority of comments are 'it's a bad idea'. but I don't see why you shouldn't persuit what you really want for life with all your resources. It's a private matter wanting to have one more child or not and only you should be making that decision, based on the well-being of yourself and your DD. I understand the urgency of being late 30s or turning 40s and wanting to have child when partner is not within sight. and I think your thoughts are reasonable. Maybe you could ask your ex if he wants to do it with you or not. Once you get that you'll be more clear about your choice? Just to add that fertility declines exponentially around 40 even with IVF. if you do want to have another child no matter what you need to act real fast.
Ohthatsexciting · 29/06/2022 17:44
I suspect it will be a an absolute and complete shit show and your children will be right in the middle of it.
in a word. Don’t
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.