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AIBU?

To think that when all animal prototypes were assessed the only logical conclusion for a quadraped was a goat

98 replies

ClareBlue · 25/01/2024 00:50

Goats are basically the result of a successful design spec for an animal with 4 legs.

Not BU agree goats are the GOAT design
BU you think a goat can't even run in a straight line

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ClareBlue · 25/01/2024 10:53

Spendonsend · 25/01/2024 08:43

The goats on the farm are real characters but they seem to eat stuff that makes them ill all the time.

This is very true. They are really bad at avoiding plants that make them ill. Hand rearing is a problem for them as they actually need their mum to guide them in this area. The don't have a natural instinct to avoid some very dangerous plants. Rhododendron will kill them but they will eat it until they do actually die.

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ClareBlue · 25/01/2024 11:07

EmpressaurusOfTheScathingTinsel · 25/01/2024 10:41

You can’t snuggle up in bed with a goat.

Or at least, I suppose it’s theoretically doable but…

Maybe you can....
We have one that sun bathes and you can snuggle her no problem when she is relaxing in the sun. She will let you cuddle her and lay her head on you and fall asleep They can be surprisingly effectionate. Her cousin would not let you do that what so ever. Goats are all completely different in what they like.

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FrillyGoatFluff · 25/01/2024 12:45

The only design flaw is the rectangular pupils, which are odd. But willing to (corner-ily) overlook this due to the other obvious benefits.

Goats for the win.

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GuppytheCat · 25/01/2024 12:50

Wilkolampshade · 25/01/2024 07:10

Have you tried milking a cat?
Goats all the way.

Umm, actually, yes.

In my defence, the cat rescue suggested it as a means of encouraging labour. In the cat, I mean. She was pregnant. Not me.

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AllProperTeaIsTheft · 25/01/2024 12:54

Hmmm. Maybe. I'm with the poster who mentioned silkiness upthread. Bonus GOAT points if they are ones with long, soft hair that I can spin and make into lovely things. Alpacas are good for that, but they are apparently insane. Mind you, so are goats.

YABVU. Clearly, the superior quadruped is and always will be the cat because, well...cats!

My cat is not superior, he's an absolute numbskull.

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SinnerBoy · 25/01/2024 13:20

ClareBlue · Today 01:55

Please note. Alpacas are not Limas.

True, true. They're also not Montevideos.

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istolethetalisker · 25/01/2024 13:24

Have yet to meet the goat that will curl up in your lap and purr at the end of a bad day

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LoobyDop · 25/01/2024 13:28

You can’t put cats and goats into a single category. Cats are clearly the best four-legged carnivores. I’m afraid goats don’t get my vote for the best vegetarian animal either, as they don’t taste very nice.

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ZZTopGuitarSolo · 25/01/2024 13:32

Baby goats are the GOAT.

But once they’re adults I think cats take the prize.

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JaninaDuszejko · 25/01/2024 13:35

I'm struggling because I love goats and cats.

Let's consider how they smell. Cats definitely smell the best, followed by nanny goats. Billy goats stink to high heaven though.

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SiobhanSharpe · 25/01/2024 13:57

A former neighbour (daft woman, she kissed chickens) also kept goats, cashgoras I think. Dear god, the smell. Especially the billys.
Thry also had uncertain temperaments, to put it politely.

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EmpressaurusOfTheScathingTinsel · 25/01/2024 14:00

GuppytheCat · 25/01/2024 12:50

Umm, actually, yes.

In my defence, the cat rescue suggested it as a means of encouraging labour. In the cat, I mean. She was pregnant. Not me.

You can’t stop there!!!

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MereDintofPandiculation · 25/01/2024 14:04

LauderSyme · 25/01/2024 01:52

I humbly submit the cat your honour.

I want to be more interesting and suggest the capybara or the camel, but in all honesty, big or small, cats are GOATs.

Cats can’t go down trees head first. Even a squirrel can manage that

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LenaLamont · 25/01/2024 14:09

It's because of goats that we have coffee. (Ethiopian legend, and Ethiopia is where coffee originates)
Props to goats for that, my every morning would be sadder without them.


My cat won't even put the kettle on.

The Origin of Coffee: Kaldi and the Dancing Goats

According to legend, the origin of coffee can be traced to Kaldi, an Abyssinian goatherd whose goats began to prance about after they ate some red berries.

https://www.coffeecrossroads.com/coffee-history/origin-of-coffee-kaldi-and-dancing-goats

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ScrambledSmegs · 25/01/2024 14:14

Next door neighbour's goats like to climb on your lap and have a cuddle while eating your hair

Unfortunately they are also the size and weight of a Shetland pony. You're not moving till the goat wants you to move.

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ErrolTheDragon · 25/01/2024 14:42

There's a couple of miniature goats in a paddock I often walk past in the village, we usually have a little conversation. They really are excellent little beasts. Capable of scaring a bloody great horse though, just by existing ... I think that tells you more about horses than goats tbh.

We have to exclude lamas, obviously, as we all fall asleep stroking them

I've never considered stroking a lama, certainly not as an aid to sleep. ConfusedThey're possibly the epitome of bipeds if they've reached enlightenment.


Llamas otoh, aren't they all too liable to spit?

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MrsTerryPratchett · 25/01/2024 14:46

EggTheFirst · 25/01/2024 09:36

Horses are incredibly badly designed, legs are essential but have no fat so easily damaged tendons and ligaments. Cannot lie down for long periods but have to lie down for an hour a day for REM sleep. Bred for riding but often have issues with the spinal processes touching and squeezing a ligament when carrying weight. Need to eat constantly (can’t go for more that 4 hours without eating or they get ulcers) yet if they eat too much they cannot vomit, lives on grass but if the grass has too much sugar it causes swelling in the hoof that can cause the bone in the hoof to rotate and drop out of the bottom. That’s just the common issues 🙄

I bet the tiny Chinggis Khan horses weren't like that. It's us buggering with them.

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ClareBlue · 25/01/2024 15:39

FrillyGoatFluff · 25/01/2024 12:45

The only design flaw is the rectangular pupils, which are odd. But willing to (corner-ily) overlook this due to the other obvious benefits.

Goats for the win.

But this gives them around 300 degrees periferle vision which means they can not be stalked easily. They hate you being in the line directly behind their horns as it the only time they can't see you. They'll flip round if you are there and they hear you.

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afuckinggoat · 25/01/2024 15:47

I want to say, "Sounds just like the kind of post a goat would write," but my accusation has less of an impact when I have this username.

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WallaceinAnderland · 25/01/2024 15:51

Goats just don't GAF about anything and that makes them the GOAT.

(And they bribe us with cheese)

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SinnerBoy · 25/01/2024 16:15

MrsTerryPratchett · Today 14:46

I bet the tiny Chinggis Khan horses weren't like that. It's us buggering with them.

The ones they use for Kok Par in Kazakhstan are small, very sturdy beasts.

These days, the tussle is no longer over the decapitated head of a defeated enemy, but a sheep.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 25/01/2024 20:08

SinnerBoy · 25/01/2024 16:15

MrsTerryPratchett · Today 14:46

I bet the tiny Chinggis Khan horses weren't like that. It's us buggering with them.

The ones they use for Kok Par in Kazakhstan are small, very sturdy beasts.

These days, the tussle is no longer over the decapitated head of a defeated enemy, but a sheep.

Are they Przewalski's horse like in Mongolia?

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MooseBeTimeForSnow · 25/01/2024 20:56

We get these traffic stoppers locally.

To think that when all animal prototypes were assessed the only logical conclusion for a quadraped was a goat
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