My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To ask why my DH never listens to me…

34 replies

Tabithasettles · 10/01/2024 12:43

Just that really. There are areas of life where I have more skill, experience or knowledge than him and vice versa.

If I share advice I’m nagging, micro managing and he always gets annoyed. He literally will argue against my advice - even when it’s bloody obvious I’m right.

If he shares advice he’s helping and if I don’t agree or don’t listen he gets angry about it. I’m arrogant and not listening. He shares A LOT of unsolicited advice. Really obvious stuff too.

Mainly needed to vent but also wondering if other people get this too? Any strategies? I sometimes just let him fail but this often then has knock on consequences for me.

One example is I’m much better than him at judging how long something will take. Recently we needed to be somewhere by a certain time. We needed to leave in the next five minutes. It was crucial to be there on time. He started to put the kettle on and make a sandwich. I said we haven’t got time to do that. Conversation then went;

DH ‘we have got time for a quick cup of tea’
me; ‘we really haven’t, we need to leave in five minutes maximum’
DH ‘It will be fine’
Me; ‘it’s x o’clock now and it takes x amount of time to get there’
DH - frustrated and cross ‘No, it will be fine, I’ve got time for a cup of tea, I’ve been at work all day.’ (He works less hours than me btw)
me; ‘it’s x o’clock now, we need to be there by x o’clock, it takes x amount of time and we need to find parking and walk to venue’
DH ‘It won’t take that long’
me: ‘I think it will and I don’t want to be late so I’m going now. You can take the other car and join me’

I put my shoes and coat on, grabbed the car key and headed out. He then quickly stopped making a cup of tea got his coat and came with me and we arrived JUST in time, exactly when I knew we would. No sorry. No ‘you were right’.

No LTB please. It may well
come to that (for many reasons) but for now I’m stuck with him.

OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

69 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
7%
You are NOT being unreasonable
93%
Diymesss · 10/01/2024 14:52

@Isheabastard a damp cloth... that's hilarious

My ex tried to give me advice on breastfeeding, when I'd been the one who'd gone to classes, not to mention having the right equipment

Report
Tabithasettles · 10/01/2024 17:52

DaftFlerken · 10/01/2024 13:35

my DH occasionally tells me all about the really interesting he learnt/heard/had a good idea about while completely forgetting it was me that actually told him

Edited

This happens too. But it will be something he has disagreed about about. So I’ll share that I think that 2+2=4. He will
argue and argue that it’s 5 and that you should never add 2 to 2. A day or two later I’ll hear him saying to someone, ‘we’ll what I think is that 2+2=4.

OP posts:
Report
WhereverIlaymycatthatsmyhome · 10/01/2024 17:59

Given your update @Tabithasettles, I don’t think you should leave him.

I think you should kill him.

Report
FreeAdamsApples · 10/01/2024 18:00

Tabithasettles · 10/01/2024 17:52

This happens too. But it will be something he has disagreed about about. So I’ll share that I think that 2+2=4. He will
argue and argue that it’s 5 and that you should never add 2 to 2. A day or two later I’ll hear him saying to someone, ‘we’ll what I think is that 2+2=4.

That's exactly what my ex used to do to me too. It was all about demeaning me and making me angry. And taking the credit for himself. Strong people don't feel the need to behave like that.

Report
Tabithasettles · 10/01/2024 18:42

DuchessOfSausage · 10/01/2024 13:37

FGS, @Tabithasettles , stop nagging will you. Wink

😂

OP posts:
Report
Tabithasettles · 10/01/2024 18:42

WhereverIlaymycatthatsmyhome · 10/01/2024 17:59

Given your update @Tabithasettles, I don’t think you should leave him.

I think you should kill him.

OK. I who’s getting a patio built soon?

OP posts:
Report
PuntasticUsername · 10/01/2024 18:46

I think you're probably smarter than him, and he knows it, and he can't handle it.

Report
Ace56 · 10/01/2024 18:50

I think your response in the OP was completely correct to have just left without him! I would also have pointed out (maybe in a lighthearted way but still strongly enough to be heard) ‘phew, just in time, just as well you didn’t have that cup of tea eh?’ And repeat every time something like this happens. Keep pointing out every time you’re proven right.

Report
AndSoFinally · 12/01/2024 18:35

These threads always remind me of this from The Fast Show

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.