Boarding school
illness at school
secondspring · 04/03/2023 09:02
My son wasn't feeling well last night and I feel that the school would prefer if they went home. I don't mind but we are now having to arrange everything to collect him. He is an hour away and 17 so not a small child which of course I would want him home. Are most schools like this? I would have to pay for a taxi though thankfully DH is here. The school has nurses and he is in the medical centre. He is never ill when home only at school.
NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy · 04/03/2023 09:22
If my 17 year old ds was unwell I'd want to see him myself, not leave him to an institution to look after him, however much I'd paid in school fees.
The school is clearly trying to tell you that right now, emotionally, he needs his mum.
2reefsin30knots · 04/03/2023 09:26
It's sad to read that you are this reluctant to bring your child home for the weekend. Does he enjoy boarding?
Hoppinggreen · 04/03/2023 09:29
You poor thing, being inconvenienced by your child being Ill
Theraffarian · 04/03/2023 09:30
I can’t imagine not wanting to bring him home even at the vast old age of 17 . Most people , children or not just want their own beds when they feel unwell .
FrownedUpon · 04/03/2023 09:38
He’s your child & he’s unwell. Surely you want to see him & bring him home? It sounds like it’s too much bother for you.
Sherrystrull · 04/03/2023 09:45
Arrange everything to collect him? It's an hours drive. Jump in the car and get him. I don't get why you wouldn't.
IndiganDop · 04/03/2023 09:47
I went to boarding school and we had an "infirmary". Parents were never called, even when we had flu.
Meandfour · 04/03/2023 09:48
You sound like the exact stereotype type of parent who sends their child to board; can’t be bothered with them at all and an out of sight, out of mind mentality.
Your poor son.
JustAnotherManicNameChange · 04/03/2023 09:55
So many feeble excuses as to why your son should stay where he is.
TheTeenageYears · 04/03/2023 10:16
What do they do if family live hours away or overseas? If it's a case of DS would rather go home when unwell that's one thing but it's a pretty poor boarding provision if it tries to send students home at the drop of a hat.
Lindy2 · 04/03/2023 10:34
You're only an hour away. That's a pretty normal commute for a lot of people. I was expecting you to be 3 or 4 hours away with your description of having to organise everything to get him home.
What does your son want to do? If he wants to come home go and get him.
LIZS · 04/03/2023 10:35
TheTeenageYears · 04/03/2023 10:16
What do they do if family live hours away or overseas? If it's a case of DS would rather go home when unwell that's one thing but it's a pretty poor boarding provision if it tries to send students home at the drop of a hat.
They would normally have a local guardian in loco parentis.
TheTeenageYears · 04/03/2023 11:26
@LIZS a local guardian is just someone in the UK - local guardian for my DC's was at least 3 hours away and fairly normal for a British family living overseas with a family member standing in rather than an overseas boarder paying for a local guardian which is very often in name only. No way would either of my DC's schools have expected them to be collected for a run of the mill illness -OP doesn't state anything significant so have to assume it's nothing serious.
Iloveautumncolours · 04/03/2023 11:33
How long has he been boarding? You say he’s never poorly at home, only at school. Is your ds happy at school? I think you need a seriously chat, he doesn’t sound like a happy 17 year old.
Nimbostratus100 · 04/03/2023 11:36
I feel so sad for your son I wish I could hug him.
Please go and get him and make him feel welcome and loved
maranella · 04/03/2023 11:39
How ill? If it's a normal run of the mill illness then I would expect him to be admitted to the san and cared for by the school medical staff (that's what always happened at my boarding school - but that was 30 years ago!)
TheCatch · 04/03/2023 11:50
IndiganDop · 04/03/2023 09:47
I went to boarding school and we had an "infirmary". Parents were never called, even when we had flu.
It's all different now. They always call parents, even if they are in the infirmary.
TheCatch · 04/03/2023 12:00
Just to add, they call parents so that they know their child is ill. Of course schools know where the parents are so if parents are 1hr away like OP is, they would ask if you would like to collect them? if parents are 4 hrs away depending on how ill the child is, it's mostly informative unless it is critical the child goes home. Boarding schools have changed a lot in the last few decades or so and work more closely - hand in hand with parents. Gone are the days a child will fall ill and parents get to hear about it only when they're on life support!
I think it's a good thing that the school prefers a sick child to go home, where possible, because they know recovery is likely to be quicker if they are with their parents unlike in the past, when schools thought it was, 'spoiling the child' and other draconian policies to prevent nurturing as they had to be 'hardy'.
Ahiccuportwo · 04/03/2023 12:17
You’re getting a rough ride here OP. How many of these holier-than-thou posters bung their ill DC into school with a dose of calpole so they can work etc?
Does your DS want to come home or are the school pushing for it?
Also, depends what the illness is. A cold, I would expect him to stay at school. Flu etc then I’d want to bring him home.
GoodbyeMrChips · 04/03/2023 12:18
Gosh this brings back memories, it is v different now! Like a pp, parents did not used to be informed if we were unwell. We would be in the San which had a trained nurse. The beds were v starched and cold and there were a few dusty books for entertainment. Sister would come around to check temperatures and decide when you could go back to class. I was there a week once and almost died of boredom!
Go and get your son, he’ll be much happier at home.
gogohmm · 04/03/2023 12:23
My DD's school didn't expect parents to collect for minor self limiting illness though I personally did collect dd twice, however we were local, 40 mins away (I also often popped up on Sundays and took her out for lunch) she was on a specialist bursary.
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