Are we spoiling our 4 year old?
mumbrain37 · 22/06/2018 12:31
would really appreciate some impartial opinion's please. My husband and I have had many disagreements about how to parent our son. Our son is 4 yrs old.
My husband is a wonderful,loving father. He spends lots of time with our son but I think he is a bit permissive in his parenting and has a tendency to spoil our son. There have been many disagreements over the years but I won't go into them all. The main sticking point we have at present regards pocket money.
My son has £5.00 pocket money every Saturday and some sweets.In reality the value of the gifts are more than £5.00 as my husband buys my son a power ranger figure of eBay secondhand for about £2 or £3 but are worth at least £10.00 new.My husband says the real value is irrelevant as the cost is only small.My son then spends the other £3.00 on more toys.My son doesn't do anything to earn this pocket money. I think it is excessive and my son will feel entitled and will be spoilt. I would like him to atleast earn it. My husband says he deserves a treat and he always had pocket money when he was little,so did I but 50p.Also my son gets lots of gifts from grandparents,even though I have tried to stop this. My son now greets them with "what have you got me"? It's not his fault.He is a sweet boy in lots of ways.Shares his toys.Never has tantrums. Accepts when we say no mostly, might have a bit of a moan but mostly good. Never mean to other kids. Is extremely friendly. On a less positive note he is very demanding of attention,talks constantly and wants constant interaction. Is extremely full on and intense in character. People can find him exhausting but also comment on how friendly and happy he is.
He has a six week old sister So I'm wary about making any changes for another six weeks as I read that you shouldn't change anything for three months after a sibling is born.
What do you think is this excessive? Should I just let this go? We argue about it alot. It really bothers me but I might be wrong and making too much of this. Any opinions advice would be really appreciated.
mumbrain37 · 22/06/2018 19:41
Thank you so much for your opinions. It's really helped.
rainingcatsanddog · 22/06/2018 18:19
I think that £5 is a lot too.
Giving him £1 and looking at the price of sweets before choosing is plenty if he's getting toy figures and gifts from grandparents as well.
If you want to give him money to buy a new toy once a month would be plenty.
Cutyourshakehole · 22/06/2018 13:38
I think £5 per week is a lot for a four year old! He’s too young.
Maybe create a fun chart with a rocket blue tacked at the bottom and when he does somethingn nice or helpful move the rocket up.. when it reaches the top he gets to choose a magazine or something at the end of the week or however long.
He will expect from people if he is always given that’s not his fault. Good age to
Nip it in the bud though
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