Pretty much as title suggests. I have people who previously I would have referred to as my closest friends, have never come to see my baby. Since baby was born we haven't had as much support at one would have hoped.
Understandably it's our child, thus our responsibility but it's hard not to feel somewhat disappointed. I had an emergency C-section and was sent home 2days later. DH and I have been somewhat alone and figuring out ourselves since then. From giving the first baths to understanding every cry we've been pretty alone. It doesn't help that our baby is particularly fussy.
My Mum is a 30min train away but has only visited a couple times. Sister 15years older has only come couple times at 5months. I saw how much my mum supported her with her children, and I also helped out significantly-but in comparison I've been essentially left to myself.
My (ex)best friend lives 30min drive away, hasn't seen baby once.
DH has had it even worse with family/friends. His MUM works as midwife 15mins away from where we live in the same hospital baby was born. She hasn't seen baby since it was a WEEK OLD, nor has she called to check in. Not sure what her issue is, but DH doesn't have wherewithal to deal with familial dramas now he's a parent.
All DH close friends don't live far, but after 5 months, only 2/6 have seen baby -they were groomsmen at wedding a year prior. One friend, who he previously considered a best friend, literally lives a 20mins drive away (London) hasn't met baby, and keeps suggesting to meet up with the flakiest approach (e.g. taking days to respond to confirm a day).
We have tried not to be entitled because we accept it was our decision to bring a child into the world. So I guess I'm just venting here to see if "we are being unreasonable "?
Because no one has come by to support, we haven't been away from baby as a couple at 5months - only we know how to manage/settle baby. My mum came by for first time in months last week, and she didn't know how to settle baby - bearing in mind she's had 6kids and 6 grandkids! I'm her youngest child.
On top of all this, close aunties/uncles haven't come by either.
Just to be clear, I've tried to be open and honest with family that things have been difficult but it hasn't really provoked any support.
So in a nutshell, AIBU and or do I have cause for disappointment?
AIBU?
Family/Friends haven't come to see first baby after almost 5months
BabyOnBoard90 · 01/10/2022 14:43
Am I being unreasonable?
206 votes. Final results.
POLLcaringcarer · 01/10/2022 18:17
If you have said things have been difficult perhaps people are waiting for an invite and trying to keep out of your way as you have said it is difficult.
Kite22 · 01/10/2022 15:58
I haven't voted as I can't help thinking there must be some back story here like you said you wanted time alone after the birth .
Maybe you had a tense relationship previously ?
It just seems incredibly unlikely to me that no relation and no friend have visited in 5 months. Yes, anyone can have a flakey friend, or a disinterested Aunty but to suggest that no-one you know has wanted to see their new grandchild / niece or nephew / friend's baby / cousin (I know my dc couldn't wait to see their baby cousins when they arrived, even though mine are a lot older than their cousins) seems unlikely to me.
I'd like to hear this from what everyone else is saying.
Mybackteeth · 01/10/2022 15:40
Really sorry to hear you haven't been supported during this time. Support from your "village" makes all the difference in my opinion.
Have you had some kind of falling out that wasn't resolved with any of these people? Or have you been there to support others when they've had huge life events? I'm not saying you haven't bit just trying to work out why they're being like this. Or could it be that they don't like babies very much?
Either way, I would recommend getting yourself some new friends!
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