What am I supposed to do now?

[thisisscary]

I'm a newly single mum, DC with SEN so I can only work part time. How do I keep us going on my own?

I've cancelled non-essentials and reduced bills wherever I can but I'm still hundreds of pounds short this month and realisticaly every month for the next few months as am waiting for UC and hopefully DLA to be agreed. In the meantime we are cold, sitting in the half-dark until we absolutely have to put the lights on, eating the cheapest cheap food I can find including out of date giveaways on neighbourhood freegle type groups. The benefits office gave me a loan but it didn't even cover the mortgage. Can't get food banks without UC and am still waiting to hear about that.

The energy company agreed to reduce my monthly DD for gas/elec but have messed up and nearly tripled it instead, despite me having confirmation from them of the new amount, of course I can't get through to them now with everyone trying to contact them about price rises. Have asked for a reduction on council tax but it's taking them ages to sort it out. Long term I can try to get better paid work but that won't happen overnight. I've just been to the bathroom to have a little cry where DC can't see me.

What am I supposed to do? Please throw all your ideas at me in case there's something I've not thought of.

[Beercrispsandnuts]

Is the father paying maintenance, who is the name on the mortgage?

[thisisscary]

Father pays nothing, sudenly has no job, no money and about to go to prison anyway. Both on mortgage so I can't sell and downsize, that will take ages anyway. I think I can get better paid work long term if I retrain a bit but the short term is looking impossible.

[TwoBlueFish]

Do you have a spare room? The rent a room scheme allows you to earn up to £7,500 a year tax free www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/the-rent-a-room-scheme

[Fluffymule]

Could you cancel your energy DD with the bank to stop them taking out more than you can afford? Just until they get it sorted out properly when you can set it up again.

[TwoBlueFish]

Could you ask your mortgage provider for a short payment holiday just while benefits are being sorted?

[thisisscary]

No spare room. The energy DD just went out which is how I know they have messed it up but yes good idea so they can't do the same again next month, will do that thank you.

[MrsMoastyToasty]

25% discount on council tax for being a sole adult.
Mortgage holiday (obviously you'll still have to pay the shortfall at some point), or refinance your mortgage.
Have you got any loyalty points for places like Boots/Tesco etc.

[MrsMoastyToasty]

Do you have a driveway you can rent out?

[BarryKentPoet]

Trussel Trust foodbanks definitely give out foodbank parcels to people not claiming or waiting to hear about UC claims.

[thisisscary]

Mortgage provider said they don't offer payment holidays anymore they said I could move the payment date to a different day of the month but that would put this month's payment up because there would be extra interest accruing, so no use. The mortgage is a good rate and pretty low in the big scheme of things. I couldn't house us in rented for that amount.

[BarryKentPoet]

Though UC will not pay towards your mortgage, they only help with rent costs.

[thisisscary]

Yep applied for council tax discount. No driveway sadly. Am limited to what I can do with the mortgage without my ex agreeing and he won't.

Loyalty points - genius!! I'm sure I must have loads will dig out all my cards and see what I've got. Thank you!

Trussel Trust I've not heard of will look into that thank you so much.

[TeeBee]

That sounds a really hard position to be in OP, I'm so sorry.

Have you tried the Too Good to Go app? You get to pick up bags of food from various shops at the end of each day for a few pounds. I suggested it to my son's girlfriend, who is at university, and she gets the bulk of her food from this now.

[MrsMoastyToasty]

Go to your bank and make a claim under the direct debit guarantee against the energy provider.

[thisisscary]

Yes I've tried too good to go but I seemed to get enough salad to feed 20 people all expiring that day. Nothing I could freeze or cook and freeze, or even eat the next day. I'm not fussy about use by dates but bagged salad goes soggy fast!

I know I can do this and in a year I'll look back and have come out of it. I just don't know how to come out of it at the moment.

[MrsMoastyToasty]

Look and see what your water company dies to help people on benefits and/or have disabilities.

[MrsMoastyToasty]

Does, not dies.

[Ted27]

@thisisscary


do you know about Gingerbread? Its a charity for single parents, it has information about emergency finance, including how to find local welfare charities.
I think they also have a legal helpline, might be worth a call to see if there is anything about you and exs right about the house if he is in prison

[TokyoSushi]

Surely there must be some more help from a foodbank type of place? How old is your DC? Can the health visitor/school help? Sometimes local churches help with this sort of thing too. Could you go to citizens advice to see if they can offer any assistance? I'm so sorry that you're in this position.

[TokyoSushi]

[quote Ted27]@thisisscary

do you know about Gingerbread? Its a charity for single parents, it has information about emergency finance, including how to find local welfare charities.
I think they also have a legal helpline, might be worth a call to see if there is anything about you and exs right about the house if he is in prison[/quote]
This sounds like it could be helpful too!

[Redfloweryellowflower]

Look at money saving expert website lots of helpful bits on there for both budgeting and increasing income.

I'm sure you have already but go through you standing orders and direct debits and cancel anything not completely necessary.

Get the olio app as well. Same idea of passing on unwanted food (and other things).

Is there anything you can sell on ebay/gumtree/marketplace? Every little bit will help.

[NottheSAHP]

If the DD just went from your account today, you can call the bank and have them recall the money on the grounds it was a different amount to what was agreed.

[2bazookas]

There are free food and other provisions here in Scotland that can be used by anyone; no questions asked and no qualifiers. There are at least two within walking distance of my house.

Also a free lunchclub serving hot meals . A free, heated public library with comfy chairs, toys and crayons for kids. A major charity which will furnish and equip a whole home with recycled good secondhand goods. no charge. In summer there will be free fresh veg for the picking (by anyone) , in multiple community gardens (some of them tiny).

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Could you switch to Interest Only on your mortgage just for a set period?

It's shit that UC will pay towards someone else's mortgage (eg the private rental on a property their claimant lives in) but not assist with at least the interest on the claimants own home as obviously much more cost effective.

What are the implications of changing your mortgage dd to exactly half with the reference "names share" and letting the other half default as your Exes unpaid amount?

Are you married? Will there be any financial gains from the divorce?

[thisisscary]

Never heard of gingerbread (apart from the tasty sort) I'll look thank you.

The trussel trust I just checked and they pointed me to the local foodbank, which I need a voucher for, which I need UC to get. Round and round in circles. DC primary age, school are supportive but refer back to social worker, social worker says to ask benefits office, benefits office says wait. Juggling DC's SEN, working (school hols now, wfh and looking after DC) and trying to deal with no money plus a recent very messy breakup is really hard