Exhaustion

[julybubs]

I had my daughter 5 days ago. Forceps delivery so struggling with the healing. Sore and didn't realise the recovery time. Felt that hard to swallow then because I lost 2l of blood it's made me feel so weak and Ill. Got discharged and went downhill so back in hospital 2 days later having 2 blood transfusions
I felt from yesterday I'm really really struggling
Trying to pin point why I don't feel happy:

*forceps recovery finding hard, sore and sitting on a donut,restricting what I want to do in my head ( walks to the park, days out with my other daughter (10yrs) as a family - my partners paternity leave is running out ! Feel sad about this.

*general feeling of being unwell. I'm absolutely exhausted, have anemia (on iron tablets) face doesn't look like me - tired and horrible complexion like a grey colour and red/brown circles under my eyes. Feel weak and lightheaded. I feel I'm walking around in a brain fog.

*miss just feeling like 'me' this is my second child and the first I had PND so I recognise the signs but I don't feel it's that, I feel it's this blood loss/trauma from birth because of the blood loss that's contributed to this feeling rather than PND if that makes sense?

*sense of nervousness and worry about if maybe the transfusion didn't work/not going to get better - can't shake off

I am resting (where you can with a newborn!) have the most supportive fiancé and I even slept in my daughters room last night so I could get a full night sleep and I've still woken feeling same.

My HV is calling today after my 5 day check as baby hasn't pooed in 5 days but do I tell her ?
Who do I talk to?
I feel a bit lost and sad of how this has made me feel?

Thank you for reading x