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AIBU?

Do you think I was snubbed on purpose from friend’s birthday?

200 replies

pirt · 21/01/2023 18:29

It’s a good friend of mine’s birthday. I asked her what her plans were for the day, and she mentioned that she was just going to hang out with one of her new friends in town.

I got a message from a mutual friend of ours asking if I could make it to lunch to celebrate. They were planning the lunch for the birthday girl.

I had no plans so kept the schedule free. On the morning of the birthday, the mutual friend text to see if I was still on for lunch. I said I was, and where are we all meeting?

I got no response, so I got ready in a nice dress and did my make up etc. I sent another message saying, “hey, awaiting further instruction 😁”

I got no response again. So I assumed it wasn’t happening.

Then this evening I go on instagram, and see a photo of mutual friend, birthday girl, and the new friend out for lunch!

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

FrenchandSaunders · 21/01/2023 18:30

How odd! Can you speak to mutual friend about it?

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Notimeforaname · 21/01/2023 18:31

Call one of them and ask out straight.

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Chowtime · 21/01/2023 18:33

Ring up mutual friend and ask her why she invited you to lunch and then didn't tell you where the lunch was going to be when you asked her. Say exactly that. Better still, say it to her face when you see her.

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TakeABite · 21/01/2023 18:33

That’s really shitty. Def ask WTH happened.
Sorry op Flowers

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redskydelight · 21/01/2023 18:33

Not sure why you didn't ring after the "awaiting instructions" message went unanswered. Messages do go astray ... They probably thought you were snubbing them.

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TidyDancer · 21/01/2023 18:34

That's really poor. If they knew they were expecting you they should've messaged. I think you have to say something.

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giveadogabeer · 21/01/2023 18:34

She’s not a friend that’s so rude

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Burningdownthehouse · 21/01/2023 18:46

That's not a nice feeling. Ask the mutual friend about it.

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clpsmum · 21/01/2023 18:52

redskydelight · 21/01/2023 18:33

Not sure why you didn't ring after the "awaiting instructions" message went unanswered. Messages do go astray ... They probably thought you were snubbing them.

This tbh

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pirt · 21/01/2023 18:55

Alright, I messaged the mutual friend who had organised and they said “sorry I did ask birthday girl, but they said they were seeing you on Friday”

Which is true, we do already have plans together on Friday. But I don’t really see why I couldn’t have met up twice in a week.

Makes me feel all daft really 😩

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Notimeforaname · 21/01/2023 18:59

She really needed to apologise for blanking you and leaving you there waiting.

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Outtasteamandluck · 21/01/2023 19:00

☹️

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fruitypancake · 21/01/2023 19:01

That was shitty of them both ! X

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IhearyouClemFandango · 21/01/2023 19:03

Why did she text you today then by that logic?

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butterfliedtwo · 21/01/2023 19:03

pirt · 21/01/2023 18:55

Alright, I messaged the mutual friend who had organised and they said “sorry I did ask birthday girl, but they said they were seeing you on Friday”

Which is true, we do already have plans together on Friday. But I don’t really see why I couldn’t have met up twice in a week.

Makes me feel all daft really 😩

That's pretty shitty. I'd feel upset and probably cool things for a bit tbh.

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pirt · 21/01/2023 19:06

Half thinking about cancelling our plans on Friday, now. But is that cutting my nose off to spite my face?

To think I was sat there with my hair curled, and a present and balloon ready 😂

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Ginger1982 · 21/01/2023 19:08

Why would mutual friend text you that morning? I would call her out on that.

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Coffeellama · 21/01/2023 19:09

I’d cancel the Friday plans and tell them why, even if it wasn’t on purpose it was thoughtless

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lemonyfox · 21/01/2023 19:10

If I were you I'd cancel Friday too. The mutual friend was obviously inviting you until the birthday girl told her not to.

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SalmonEile · 21/01/2023 19:10

oh i think I’d not bother with Friday :-/
the birthday girl didn’t invite you when you asked what her plans were and then again when mutual friend asked about you
return the present or just keep it for yourself

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Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 21/01/2023 19:10

lemonyfox · 21/01/2023 19:10

If I were you I'd cancel Friday too. The mutual friend was obviously inviting you until the birthday girl told her not to.

This. Birthday girl has clearly said no to you coming. I wouldn't bother tbh. It's a poor way to treat a friend

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gamerchick · 21/01/2023 19:11

Mutual friend is lying. You don't blatantly ignore someone like that and your friend, isn't a friend OP. I'm sorry. I'd be telling them both, that was a shitty thing to do to you.

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XanaduKira · 21/01/2023 19:12

I agree with everyone else Op, for whatever reason, the birthday girl didn't want you there and that's no way to treat a friend. Poor of both the birthday girl and the mutual friend. Sorry Op!

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BiscoffAnythingIsTheWayForward · 21/01/2023 19:17

I agree, if this were me I’d cancel. In fact I’d probably message right at the time I was due to meet them and say ‘sorry, I can’t make it, somethings come up’. 100% bad vibes here.

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Unicorn2022 · 21/01/2023 19:19

Definitely cancel the Friday. She's basically grading you as a B list friend who she doesn't invite to the actual event. It was also really shit of your mutual friend to leave you hanging.

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