my childrens SGO placement is breaking down
doingmybest22 · 16/02/2022 00:03
hi im new here and just wondering if anyone has any advice whether your going through the same as me or maybe not but i would like kind words only please..
my children are with my dads niece placed under an SGO and have been there for just over 3 years as i was dealing with depression and had no help from family at the time i was tricked into signing a voluntarily S20 (section 20) meaning signing my children over to SS and was made to believe it was all temporary and i could get them back at any given time. the separation from them soon made my depression worse and was constantly overthinking that i was tricked and i wouldnt get them back. i had applied to end the S20 after 5 days and was told that it wasnt possible and that the SW will be in touch and i would have to attend court.
i didnt have a very good relationship with the SW at the time and felt she was out to take my children as she seen me at my lowest point in life and instead of helping and supporting me she offered to place my children under s20. i received a letter for court to that the SW had applied for a interim care order and used my mental health as the reason. anyway cut a long story short throughout the whole proceedings i had a outstanding reports from the contact worker as my contacts with the children were amazing and not one thing they could use against me, my eldest son however didnt take too well to the separation of me and him and started playing up in school lashing out, his foster carer had reported to me that he had been sobbing his heart out for me and wanted to come home. my son had been asking me at contact when he could come home, i would record everything down in a notepad and show it to my solicitor. i believed i would get them back and i fighted it all the way in courts and they said my mental health/depression will always be a risk, the SW also made false allegations against me and these were put before a judge and false doctors reports this made my life hell as they then applied to take my children down the adoption route. i fighted against this and was granted an SGO with my dads neice and i would still have contact with them. this made me more at ease but still i was heartbroken as they had taken my babies away from me and used MH as an excuse. this is disgraceful. since the separation from my children i have not had any relapse into depression and i have found new ways to handle my emotions. i picked myself up and did what was best for my boys.
I have a very good relationship with my children aged 4 and 7 and speak with them regularly by video call, i also have contact with them where i organise days out with them (guardian comes too). me and the guardian have a positive relationship and speak all the time.
my eldest son has still been playing up since being placed under the SGO and i have always said that he would need some professional intervention with coming to terms of the separation from his mother. he has changed from being this bright eyed full of life happy little boy to this unhappy boy. hes getting into trouble at school and at home.
the SGO placement has been breaking down due to his behaviour for several months now and the guardian has mentioned to me that she may have to call SS so i was wondering if i could discharge the sgo and get him back. i know there is a process for this to happen but i was wanting to know where would i stand to get him back. i have taken into consideration the fact that he has been under the sgo for 3 years and hes settled in the home and goes to school, has all of his friends and to take all that away may have another impact on him. but i do believe it would be in his best interests to come back to me.
i have spoken with CAB and they have advised me to take it back to court but is there not another way? as my understanding is that the guardian has PR and theres no SS involved so would it not be a case of just returning him back to me?
im sorry for the long essay lol but just felt i should get it out there.
i have been watching conversations on this site for a few weeks now and felt scared to share and ask for advice off strangers but there it is i did it.... please be kind when commenting....
TracyMosby · 16/02/2022 00:12
Ive no advice or knowledge
But wanted to bump for you. Maybe ask for this to be moved to legal?
Cissyandflora · 16/02/2022 00:23
I think you’d need to take it back to court. If your situation has changed substantially then you might be assessed as being able to meet your child’s needs. I think if you take him back without the social worker involvement you could have problems. But you need legal advice and maybe people on here can advise better than me.
watcherintherye · 16/02/2022 00:34
Is it possible for you to get some proper legal advice? It sounds like a complex and distressing situation, and I’m not sure anyone on MN will be able to give you the guidance you need. Maybe if you re-post, as suggested, on ‘Legal Matters’ which can be found under ‘Other stuff’ in the list of topics, someone can provide you with some helpful information. I hope you get some answers as to the best way forward.
Alliswells · 16/02/2022 08:41
You'll have to go through the proper channels so you need to get legal advice. You would have to apply to the court to have the SGO discharged and to do this they would expect you to demonstrate that there have been positive changes in your circumstances that would enable you now to care for your son.
Basically you're going to need to be reassessed alongside the court and Social Workers assessing your son's needs. The best advice I can give is to try and establish some sort of positive working relationship with the Social Worker and to work with them.
Also ... If your son is playing up a bit behaviour wise ... How will you manage that? It certainly won't be a case of him returning home to you and he morphs back into the child he was a few years ago.
cdba88 · 16/02/2022 08:48
You'd have to go back to court, a social worker would have to complete an assessment on you to make sure you could manage. It's a judges decision.
Get legal advice.
Cissyandflora · 16/02/2022 10:37
It will be crucial for you to have a good relationship with a social worker who will need to do an assessment. I understand you feel resentful but if you want things to change you will need to show you can work with these professionals.
bexnlex · 17/02/2022 16:50
i have my nephew on a sgo and have for 5 years he’s 8 and now displaying trauma symptoms due to being taken away from mum and dad even though he was 13 days old the court preceding went on for 2 years . i’ve applied for and been awarded counciling provided and paid for by social services up to 5k a year so get your niece to put in for it . he is doing some family tree workshops and general counselling using play therapy and also school will be getting some paid for support to assist them with his behaviour .
with regards to ending the order it needs to be done the right way so this is firstly finding a solicitor even if it’s just for 30 mins free advice then contact social services and work with them even if you don’t agree with everything just do as they ask, show willing, admit previous issues and show you can parent him as good as anyone else . don’t throw blame at them or be awkward as they have the power we don’t unfortunately try and document all meetings and be patient as it won’t be a quick thing
fingers crossed for you
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