Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

I haven’t told my dad I’ve had my baby

11 replies

mimifv · 23/09/2022 19:35

I had my little girl 12 days ago 3 weeks early due to cholestastis meaning I had a sudden induction. I don’t have a relationship with my dad and he wasn’t there for me at all growing up. Theres a chance I have repressed things his done to me but who knows as it’s repressed!!
I told him I was pregnant at 24 weeks and he didn’t seem that bothered..like he asked a few questions and never asked about me or baby since. He hasn’t met my partner either!
Everyone has met my baby now..but he doesn’t even know she is here.
am I being unreasonable..part of me feels really guilty and another part of me thinks I can’t be bothered to tell him?
What do you think? What would you do?

OP posts:
Report
Please
or
to access all these features

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Authenticity2020 · 23/09/2022 20:03

Yanbu. Focus on your lovely girl.

Please
or
to access all these features

ChampagneCamping · 23/09/2022 19:45

I would probs my text him the details and leave it at that

Please
or
to access all these features

lilroo87 · 23/09/2022 19:44

Firstly, congratulations on your little girl.
Secondly, You definitely do not need to feel guilty about not telling him.
I have zero relationship with my dad. He has no idea I have a little girl who's 13months old or another baby on the way or that I've moved 300 miles away.
I used to feel guilty but then realised that he makes no effort with me unless I contact him first and then it's a real struggle to keep the relationship going and I decided it wasn't worth my time and energy when I have my own family to think about now

Please
or
to access all these features

ShaneTwane · 23/09/2022 19:41

Congratulations op. Enjoy your lovely little baby and try not to think about your dad. If he was bothered he would have contacted you by now but he hasnt. Therefore its his own doing that he doesnt know.

Please
or
to access all these features

User65412 · 23/09/2022 19:41

Yanbu. My dad is exactly the same. After my first baby, he visited once, promising to be super grandad. Never came again. This pregnancy, I've had one text since I told him. It definitely won't be a priority to tell him when baby arrives!
They never change and it's not your job to make a relationship.
Congrats on your baby 💐

Please
or
to access all these features

Loics · 23/09/2022 19:38

YANBU. My biological dad is very similar to yours, by the sound of it. He doesn't even know we had a second child. He doesn't care, I didn't bother to tell him. He hasn't made any effort to be involved with me, let alone them, in years. I don't think I would even allow him to meet my children now.

Please
or
to access all these features

SniggleSnarf · 23/09/2022 19:38

You are not being unreasonable in not telling him. You've just had a baby, focus on you and her right now. And congratulations!

Please
or
to access all these features

minticecreamisjustok · 23/09/2022 19:38

He's not checked to see how you've been doing throughout your pregnancy, you don't need to feel guilty by not telling him.

Please
or
to access all these features

FlissyPaps · 23/09/2022 19:37

YANBU OP. If he wasn’t bothered you were pregnant, he’ll not be bothered that your baby is here, sorry.

Please
or
to access all these features

35965a · 23/09/2022 19:37

Congratulations OP!
I don’t think you should feel guilty in any way. If he doesn’t make an effort with you and never has then it’s fine for you to not include him in your life. He’s done nothing to deserve it.

Please
or
to access all these features

Skelligsfeathers · 23/09/2022 19:36

If you have no relationship with him, then you have no reason to tell him.

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?