School is making me (even more) skint

[LollipopsandWine]

Bit of a rant really. We are by no means a household with any form of disposable income. Just me, DD and my partner. Lately our budget has gotten much tighter - we are now struggling for rent - and every time I try to crunch the numbers I notice that school is basically bankrupting me.

My DD has packed lunches, after having her on free meals for a year. She ate nothing on offer, and would only eat a cheese sandwich. My DD eats well at home, so I spoke to the school. They said they "couldn't spend time helping her get her lunch every day". Turned out she was just really nervous about going up and asking for a lunch, so she didn't. Obviously couldn't let that go on, and with no help from school she now has packed lunch. Expensive.

Then there's a plethora of trips, which I am grateful for but more than 2 days notice would be lovely when it comes to paying for them.
Then there's the constant lost cardigans and water bottles and wven a full lunch box once! All of which go missing INSIDE the school, never to return, and I then have to buy new.

And finally, the thing that sent me over the edge today: school photos. I have never once been able to afford a school photo in the 3 years my DD has been at school. They have just text to say that photo day is tomorrow. Leaving me no time to save up for the photo.

Do other people have this or am I extraordinarily broke? We have no luxuries at all; I don't even buy DD any sweets or little toys like the other Mums sometimes have at pickup time

Please tell me I am not alone? (First post - be nice!)

[EezerGoode]

Speek to the school.be honest,they should help you with costs for trips.as these are usually a contribution and can't be forced.im sure they would help with photos.our school gave my friend help with various trips and swimming travel costs...but you do need to be honest .good luck

[EezerGoode]

My school. Has been a godsend with every problem my child has...ASD..they have bent over backwards,,have you tried her class teacher? Could she not of helped her choose some lunch...

[FoofFighter]

Dds nursery photos are extortionately priced. I now dress her in her logo jumper and tasks her to MaxSpielmans in our Tesco, 5.99 for a set of pictures and always offers on. They looked better than the real deal as well.

[Passthecake30]

I bet if you send her in with a non-uniform jumper hers will reappear very promptly

How old is your dd? My ds use to be notorious for losing jumpers. Sent him in with a bright Primark jumper once... his uniform materialised fast! He also gets a little bit of pocket money, so the threat of paying for replacements himself has done wonders.

[AdoraBell]

Sorry, haven't RTFT, battery about to go.

Re water bottles, re-use rinsed out Coke, or whatever, bottles. Have her name writ large on all uniform and if you can get her back on fsm then speak to HT and insist that someone helps/encourages her re lunch. If not stick to sandwiches and put name, again large, inside lunch bag.

School pics while nice don't need to cost the earth, do your own as suggested. If you have a smart phone use that and email the photo to grandparents and yourselves.

Sorry if I'm repeating things.

[AngeloftheSouth84]

I've also lectured my daughter chronically about not leaving jumpers/water bottles/whatever else but yes tbh she seems to be one of those children who coulsn't care less for a school jumper until she needs it.
Do you know what? My daughter is the same. Leaving stuff lying around and couldn't care less. She lost her PE kit and had to do it in her knickers. That sorted that out!

[Star2015]

If your daughter is eligible for free school meals, she should be classed as a 'pupil premium' child or something similar as far as school is concerned, therefore things like school trips should be free.

Would be worth calling to speak to the school business manager when she's back to find out!

[whiteroseredrose]

I think your title should be that your DD is making you skint not school! Once they're in Y2 they're old enough to take responsibility

She's the one losing stuff. I had one like that. It's only when I stopped replacing and made him get jumpers and PE kit out of lost property (smelly/too big) that he started to place any importance on stuff. .

He had the luxury of being 'one of those kids who only thinks when he needs it' because I kept replacing stuff.

Re lunch. Only expensive if you put packaged stuff in. Basics wholemeal bread with cheese you slice yourself. One from bag of kids apples, banana, washed out and replaced plastic water bottle. Maybe a couple of plain biscuits wrapped in cling film. Raisins ditto.

Agree wholeheartedly about all the non uniform days and photos though. And don't get me started on theme days with less than a week to find or make (!!) an outfit!

[MrsBobtonTrent]

I got sick to the teeth of lost stuff at school. DS is disorganised, but DD is not, but still everything walks. I send plastic bottles from the recycling bin in for water now - write the name on it with a sharpie and if/when it goes missing it's not an issue. PE kit I now write the name on the outside with a sharpie - nothing has gone "missing" since then. Anything else I buy cheap but try to make distinctive (sew a ribbon on it, or a button flower, or a cheap patch from Amazon) so when wellies etc go missing, I can approach the child wearing them in the playground and request them back. Coats - name written on the outside on the back of the shoulder. Just got so fed up of buying things for other children to wear... Name tags are too simple to hide or remove.

Do you know any of the dinner ladies (or gentlemen)? Ask a friendly one to look out for DD. Most are local parents/grandparents at our school, and are usually glad to be approached - we asked one to ensure DS didn't get seconds and she was very helpful.

[Aderyn17]

Thry don't sound like a very helpful school tbh. The after school club thing was terrible - if you are the poster I'm thinking of, you had a thread about it?
I would consider changing schools

[Roundandroundtheapartment]

Haven't read the full thread but lots of schools use companies where you order the photo directly from the company rather than the school - they give you a password and code to see it on their website and it means you can order it at any time of the year

[crimsonlake]

I was wondering if your daughter was eligible for pupil premium. I should find out what she is entitled to and how the money is spent, it may be worth a look on the schools website as it normally has a section describing how it is spent. If not simply google it and do your own research and go armed with this to school, find out who is in charge of pupil premium at the school also.
Regarding lunch in KS1 every child is entitled to a free meal, it seems to me you must get your daughter to eat these and resolve the issue. As already said she will go in with her class whether she is a packed lunch or has a school lunch.
Be more proactive regarding her coming out with missing clothing. You need to go in with her to help her look, basically a teacher does not have the time to do this. Also go to lost property and if you find a item that fits your daughter but is not labelled I suggest you take that, at least temporarily.