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Bleeping mother 😡

55 replies

Tillygetsit · 16/05/2019 23:27

My youngest is called Cassia. It's not hard. My 4 year old calls her Cass or Cassie. Fine. My flipping mother says she cant do "exotic foreign names" and calls her Candy which I HATE! I've spoken to her about it a billion times (probably an exaggeration but not by much) She laughs it off. I'm scared it will stick. My dh says he will start calling her Jelly if she carries on and she tells him not to be so disrespectful 😣 Any advice apart from the very tempting gaffer tape over the mouth solution?

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macaroniandpizza · 30/05/2019 11:08

Id call granny a nickname that is annoying and get everyone to call her it. She will soon change her tune

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GummyGoddess · 26/05/2019 14:47

Agree with pp, a 'serious' chat about her memory and whether she needs to visit the gp for dementia testing, perhaps also has she considered a power of attorney, and while she's still with it has she considered which retirement home she might like if she continues this decline in her faculties?

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Smoliver · 26/05/2019 14:46

Cassia is lovely. I don't see what her problem.

I'm with the others about roping your 4 year old in. Even just saying to your mother "My 4 year old can say Cassia. Why do you have such a problem saying it?"

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steppemum · 26/05/2019 14:39

definitely change her name.

refer to her as Grumpy instead of Granny and as Mama instead of Mum.

I would do it totally deadpan, until she comments and then say, not angrily in anyway - you refuse to use my daughters actual name, so we have done the same. It isn't very nice is it?

It won;t take long!

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Malyshek · 26/05/2019 14:24

Totally agree with everyone here. It's incredibly rude and also clearly a power play - she's trying to hurt you, and to show you "who is boss".

I wouldn't start calling her names because you'd be playing her game. Instead, I see two options :

  • if you're feeling more kind and patient than she has any right to expect, you can correct her (every single time) with the longsuffering patience of a teacher with a child that's a bit slow. "we talked about this, mum. It's Cassia. C-a-s-s-i-a. It's really not that difficult, I thought you'd manage to remember six small letters. Or do I need to use words of less than 2 syllables, if you're that slow ?"


  • or, just sanction her. She says Candy? You won't be seeing her for 1 month. She says it again ? It's gonna be six months. Again? Make it one year. Either she'll learn, or she doesn't actually want a relationship with you.
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PBobs · 18/05/2019 10:47

I feel your pain. My mum's dad never called me by my real name because it was foreign sounding - let alone the fact that I am actually half "foreign". He had a similar sounding English name he used which was bloody awful. He even used to write it in cards etc. Not sure what to suggest but I too like the idea of just calling your mum random names.

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FartnissEverbeans · 18/05/2019 06:14

Everything time she says Candy you should call her cunto, she'll soon stop

My favourite solution!! Grin

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ZebraKid71 · 17/05/2019 21:49

My name is a variant of Cassia and when my mum named me my grandma's response was "that's ridiculous, how will I ever remember to pronounce that". Once my mum told her that if she couldn't even learn to say her own granddaughters name then she wouldn't see me she caught on pretty quickly.

Honestly, I'd do the same in your position. It is just rude, and disrespectful.. Not just to you but to your daughter! I'd bluntly tell her if she can't respect your daughter and her name then she won't see her. She'll soon learn.

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foreverhanging · 17/05/2019 20:11

just start calling her Bum instead of Mum

I am sniggering at this

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foreverhanging · 17/05/2019 20:09

Candy Shock

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CloserIAm2Fine · 17/05/2019 19:51

She’s being a total dick.
And Cassia is a lovely name!

Every time she uses Candy you or DH need to correct her. And keep calling her the wrong name, when she says it’s disrespectful tell her you’ll stop when she stops disrespecting you and your DD in the same way

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abiirthdaycake · 17/05/2019 19:40

I was also going to suggest having your 4yo call her by her first name until she stops - it seems effective, going by stories I've heard

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CoraPirbright · 17/05/2019 18:50

Rude and disrespectful of her. And Angry at her complaining that your husband is being disrespectful of her!! Frankly ‘Jelly’ is too nice as a substitute name - how about ‘rude bitch’?

But I would be telling her that until she can use the proper name, she wont be seeing the baby...or any of you.

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ThatCurlyGirl · 17/05/2019 18:48

May we all christen her Candyzilla? I think you might post about her again for various reasons!

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starkid · 17/05/2019 15:43

Wow, I'd have a lot of say to her on the subject if my mother said something like that to me! I feel really angry on your behalf now, and on behalf of the rest of us with 'exotic, foreign-sounding' names (Cassia isn't even that 'crazy' a name!) :(
I'd stop her seeing her unless she quit being so ignorant and childish to be honest Cassia/Cassie isn't hard, crikey.

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Summerorjustmaybe · 17/05/2019 14:58

My mil refused to use ds's name as she hated it apparently. Started calling him TJ and enlisted sil to do too. Told her either she uses his name or I would not be going round.
Sorted!!
Was secretly hoping she continued with her shit tbh!!

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Tillygetsit · 17/05/2019 14:52

Again thanks for the replies. She's currently not talking to me over another issue so it's bliss! Roping 4yr old in is an excellent idea...if Atilla the mum ever talks to us again!

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PepsiLola · 17/05/2019 14:42

I would tell my DM if she doesn't call my child by their correct name then they won't be given the opportunity to call them their name at all.

Soon learn. Tough love

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churchthecat · 17/05/2019 13:10

Cassia is lovely. Candy is a crackwhore name.

Tell DM that you expect her to make the effort to correctly pronounce her own grandchild's name. And continue to correct her every single time.

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ThatCurlyGirl · 17/05/2019 12:59

Ah that classic British name, Candy.

She sounds batshit!

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CupOhTea · 17/05/2019 12:52

Sorry, but your mum is a total dick.

Cassia is a beautiful name and she is being unbelievably rude Angry. I'm miffed on your behalf! I'd be having serious words with her. Stupid woman.

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LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 17/05/2019 12:19

Or tell her you are changing your child’s name to something more easily pronounced. Maybe Dave or John?

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kaytee87 · 17/05/2019 10:25

Cassia is lovely, Candy is horrible.
I'm with your DH on this, call her the wrong name til she stops.
How often do you see her? What does your daughter say about it?

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Hoppinggreen · 17/05/2019 10:25

Ask her why she is calling your daughter a stripper name

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ErrmWTAF · 17/05/2019 10:24

She reminds me if that nasty rich white neighbour in Then Again Maybe I Won't (Judy Blume's teen boy novel).

It's "other"ism. I'm not specifically saying racism, but probably not far off.

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