4 years ago (before anyone had heard of Covid so not a lockdown puppy) I bought a puppy. It was a breed I’d always wanted and she was perfect. I did everything by the book, training classes, socialisation classes etc - she excelled in all her classes and she really was perfect.
Then she hit 6 months old and changed. She became dog reactive - no idea why as I’d socialised her so much (in hindsight, too much). I worked on that but she became dog aggressive - then people aggressive. She hates men and kids. This means I can’t have my grandchildren over as it’s just not safe. Infact we can’t have anyone over, nobody visits anymore. All walks with her are stressful so we stick to the same route everytime and I try and walk her at times when the kids are at school so we’re less likely to see any. We can’t go anywhere as we’re so restricted with where she can go. I got a dog so I could take it to the beach, to the woods, to the park etc etc … I can’t take her anywhere. I’ve just braved a quiet beach with her and she screamed the place down before lunging and barking at anyone we came across, it was so embarrassing and after 10 minutes I gave up and came home.
I feel like a prisoner with her, every day is stressful and exhausting. I’m at the point now where i no longer want to walk her. But she’s so full of energy she needs it. I can’t rehome her as she’s aggressive. I’m stuck. I’ve had two behaviourists and 4 trainers. No difference. I’ve been told it’s all about “managing” her behaviour.
Sounds awful but I’ve started to fantasise about the time she’s no longer here :-( and I feel so guilty saying that as she adores me and I love her but I can’t do this for another 10 or so years. I’m really resenting how much time I’m missing out on with my grandkids because of her. All the places we can’t go, the days she’s ruined …. Just needed a rant really. So fed up.
The constant barking is driving me insane. She’s constantly “on guard”. I’m so tired of it.
AIBU?
Starting to really resent my dog
StopBloodyBarking · 31/12/2022 11:21
Am I being unreasonable?
641 votes. Final results.
POLLwhataboutsecondbreakfast · 31/12/2022 17:14
But we're not talking about "naughty dogs who need training". We're talking about dogs who were born so messed up that nothing we do can fix them - and they do exist, though people don't like to admit it.
Not all dogs are born mentally stable. Whether that's bad luck, birth defects, genetics or a mixture of all three is irrelevant, really. It's simply not fair or kind to keep dogs alive when they're so clearly suffering with day to day life. It's human selfishness. Dogs don't understand mortality and they certainly don't understand that they're potentially missing out on 10+ years of "life" by being PTS aged four. Like you say, they're not people and don't have human emotions.
It's also incredibly unhelpful to say that people who have behaviourally challenged dogs PTS are "lazy owners who can't be arsed". It's just a poor rhetoric used to make people feel guilty for no good reason. Not all dogs can be fixed and it's not always the owners fault - the last thing they need is people encouraging them to keep their dogs alive - especially when those people aren't willing to step up and actually help themselves.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 17:06
You might not be able to agree but you are wrong. Dogs are not people. Dogs do not experience things, rehabilitate from things and recover from things (or not) like humans.
Of course if they were physically suffering to the point that they would be better off dead you would put it to sleep. But you can’t put a naughty dog to sleep because you can’t be arsed to train it.
whataboutsecondbreakfast · 31/12/2022 15:57
I just can't agree with you.
Sometimes dogs are so badly bred that they don't stand a chance, no matter how much money you spend on trainers, medication, equipment, treats and muzzles.
I'd also argue that it's hugely unfair to keep some dogs alive when we can so clearly see they're suffering. If a dog was crushed in an accident, we wouldn't hesitate in having it PTS, but for some reason, mental suffering is ignored and we should just throw money at it instead, even when it's rarely in the dogs' best interests.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 15:51
Sorry I should have clarified. Dogs aren’t born bad. Different personalities, yes. But they aren’t born pre-disposed to being aggressive or nasty. Op needs to find a decent trainer and they will explain everything. Sometimes by doing what you think is the right thing you end up doing the wrong thing.
What would be really good for the dog is if husband could take her out alone and report back. It’s common for the dog- especially shepherds- to build a very strong bond with one person and their aggression is nervous/ protection because of that bond.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 17:11
Incorrect.
AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 31/12/2022 17:08
Parent temperaments are much better indicators of a dog's future temperament than any breed stereotypes.
People who take on rescues do so in the knowledge that they are taking a risk on the dog's lineage and background, and should be aware that they may have to adjust their management, training and expectations accordingly.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 16:54
Many people don’t- hence why a lot of people want rescues. They don’t care. I think people focus on parents for temperament but really they mean breed qualities.
Paq · 31/12/2022 15:38
If there's no such thing as a bad dog why do people care so much about the temperament of their parents?
Unless you have lived this you have no idea. I've seen my sister go through a very similar situation and honestly, she did everything and more for her dog before pts. Yes it's an absolute last resort but like others have said, it probably saved a very bad injury inflicted on another dog or human by hers, which was just terribly, awfully troubled.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 15:24
There’s no such thing as a bad dog. It’s 100% owners. You need to put time, effort and money into 1 to 1 training with a specialist dog trainer. You need to be 100% consistent with what you are taught. I have a 12 year old german shepherd born to a working police dog and schutzhund champion. He took so much time and effort. Until you have the aggression under control you need to consider putting her in a muzzle when she is in public and at the vets which is the safest and most responsible thing that you can do. Mine wears a muzzle for some procedures at the vets as it puts everyone at ease.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 17:10
Do the world a favour and never own a pet please. Jesus.
All the people saying “just put it to sleep”… you are the reason the rescues are full to bursting. A dog is for life. If you aren’t prepared to keep it, don’t get one. Would you give your child away if it shouted a lot? Probably would if you could but you can’t so you find a way to make it work.
Proudofitbabe · 31/12/2022 17:04
Life is too short for all this. You've engaged 6 professionals, if they don't know the answer then who would?! Can you afford to keep missing your family and isolating yourself while you try and find out? Meanwhile the dog is miserable and lashing out. I'd PTS and not think twice at this point. It's a real shame but it is what it is.
AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 31/12/2022 18:05
That's the most batshit logic I've ever heard.
The posters who would have the dog put down are precisely those who are NOT filling up shelters with their cast offs. You don't have to agree with people who would rather end a life than risk the dog suffering (or causing suffering) after "re-homing", to understand that, if a dog is euthanised, it cannot also be taking up space at a shelter.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 17:10
Do the world a favour and never own a pet please. Jesus.
All the people saying “just put it to sleep”… you are the reason the rescues are full to bursting. A dog is for life. If you aren’t prepared to keep it, don’t get one. Would you give your child away if it shouted a lot? Probably would if you could but you can’t so you find a way to make it work.
Proudofitbabe · 31/12/2022 17:04
Life is too short for all this. You've engaged 6 professionals, if they don't know the answer then who would?! Can you afford to keep missing your family and isolating yourself while you try and find out? Meanwhile the dog is miserable and lashing out. I'd PTS and not think twice at this point. It's a real shame but it is what it is.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 18:08
“Cast offs” ie dogs they can’t be bothered to train?
Killing the dog isn’t an option. You keep it or rehome it.
Absolutely disgusting attitudes towards animals in this thread.
AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 31/12/2022 18:05
That's the most batshit logic I've ever heard.
The posters who would have the dog put down are precisely those who are NOT filling up shelters with their cast offs. You don't have to agree with people who would rather end a life than risk the dog suffering (or causing suffering) after "re-homing", to understand that, if a dog is euthanised, it cannot also be taking up space at a shelter.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 17:10
Do the world a favour and never own a pet please. Jesus.
All the people saying “just put it to sleep”… you are the reason the rescues are full to bursting. A dog is for life. If you aren’t prepared to keep it, don’t get one. Would you give your child away if it shouted a lot? Probably would if you could but you can’t so you find a way to make it work.
Proudofitbabe · 31/12/2022 17:04
Life is too short for all this. You've engaged 6 professionals, if they don't know the answer then who would?! Can you afford to keep missing your family and isolating yourself while you try and find out? Meanwhile the dog is miserable and lashing out. I'd PTS and not think twice at this point. It's a real shame but it is what it is.
AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 31/12/2022 18:11
Indeed - if you re-home a dog you can't be bothered to train, it is a cast-off. And, if you choose to re-home a dog to an uncertain animal, that's an appalling lack of concern for its future. I find the pressure on the OP to re-home an aggressive, unhappy animal, rather than end its suffering to be absolutely disgusting.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 18:08
“Cast offs” ie dogs they can’t be bothered to train?
Killing the dog isn’t an option. You keep it or rehome it.
Absolutely disgusting attitudes towards animals in this thread.
AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 31/12/2022 18:05
That's the most batshit logic I've ever heard.
The posters who would have the dog put down are precisely those who are NOT filling up shelters with their cast offs. You don't have to agree with people who would rather end a life than risk the dog suffering (or causing suffering) after "re-homing", to understand that, if a dog is euthanised, it cannot also be taking up space at a shelter.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 17:10
Do the world a favour and never own a pet please. Jesus.
All the people saying “just put it to sleep”… you are the reason the rescues are full to bursting. A dog is for life. If you aren’t prepared to keep it, don’t get one. Would you give your child away if it shouted a lot? Probably would if you could but you can’t so you find a way to make it work.
Proudofitbabe · 31/12/2022 17:04
Life is too short for all this. You've engaged 6 professionals, if they don't know the answer then who would?! Can you afford to keep missing your family and isolating yourself while you try and find out? Meanwhile the dog is miserable and lashing out. I'd PTS and not think twice at this point. It's a real shame but it is what it is.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 18:08
“Cast offs” ie dogs they can’t be bothered to train?
Killing the dog isn’t an option. You keep it or rehome it.
Absolutely disgusting attitudes towards animals in this thread.
AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 31/12/2022 18:05
That's the most batshit logic I've ever heard.
The posters who would have the dog put down are precisely those who are NOT filling up shelters with their cast offs. You don't have to agree with people who would rather end a life than risk the dog suffering (or causing suffering) after "re-homing", to understand that, if a dog is euthanised, it cannot also be taking up space at a shelter.
ttcat37 · 31/12/2022 17:10
Do the world a favour and never own a pet please. Jesus.
All the people saying “just put it to sleep”… you are the reason the rescues are full to bursting. A dog is for life. If you aren’t prepared to keep it, don’t get one. Would you give your child away if it shouted a lot? Probably would if you could but you can’t so you find a way to make it work.
Proudofitbabe · 31/12/2022 17:04
Life is too short for all this. You've engaged 6 professionals, if they don't know the answer then who would?! Can you afford to keep missing your family and isolating yourself while you try and find out? Meanwhile the dog is miserable and lashing out. I'd PTS and not think twice at this point. It's a real shame but it is what it is.
KendrickLamaze · 31/12/2022 18:24
Ridiculous that people are saying not to use aversives but recommending euthanasia! This dog needs a balanced trainer and OP needs support.
Behavioural euthanasia isn't something people are suggesting in place of using aversive training, FFS. 
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