Help with 9 year old's anxiety

[Hastybird]

My son is 9 and in the past few weeks has been displaying high anxiety - explosive outbursts, not sleeping until he's absolutely exhausted- can't settle to be read to, just repetitive tv until 11.30pm some nights (me or husband with him in our bed) He has no diagnosed Sen, he's always needed clear boundaries/very strong willed and some quirky anxiety patches when younger (not wanting to go upstairs alone, taking a while to go to sleep) but generally nothing too concerning until now. He has struggled through the last year at times but nothing like currently. He school refused a few times over the past couple of weeks (anxiety I think), school have been great. School appears to be a safe place for him and he does seem happy going. Spoke to GP last week who advised giving him time, pandemic etc and that lots are struggling. I am so concerned about the lack of sleep, also won't leave house or do anything on the weekend apart from watch TV, he's literally exhausted, no energy or enjoyment. Occasional glimpses of his usual self. Will game with friends for short periods but even that seems like too much for him.
The mental health 'system' feels really confusing, and advice is patchy- private is an option for us, but do I take a 'wait and see' approach as advised by the GP, or was I being fobbed off as potentially school have hinted. It all feels very political. School are putting in interventions (Sen TA working with him on anxiety, and an in school course of art therapy,)
My fix it mode wants to blast on through with private referral etc etc, part of me acknowledges he may just need time...it's knowing what to push for, and with who? Family members questioning whether he has asd, but this all seems to have kicked off in the pandemic, so I have no idea how to determine whether that's applicable. Many posts seem to refer to.older children. Anyway, a very long and rambling post..I'd really appreciate some advice from others in a similar position, or who have been down this road and are ahead of us? Thank you

[SeaToSki]

I have helped one ds through a huge battle with anxiety, you can pm me if you think I can help

[SeaToSki]

If you can access help privately then def do it. If he naturally has a high anxiety drive (which some children just do) then he will benefit from techniques to manage it. The other thing is that the more you ignore anxiety and pander to it, the worse it gets. You will be helping him enormously if you can connect with a good professional counsellor who can help him.

Also has he had a proper check up with the doctor to see if there is anything physical going on with him? I would also want that.

It might take a couple of goes to find a counsellor who he connects with. And he may not find it comfortable to start with, anxiety makes you want to hide and pretend it doesnt exist and counseling shines a big bright light on the problem, but given that medication isnt a good idea in young dc, counseling is the best way forward. The counselor should be happy to talk through things with you so you have good strategies for helping ds at home, but should also do some one on one sessions with ds

[PercyPigs1]

My daughter is 10 and has developed anxiety since the start of the pandemic last year. I've been accessing some help from the local child MH team - workshops, support calls etc and we're currently near the top of the list for 1:1 sessions with an emotional health worker. We self-referred after Googling child MH support in our area - is there anything similar you can try?