To wish I hadn’t got a dog

[Ihatemydogbmnamechange]

Before people say what a horrible arsehole I am, I didn’t want a dog but gave in to years and years of pressure from everyone else in my family and now I am stuck with a dog who is ruining my life. still a puppy but is showing some possessiveness around food and I wish with all my heart I had never got him. My daughters are so happy my wife is happy but the dog can be awful to them too.

i hate everything about having a dog.

when is it ever going to get better z

ive sat and cried tonight becssue i wish I could go back in time

[BrieAndChilli]

I don’t restrict myself to dog friendly places I and the kids still do that but it means DH can’t come at the same time. We also can’t go and stay with MIL like we used to as she also has a reactive rescue dog so the 2 wouldn’t mix well!!

things like dog walkers and sitters are expensive so would add to the cost of the day. the dog went to kennels when DH went on holiday recently and he destroyed 2 of the dog beds so we had to pay £50 to replace those.

[TheChippendenSpook]

Hopefully things have improved three months on.

[AffIt]

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps

Agree @BooseysMom Sadly, although we always had a family dog when I was growing up and I loved them very much, I could NOT be fucked with them now. Your house always stinks, (yes it really does!) you never have a clean home, you're tied to them, you have no spontaneity, they cost 1000s of £££ in vet fees (sometimes 5-figure fees,) they yap yap yap, bark, bark, bark incessantly some days, they demand attention all the time... Also, you have to walk them - I see the 3 women in my cul-de-sac with them and they go out to walk the dog at 7am-7.30am every day. AND they're out 8 and 9 at night, no matter what the weather is like. Could NOT be arsed with that.

Plus all that bloody dog hair, AND they regularly jump up strangers. I went to someone's house a few months ago, and they had seven dogs. Fucking SEVEN. All different shapes and sizes...Their garden was small, and there was nowhere close for them to run free. They hardly ever take them all for walks, they just let them run around the house and small garden. And they ALWAYS jump up you when you go to the house and run around like the Tasmanian Devil. Because they have so much energy, because they are rarely walked far.

Cats for me only. Soooo easy to look after, and so chilled. And even then, after 25 years of having them, when our last one (aged 15 now) has died, we won't have any more. As easy to look after as cats are, they are still a bit of a tie and an expense. Nowhere NEAR as much as dogs though!

SO many people have become dog owners this past decade, who are not fit to look after a fucking goldfish. They're right up there with MALMILS/lycra clad cyclists, and people who drive 4 wheel drive German cars.

Me too!

I grew up with dogs (my family bred and trained working Labs and spaniels) and, while I still love dogs and enjoy spending time with them, I am very much a cat person as an adult and have no desire to own a dog.

I do, however, continue to care very much about dog welfare and find posts like these, where the OP has clearly done no research into owning a dog, deeply frustrating.

[CristinaNov182]

@BrieAndChilli thank you, your post convinced me to never get a dog. I also thought when the kids are older will get one. You should find a solution to be able to still go out without the dog, it’s too much to restrict your life to dog friendly places only. Is there no family or even a dog center or dog walker to take it too? I’ve seen on FB lots of dog minders and they do flexible hours.

we have a cat and it’s so easy, just clean the litter bucket once a week, flush her poo daily, feed her and have a cat sitter or take her to family while on holiday. Easy. And enjoy cuddles every evening. Think Weill stick with that.

[BrieAndChilli]

i am in your position, my husband and kids wanted a dog for years and even though i do not like dogs, am not a pet person at all i relented and agreed on the provisio that i was not goiing to be lumbered with the care of the dog.

I hate having a dog. I wont say I hate the dog as he is a living creature and of course i wish no harm to him but

I hate

• The fact that we can no longer go out for the day unless it is dog friendly so no day out shopping, no theme parks, no last minute trips to london, no museums or festivals etc etc.
• The fact that the house always smells of dog
• the hair that infests every single square inch of the house, even upstairs where the dog has never gone. Clean washing comes out the machine with hair on it.
• constant noise of claws clip clapping on the floor or gnawing on a bone
• cant sit with wine classes or snacks on the coffee table as they will get knocked over or licked or eaten
• cant leave anything in the lounge without the risk of it being destroyed
• dog poo all over the garden
• constant noise of people saying no, leave, sit , stay all the bloody time
• cant invite peopple round for drinks etc as the dog would just be bounding all over the place
• the glass doors and windows constantly covered in slobber and marks
• mud marks everywhere
• the constant fear that he might go for someone at any time as dogs are essentially unpredicatable
• the fact that any walk (and only DH can walk him as he is strong and reactive) is just a stress of tryinig to control him and avoiding the judgement from other people

unfortunately he is now here and i couldnt in all conscience send him back to the rescue home. We have had him for 10 months and he is now 18 months and although he is lots better than when we first got him alot of the above things will never change as they are just part of having a dog.

I cope by hiding away upstairs alot of the time as it is too much of an assualt on my senses to spend too much time in the lounge. I find late evening the best time as he has calmed down a lot by then and DH is around to control him. Day times i tend to watch stuff on my ipad in bed rather than sit in the lounge.

[CristinaNov182]

It will get better when your puppy grows into a dog… just as with children

in the meantime suck it up, read how to train him/her now so you get a well behaved dog in the future. Even without training the dog will lose most of the energy they have now.

But as you have kids take all of them to park as much as possible and have them run and play with the dog till they’re exhausted. All of them will sleep better for it.

[KarmaStar]

Ok ,think this through.the poor dog was dumped probably due to the very problems you are finding.there are many unscrupulous idiots breeding freely for profit not giving a slightest damn about the dogs welfare.the French bulldog is one such over need dog.
Have you had her thoroughly checked out by your vet?
If not please do so.
Then go back to basics with training,I know you didn't want to but for your children's sake,please give it a try.After every meal or drink,when she wakes up,when she is sniffing the floor and circling,lift her outside and put her in the designated toilet area and say wee wee or whatever.the very second she performs praise her heartily good girl for wee wee so she knows she was good to do so.ignore all indoor toileting.I always got up at 2/3am and took a pup out for a wee.(It's no fun I know but very much worth it).
You have to watch her all the time whilst training,it's exhausting but if you put the hard work in she will very soon learn.
try to bond with her,begin basic training for commands if you can,some breeds don't take much to training.😀always,always reward within two seconds of good behaviour.
you can do this.
also consider a dog behavioural consultant they are excellent to give you confidence.
never punish a dog.
Good luck 🌈🐕🐾🐾

[BooseysMom]

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps

Agree @BooseysMom Sadly, although we always had a family dog when I was growing up and I loved them very much, I could NOT be fucked with them now. Your house always stinks, (yes it really does!) you never have a clean home, you're tied to them, you have no spontaneity, they cost 1000s of £££ in vet fees (sometimes 5-figure fees,) they yap yap yap, bark, bark, bark incessantly some days, they demand attention all the time... Also, you have to walk them - I see the 3 women in my cul-de-sac with them and they go out to walk the dog at 7am-7.30am every day. AND they're out 8 and 9 at night, no matter what the weather is like. Could NOT be arsed with that.

Plus all that bloody dog hair, AND they regularly jump up strangers. I went to someone's house a few months ago, and they had seven dogs. Fucking SEVEN. All different shapes and sizes...Their garden was small, and there was nowhere close for them to run free. They hardly ever take them all for walks, they just let them run around the house and small garden. And they ALWAYS jump up you when you go to the house and run around like the Tasmanian Devil. Because they have so much energy, because they are rarely walked far.

Cats for me only. Soooo easy to look after, and so chilled. And even then, after 25 years of having them, when our last one (aged 15 now) has died, we won't have any more. As easy to look after as cats are, they are still a bit of a tie and an expense. Nowhere NEAR as much as dogs though!

SO many people have become dog owners this past decade, who are not fit to look after a fucking goldfish. They're right up there with MALMILS/lycra clad cyclists, and people who drive 4 wheel drive German cars.

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps Thank-you for posting in agreement with my comments. It's funny how you change when you grow up. We had about 7 dogs when I was growing up. Dogs are pack animals and my DM took the role of pack leader. They were rigorously trained but much loved. They were my best friends. Now it's like I'm a totally different person. The smell really offends me, the cost is way above what I'm willing to pay. I mean when I was a kid growing up on a farm, we would go and choose a pup from a neighbouring farm and it was only £20..those days are long gone. I do worry that DS will never have the sort of bond and friendship I had with my dogs though. I suppose it makes me feel better when I think of the negatives.

[WittyCoolUsername]

My husband really regretted getting our dog. She chewed everything, took ages to toilet train and was an all around pain in the arse idiot. She's nearly 2 and is (mostly) lovely now. Pups are hard work. They're a bit like kids.

[WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps]

Agree @BooseysMom Sadly, although we always had a family dog when I was growing up and I loved them very much, I could NOT be fucked with them now. Your house always stinks, (yes it really does!) you never have a clean home, you're tied to them, you have no spontaneity, they cost 1000s of £££ in vet fees (sometimes 5-figure fees,) they yap yap yap, bark, bark, bark incessantly some days, they demand attention all the time... Also, you have to walk them - I see the 3 women in my cul-de-sac with them and they go out to walk the dog at 7am-7.30am every day. AND they're out 8 and 9 at night, no matter what the weather is like. Could NOT be arsed with that.

Plus all that bloody dog hair, AND they regularly jump up strangers. I went to someone's house a few months ago, and they had seven dogs. Fucking SEVEN. All different shapes and sizes...Their garden was small, and there was nowhere close for them to run free. They hardly ever take them all for walks, they just let them run around the house and small garden. And they ALWAYS jump up you when you go to the house and run around like the Tasmanian Devil. Because they have so much energy, because they are rarely walked far.

Cats for me only. Soooo easy to look after, and so chilled. And even then, after 25 years of having them, when our last one (aged 15 now) has died, we won't have any more. As easy to look after as cats are, they are still a bit of a tie and an expense. Nowhere NEAR as much as dogs though!

SO many people have become dog owners this past decade, who are not fit to look after a fucking goldfish. They're right up there with MALMILS/lycra clad cyclists, and people who drive 4 wheel drive German cars.

[WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps]

YANBU @Ihatemydogbmnamechange You need to get your dog rehomed. You will never get to like them. Not the dog's fault, but he will ruin your life.

[WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps]

YANBU.

[YouSirNeighMmmm]

@Ihatemydogbmnamechange

to answer some questions.

1. everybody does their bit
2. i walk the dog at least once a day for at least twenty minutes but normally between half an hour and an hour
3. i can feed the dog it’s food one piece at a time and it will sit patiently
4. i know I can rehome it but I said yes and I have made my bed and I have to lie in it
5. the dog is very good in a lot of ways
6. the dog is very large but a very gentle breed
7. se have had a dog trainer
8. I am due on my period so it’s possible I’m having a bit of an emotional reaction to it’s behaviour
9. the dog is only possessive around it’s food and toys in some circumstances and we are trying to work on thie
10. i have spent hours training rhe dog
11. i do not like dogs in general but I agreed because everyone else did. If I had said no we would not have one. I have no one to blam e but myself
12. i need

Well, if you were in any way pressured then you can share the blame. Also, blaming yourself for not looking where you were going and crashing the car - fair. Blaming yourself for trying to make a compromise to make your family happy - not fair.

Obviously in an ideal world a dog is just like any other pet, "for life". But, I'm sorry, 15% of your life is worth more than this dog's life. If you are able to step back and have little to do with the animal apart from small things you are OK with then try to keep it. But do not feel guilty if you have to say "sorry, life is too short for a decade of misery. I made a mistake and should never have said yes".

For what it's worth I do not like dogs, though of course many have great owners, great training and can be wonderful pet for the right person. I genuinely don't think that I could live in a house with a dog and I would feel resentful if I had to fill a water bowl for it once a week let alone do more.

[EbbyEbs]

What breed is it?
What breed is it?
what breed is it?

[Icanstillrecallourlastsummer]

Get professional help with the possessiveness ASAP. That's not something you want to develop into anything else. Especially with children.

I felt as you did with our first dog - he had possessiveness around food, took forever to get house trained and was a general nightmare as puppy. I regretted him a lot (like you I hadn't been keen, but given into pressure from the rest of the famil). Once he hit a year, with consistent trianing, he was much better and when he was run over I was gutted. We got another puppy as we missed him so much, and it has been great this time around.

Either try shift your attitude towards your dog (through training, bonding, enjoying the benefits of a dog etc) or rehome.

[HairyMothballs]

I feel very sorry for the dog. You've got -
a partner
kids
friend
family
work
social life
hobbies
freedom to come and go

Your dog has got you and your household members.
Please surrender the dog to a shelter/rescue place/a dog LOVER with experience/dog trainer.

[BooseysMom]

@mydogisthebest

You know so little about dogs it is laughable.

Not all dogs smell. Ignorant people insist they do but some breeds just don't. Lots of dogs don't bark very much if at all. I have 2 dogs and they only bark if someone is at the door or when someone decides they can walk into our back garden. That is what I want them to do.

One of my dogs has never ever chewed a thing. We got him at 9 weeks and he is now 10. The other dog did chew but we trained him not to (didn't take long).

Yes they poo and wee but they were both toilet trained within a week which is certainly a lot quicker than any child.

Children are far more bother than dogs. They take forever to toilet train, likely to have tons of accidents on the floor, destroy many things, draw on walls, have tantrums etc etc. As they grow they get worse and worse unlike dogs.

My dogs don't argue with me, they don't strop around the house, I don't have to worry about them getting pregnant, smoking, taking drugs.

You know so little about dogs it is laughable.
Thanks for that really unnecessary statement. I actually know alot about dogs as I grew up on a farm where my mum raised and trained working collies. The neighbour's dogs are not trained. My mum's dogs NEVER jumped up at people.

By what you are saying, I take it you don't have kids and your dogs are your replacement for them?

[BooseysMom]

@Furries

Completely get where you’re coming from. But there are breeds that have low propensity for barking. And you train them to wee and poo outside!

And it’s fairly simple to train dogs NOT to jump up at people.

Vet trips shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Insurance isn’t too expensive.

Try telling that to our neighbours!! They're the ones who have the dogs!

[mydogisthebest]

@BooseysMom

Exactly why I haven't caved in and joined the masses. I'm not having our home stinking, endless barking, chewing, pooing, weeing, jumping up at people ..and all that after paying over a grand for the privilege.. and that's before any trips to the vet.

The neighbours are dog sitters. The barking really grates at our nerves.. DH works from home so it's worse for him. Their home stinks and the dogs are untrained, boisterous yobs that jump up at people and they appear to think that’s perfectly normal.

You know so little about dogs it is laughable.

Not all dogs smell. Ignorant people insist they do but some breeds just don't. Lots of dogs don't bark very much if at all. I have 2 dogs and they only bark if someone is at the door or when someone decides they can walk into our back garden. That is what I want them to do.

One of my dogs has never ever chewed a thing. We got him at 9 weeks and he is now 10. The other dog did chew but we trained him not to (didn't take long).

Yes they poo and wee but they were both toilet trained within a week which is certainly a lot quicker than any child.

Children are far more bother than dogs. They take forever to toilet train, likely to have tons of accidents on the floor, destroy many things, draw on walls, have tantrums etc etc. As they grow they get worse and worse unlike dogs.

My dogs don't argue with me, they don't strop around the house, I don't have to worry about them getting pregnant, smoking, taking drugs.

[Ivyy]

Op it might be worth posting in the Doghouse rather than aibu? Aibu always seems to attract some troll like behaviour and some replies that are unhelpful, needlessly savage and pointless. On the other hand, if you can ignore those responses you've got some good advice on this thread and some of us who do understand and have been through the same things. Agree with pp that the puppy blues can be a real thing, plus dogs generally are constant hard work in the first year to 18 months / 2 years. The puppy stage is hard but we found the teenage stage harder tbh, depends on each dog. It's a huge change to the family getting a dog and I've heard plenty of people liken it to having a new baby. There are some really helpful groups on Facebook for training and support, breed specific ones too, you definitely won't get comments that are totally unhelpful and unpleasant on there either! Some really good advice on this thread as well though, shame there's not a filter! Best of luck op

[CherryGenoa]

I like dogs but wouldn’t dream of getting one personally as they are a pain in the arse and a tie so I can relate.

[CherryGenoa]

Ok so it sounds as though you could have said no but gave in to the others in your house (understandable, so no criticism there). You need strategies to be able to live with it. Given how you feel, Can they pick up more of the care?

please talk with the rest of the family to come up with a strategy. It sounds as though you are already doing some of the right things and just need to keep going until the dog is a little older and more settled. If you can afford to get a dog behaviourist on board they may have strategies you can use to speed things up.

[Perpop]

Find a positive reinforcement trainer to work 1:1 with the whole family and make it fun for all of you & the dog

[EmeraldShamrock1]

I hated the early months too, shedding hair, strong smell, not toilet trained, ripping up everything, needed lots of attention.

I nearly lost my mind, 12 months later and we're all very happy with our dog.

[EbbyEbs]

Why do people on these threads always refuse to say what breed the cunting thing is??

You can have 20 posters asking what breed and the OP will say “it’s a large breed”

Why not just say??? A large breed could be a golden retriever or a bull mastiff!!

Makes me so angry, why does it need to be such a secret?!

OP - it’s a puppy. Food possessive behaviour should have been worked on from day 1. It’s one of the easiest things to prevent.