I'm not being dramatic here, but over the last few months I have come to the conclusion that my childhood trauma and subsequent releationships with men have meant I am now incapable of forming a functional relationship with another person.
In short, my home life has left me devoid of a father figure and my mother made it abundantly clear that I was not loved. I did not start forming relationships with men until my 20s, and each one was either abusive or neglectful. Yes, I have had all the therapy in the world. I know exactly what I'm worth - I have many, many talents, I am exceptional in my work life, my hobbies and I am a good mother to my children.
But my experiences and ASD make it impossible for me to recognise men or women who are good for me, or form functional long-term relationships. The people I choose are no good for me (or anyone, really) and even if I found Mr or Ms Perfect I'd probably mess it up through insecurity or frequent bouts of depression. MNetters have made it very clear that they would run from a man with depression, so why would women be any different?
So, AIBU in thinking I'll end up a mad bird lady rather than ever having that person that I am good enough for, and who is good to me?
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AIBU?
To give up on love because I'm unlovable?
8 replies
Michiru · 02/10/2022 18:43
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