AIBU?
3yr old still has dummy at night? AIBU
EllieMummy5 · 11/09/2022 21:41
Just got off holiday with our family and not sure if I am being unreasonable. DD turned 3 last month still has a dummy at night time. We were going out in the evening and DD was in the pushchair and was super tired and wouldn't settle, so I gave her the dummy and my sister thought it was outrageous that she was 3 and still had a dummy. AIBU?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
autienotnaughty · 11/09/2022 21:45
No judgment here but it's generally considered bad for teeth so advice is to get rid as young as poss. You cud go down dummy fairy route? Saying that I sucked my thumb well into childhood and my teeth are fine.
Oaktree1952 · 11/09/2022 21:47
I have three daughters. Dd1 had a dummy until she was 4 1/2yo and now she doesn't suck anything. Dd2 had a dummy until 4 1/2yo, she gave it up for about a week and then started sucking her thumb. She is 6 and still sucks her thumb and I have no idea how to stop her. Dd3 is 3 1/2yo and still has a dummy. We are stopping it throughout the day but she keeps trying to suck her thumb so I will not be stoping her at night until she stops herself.
I think if sucking a dummy helps her sleep what's the harm. She will suck that a lot less than a thumb and so do less damage to her teeth
PalePurplePumpkin · 11/09/2022 21:47
'Outrageous' is a silly word to use about it.
It's not good for your DD's teeth though but you'll know that.
pickledpotato · 11/09/2022 21:48
Well YABU
Most people would be shocked seeing a 3 year old with a dummy
Because usually parents want what's best for their kids health and dentistry
MrsNobodyMM · 11/09/2022 21:49
The ones available now are orthodontic and much less bad for teeth than back in the day - that's why older generations generally find them "outrageous" in a way that is disproportionate.
I wouldn't remove a dummy that a child really wanted it will only be replaced by a thumb which is much worse for teeth and not as clean. If it's just at nighttime let them use it until they grow out of it which they will.
Aldith · 11/09/2022 21:49
It is bad for teeth. My nieces all gave theirs to the dummy fairy around 15-16 months old. They didn’t ask for them after that. I have no children though and only comment on what I’ve seen and been told by my siblings and what I learned training as a nursery nurse.
EllieMummy5 · 11/09/2022 21:50
We have had nothing from the dentist about any teeth damage and I know it might shock some people, maybe I took it a bit to heart.
Flev · 11/09/2022 21:50
DD had hers for naps only until after her 3rd birthday, but we explained after she bit through most of them that we couldn't get any more because you could only buy them for babies. Then we flirted the idea of scooters only being for big girls, as we knew she really wanted a scooter. We were gearing up to suggesting a swap (last dummy for scooter) when she greeted us after one nap by handing us her final bitten through dummy and informing us that her dummy was broken, no more dummies as she was a big girl so she could have a scooter now. Job done, no stress and I'm so glad we didn't try to push her into it earlier than she was ready to give them up.
RewildingAmbridge · 11/09/2022 21:51
I'd be surprised to see a child of that age with a dummy, but it's dummies at all are not the norm for me, I didn't have a dummy (same for DB), nor did DS. I thought the advice was to get rid before 12 months if you're going to use one? I wouldn't have said anything though. You make the choices for your child and in the grand scheme of things she's unlikely to still need a dummy as an adult!
avamiah · 11/09/2022 21:52
My daughter had a dummy at 3 for bed and she is 13 soon and has lovely teeth but she has had regular dental appointments.
Simonjt · 11/09/2022 21:52
Lots of three year olds sometimes use a dummy, my seven year sometimes uses one if he is feeling unwell or upset, we all find ways to soothe ourselves, be it a blanket, dummy, thumbsucking, a cuddly toy etc.
SherbetDips · 11/09/2022 21:53
Have you told the dentist she has one? I can assure you the dentist will have lots to say.
EllieMummy5 · 11/09/2022 21:54
SherbetDips · 11/09/2022 21:53
Have you told the dentist she has one? I can assure you the dentist will have lots to say.
She has regular dentist appointments and it's never been mentioned.
YellowTreeHouse · 11/09/2022 21:55
The dummy should have been got rid of when she turned 1.
It’s not good for their speech and language development nor is it any good for their teeth or the way they use and place their lips and jaw.
sawwshaa · 11/09/2022 21:56
3 isn't outrageous IMO. 4YO, however, I would think get rid.
pickledpotato · 11/09/2022 21:56
EllieMummy5 · 11/09/2022 21:50
We have had nothing from the dentist about any teeth damage and I know it might shock some people, maybe I took it a bit to heart.
Do you actually not understand the issues with dummy usage after 12 months
It's bad for teeth, jaw structure, speech and language development to name but a few
No wonder you were judged
Flev · 11/09/2022 21:57
SherbetDips · 11/09/2022 21:53
Have you told the dentist she has one? I can assure you the dentist will have lots to say.
Our dentist was not keen at all, but as an ex-thumb sucker myself until the age of 9 who then needed braces I figured I'd rather she had the dummy for an extra few months than suck her thumb for years - you can't remove their thumb as my parents found out.
mrsfollowill · 11/09/2022 21:57
DS was 4 when he gave his up- he only had it for naps and at night from being maybe 8 months ish - wasn't bothered in the day at all but for sleeping no chance. My sister brought his newborn cousin around to meet him when he was 4 and look on his face when he saw the baby with a dummy.
He was most indignant- 'what is THAT in his mouth- why has he got a dummy?!!'
He chucked all his in the bin that day himself and never spoke of it again. 
His teeth are fine BTW always used the orthodontic ones.
pickledpotato · 11/09/2022 21:58
@Flev
There are sprays for thumb suckers that are quite effective!
ShirleyPhallus · 11/09/2022 21:58
YellowTreeHouse · 11/09/2022 21:55
The dummy should have been got rid of when she turned 1.
It’s not good for their speech and language development nor is it any good for their teeth or the way they use and place their lips and jaw.
The few children I know who still use dummies as toddlers have significantly delayed speech compared to their non-dummy using friends but I’m not sure if that’s a coincidence or a cause
Heatherbell1978 · 11/09/2022 21:58
My kids were both 3.5 when I got rid of the dummy. Teeth are absolutely fine and it's one of those things that people are so judgey and shocked about at the time and in a few years time you'll barely remember they had dummies, and no one around you will care as something else will be shocking to them like what your kids are playing on their tablets.
My mantra was always that they won't go to school with dummies and they didn't. They did only have them for sleep by the time they were 3 though.
Luxembourgmama · 11/09/2022 21:58
If its just at night it's fine. I was told its bad for speech well mine has one at almost 3 and speaks 3 languages perfectly. Its not ideal but in the general scheme of things dont worry.
Darbs76 · 11/09/2022 21:59
I got rid of my daughters at 3 as it was starting to affect the shape of her teeth. Thankfully that was corrected within a few months but I think 3 is around the max age really. I had one until I started school apparently!
Flev · 11/09/2022 21:59
pickledpotato · 11/09/2022 21:58
@Flev
There are sprays for thumb suckers that are quite effective!
They tried that and many other things. I just put up with the horrendous taste until I'd sucked it all off! Hopefully I was just an extreme case though!
EllieMummy5 · 11/09/2022 22:00
I know it's not ideal and something we will get rid of soon, but she has no speech issues and is developing fine so I don't see the issues at night time or when she is distressed if it calms her down.
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