To think my new job is a huge mistake...struggling in my 50s

[Redqueenheart]

I started a new full time role with a national charity a few weeks ago and I hate it.

I now dread the idea of working like this every day for the next year or so.

To put this in context I have worked part-time for the last few years, often doing project management contracts.

The reason for taking this full-time role is because it is a remote role and I am planning to relocate to a totally different part of the country. The full time, permanent contract would else help with taking on a new mortgage or rental in the new location that I am moving to.

So from a practical point of view it made sense but I just am not enjoying it at all.

It has all the bad points of many charities: endless meetings rather than a focus on completing actual work, messy processes, crap IT and unclear expectations.

I think at 52 I am just struggling to cope with the constant demands of a full time role. I am starting to have difficulties sleeping and have a long term conditions which is aggravated by stress.

So what do I do? suck it up for a few more months until I make my move to a new location and find a job there might seem like the most reasonable solution.

My other thoughts were to try to ask whether I could switch to part-time hours (4 days a week) doing my probation meeting.

It is a shame because I really relate to the cause that the charity supports but the rest is just not for me.

Any advice? as anyone else been in the same situation?

I have already mentioned to management that the amount of meetings that I was expected to attend every day hardly left time for work delivery and that a better balance would need to be struck.

[Agapornis]

Ah that is good news - enjoy your time off, hope the new role works out!

[Oblomov22]

Pleased for you OP.

[Redqueenheart]

Thank you everyone for your good wishes and advice!

I will be starting my new part-time role soon and I am taking two weeks off to get my health and sanity back first to start afresh.

I found out that that awful workplace had not even contacted my two referees before I started the role! which is good news really as I was a bit worried about what they would think if they got another reference request so soon from another employer. No idea how an organisation like this manages to keep functioning...

[mintywinter]

Great news congratulations!

[Redqueenheart]

@Oblomov22

I got the new part-time job!!

I realised when I contacted one of my former employers that the people I just handed my notice too did not even reach out to get a reference before I started. That's how disorganised that company is...I am so glad to be leaving.

[Oblomov22]

Good luck for interview.

I really liked Calmdown suggestion:

"As you have little to lose, I would then draft an email to say you have identified a significant number of challenges requiring immediate attention, that you will be concentrating your immediate focus on these (explaining they have been neglected and the issues that could bring for reputation or stakeholder management... whatever the panic buzz words are!) And will not be attending x,y,x until the immediate crisis can be contained. "

[Redqueenheart]

Thanks again everyone for all your advice!

I managed to applied for a part-time role with a much smaller organisation and was offered the job so I gave my notice.

It was really getting beyond ridiculous with things like 10 people needing to give approval before a very basic social media post could be published, projects that had not been worked on for six months suddenly needing completion in a couple of days and so on...just not for me at all.

I am really sad that this is an animal charity because I really think the volunteers and the animals deserve better than this.

[Agapornis]

I fill my need to look after animals/nature by doing a bit of self-employed pet-sitting on the side, and doing some casual volunteering (drop-in litter picking). I agree with @YukoandHiro, try to care less. It's difficult, but no job is worth feeling so stressed.

My role was switched to fundraising because of covid - the pressure was huge, I raised lots. A big part was chasing up invoices for work done but not paid or (commercial work to subsidise charitable activities). The manager responsible for getting that money had never bothered... because he didn't feel getting the money was important. Wtf. Towards the end of 2020 I found out no one had actually looked at the charity's expenditure or where money could be save. I slowly discovered lots of financial irregularities. I reported it to the chair of trustees who unfortunately wasn't interested.

I really wish the Charity Commission was a properly funded regulator with real powers.

[YukoandHiro]

The best career advice I ever got when facing stress in a full time role (which In my industry is all the time as it involves multiple daily deadlines and outputs) is to "just give 15 per cent less of a fuck".

Only people who really truly care deeply about their work - like you - end up feeling this way. Dropping giving some fucks (buy by no means all) still means you'll be deeply committed to your role, but it gives you a bit of headspace back.

Are you working over your contracted hours? Start by reducing back to what's expected of you first.

[AlisonDonut]

@urgen

I think I know which dogs charity you are talking about. Relative had a senior role there a few years ago. It was a shocking mess and she did 18 months.

Having said that I worked as a supplier in local and central government for over 20 years. There would be riots in the street if people knew the time wasting, the endless meetings (with coffee and sandwiches) about very little. It was truly disgraceful and I am glad I am out of it!

It is endemic in this sector.

We went to one meeting, having taken time out of the one of the the two days a week we could dedicate to a specific project, and they spent the first 20 minutes just discussing which biscuits they would have at the next one.

The rest of the actual meeting was just banging on about nonsense.

[urgen]

I think I know which dogs charity you are talking about. Relative had a senior role there a few years ago. It was a shocking mess and she did 18 months.

Having said that I worked as a supplier in local and central government for over 20 years. There would be riots in the street if people knew the time wasting, the endless meetings (with coffee and sandwiches) about very little. It was truly disgraceful and I am glad I am out of it!

[Hankunamatata]

OP push back. Block out time in online dairy and say you wont be attending meetings in this time.

[AlisonDonut]

I really don't know how such big charities get themselves in that situation

I have worked for a few charities over the years.

Each one had major issues with information management, efficiencies [or the lack of them], meetings for no apparent reason, systems that didn't work and a lack of direction. If they had direction and solved the issues then they wouldn't be needed so it goes hand in hand with their own sustainability.

I'd go in and try and do stuff and exactly as you said, would be pulled here and there and it drove me crazy.

One major national industry charity refused to bid for more money to continue the most successful project they ever ran because it would indeed get rid of many people's jobs because it resolved many of the issues that they had spent 40 years trying to tackle. I left at that point.

One told me that their finances were different to other peoples [yes, money was indeed disappearing].

I found it best to stick to my job description, come up with my plan on achieving it, and reporting that I'd have to not do X and Y if they wanted me to achieve Z and this meant me attending one main meeting a week and then going off and doing my actual job.

[Redqueenheart]

Maybe this is outing but it also bothered me that the charities does not employ its own vets in the shelters and centres that it runs. It contracts out the work to private vets which to me would mean a lot of money spent on expensive fees and transporting animals back and forth.

[Redqueenheart]

@Agapornis thank you!

Yes I have seen that with many charities: good people with options leave after a year or two because they are not willing to put up with bad management and time and donated money being wasted while the ''dead wood'' stays because they would find it hard to work anywhere else.

I am such a huge animal lover that I though I had found the perfect role and it is really an awful disappointment to see what's going in their office-type roles. Although as mentioned I do still think the job done by those who care directly for the animals and the volunteers is amazing.

As usual those on the frontline do a fantastic job while the rest of the organisation is paralysed by bureaucracy and ''meetings''.

[Agapornis]

I'm not surprised it's an animal charity. I've worked for a fair few nature and animal charities, both big and small. They seem to love wasting time, and feel that working for them is a reward in itself so they don't have to treat staff well. Also lots of dead wood - sitting out their decades until retirement obstructing people who want to do better. I'm considering leaving the third sector. Hope the interview goes well!

[YeOldeTrout]

It's good sign you made right decision that you feel at peace with it.

I have had sometimes spent weeks if not months trying to access certain files, or get something very simple done. It is normal in some organisations (I'm not working a level that can make them change)

[Redqueenheart]

@justasking111 yes the third sector really can be an odd environment.

I think it is very common to have really good, committed people on the frontline and at the lower levels of the organisation but really poor quality directors, CEOS and Trustees.

[justasking111]

I walked out of a charity job once. I sat in a meeting where we had worked on an idea for months a discount card at shops if you paid £25 per annum, we'd researched other businesses and charities who did this including Costco. We presented it to the trustees one of whom was a retired solicitor who said he thought it might be illegal. The old duffer was 80 with early signs of dementia. The other trustees clucked like hens and threw it out. I walked out of the meeting with my colleague we both wrote out a letter of resignation to the head of department and walked out. The head walked out a few months later. These trustees were as thick as mince but the CEO liked that about them 🙄

[Redqueenheart]

@Crikeyalmighty

Indeed. I had an an induction today with someone who does similar work to mine and she was candid about the fact that there are major issues with lack of planning and disorganisation across the board, not just in my department.

So at least now I know it is not just my perception of the organisation.

I really don't know how such big charities get themselves in that situation.

I am going to push back from now on and just say that I first need to put in place new processes and better planning to streamline things for me to be able to make any valuable contribution (while I am job hunting to get out as fast as I can.....).

Thanks everyone for providing me with feedback and a place to rant!

[Crikeyalmighty]

@Redqueenheart yes in that situation I get your point. You can't deliver if it's non stop meetings

[Redqueenheart]

Update: I have been offered an interview for another job next week!! :) this one is part-time and remote. Fingers crossed...

[Redqueenheart]

@jellybeanteaparty I only found out after I joined that the charity had recently merged departments and that quite a few people had left which I think has added to the internal turmoil.

''if you can't face committing to a year'' I know I can't. It feels me with dread! I actually slept OK last night finally because I now know it is not the right job and can start to plan my exit which I think says it all.

@mintywinter ''I recently had a similar situation and was so relieved when I quit. Your health is the most important thing''. That's my thinking too. I had to spend so much time in hospital and have various operations in the past 5 years. It changes your thinking a lot to go through a health crisis and you realise a job is just a job and you can always find a new one, but you only have one body and one life.

[Redqueenheart]

@HelloCello I am sorry to hear you have the same issues. It is so draining. I dreaded turning my computer on this morning to see yet more random emails. I hope you find something better soon

[jellybeanteaparty]

I work for a charity in what sounds a similar role. In the last five years vast improvements have been made so although I chuckled regarding number of meetings, IT and timescale expectation we are now thankfully no longer in that place (mostly!).
Is condensed hrs an option for you (5 days hours over 4) I think you a right to either plan an exit asap or commit to a year - if you can't face committing to a year then that gives you your answer. If you stay untill you pass your probationary you can then have a "this job isn't the right fit for" conversation.