3 yr old @ bedtime- total nightmare!

[Pretamum]

My 3 yr old son is driving us mad. We've just come back from the UK (we live abroad) after spending 2 weeks with our parents and friends, and he's turned into a total nightmare when asking him to do anything now we're back, especially at bedtime. 2 weeks with his grandparents indulging his every whim has had a big impact - the spoiling is fine as they only see him once or twice a year so I understand why they would spoil him rotten, but man it's so hard getting him back into a routine after that, and getting him to accept the word 'no'! Bedtime is hell - he refuses to brush his teeth, go for a wee, get into his bed etc etc and has total breakdowns when we push him to do these things. He is also never happy with the amount of bedtime stories, bedtime milk etc and we eventually just give up trying to negotiate with him and let him scream himself to sleep. I know, so far, so 3 year old. He's never normally this bad though, and if he is he gets over it after a couple of days and goes back to behaving at bedtime. But he's become quite unpleasant, and the tactics that used to work on him no longer have any impact. We got a rewards chart for him but 2 minutes after he excitedly agreed his reward would be a new toy, he went into meltdown mode yet again. He is probably still tired too after a long journey and going back to nursery straight away, but dear god I just want him to be fractionally more reasonable at bedtime than he is now. He is super stubborn. My husband is working away all next week too, so I'm dreading having to cope with this alone if he carries on with this behaviour. It also feels pretty crappy listening to him scream himself to sleep every night, makes me feel like a crap mum. Any advice from other parents would be welcomed gladly!