Aggression in 4 year old

[H3LPm3]

I am at breaking point with my 4 year old. He is so so aggressive and everything turns into a fit of rage, throwing things, screaming, shouting and hitting people. The words that come out of his mouth surprise me as we don't use negative language and yet he just has all of these words banked up in his vocabulary so I am genuinely surprised as to where he learns this stuff.

His school teacher is also really struggling with these outbursts. There are no specific triggers, it is literally a case of if he doesn't like something or something isn't going his way, it all starts. We have tried discipline in actions of removing things such as no TV, tablet time, lego etc. Time outs dont work, he isn't afraid of any sort of punishment. He just screams and shouts until he realises it doesnt get him attention or what he wants. This can be anything from 5 minutes to an hour.

It happens in the morning, afternoon, pretty much every bedtime and then if he wakes up at night, the screaming starts if we don't stay in his room with him or turn on every light in the house.

I am literally losing myself. I have aged so much through the stress. It is pretty much non stop. I love him, but he is literally breaking me.

I dont think this is normal 4 year old behaviour. My OH is putting it down to hormones, testing boundaries etc but I don't see any other child in the playground at school screaming or shouting or exhibiting any aggression the way he does. He is just always so angry.

Has anyone else been through similar and if so, what steps did you take?

[Frenchmartini02]

@H3LPm3 hey Op Im going through something similar with my 3.5 year old, currently waiting an assessment with psychologist but I wondered how things turned out with you and your son, I'm at my wits end!

[PaddyF0dder]

Has he witnessed/experienced violence or abuse?

Is he exposed to inappropriate media? Could be be?

When did the problem start? Any developmental issues/concerns?

How was he in nursery?

Any family history of mental health issues or developmental issues?

Any major changes/stressors in his life?

[Bumblebee1980a]

Oh bless him!

(Sorry just seen this post).

Yes anxiety can cause anger in a child. How is he now OP?

I can give some advice if still needed.

Please don't use time outs or any negative reinforcements. Only use time out if you're desperate and have 2 minutes (parenting is stressful!).

Sorry I don't know why the above writing is bigger!

[H3LPm3]

He is very confident but he does have aniexty i think, like worries what is in the loft, under his bed at night...usual kids stuff really. It doesn't matter how much we reassure him, in his mind there is a monster in the loft and under his bed.

But the outbursts are so random, can be literally the smallest thing.

[Littleguggi]

Is he a worrier? Often anxiety can be expressed as anger, especially in little ones.