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Extended family ruined my life.
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Mooshamoo · 06/08/2022 15:06

How many of you on here are close to your extended families. (Aunts, uncles, cousins). I don't know if I have a particularly bad family, but I feel that the people that have been the nastiest and cruellest to me in my life, have been my extended family. On both sides, my mother's and father's. Its like being around people that hate me and want me to fail in life

On my mother's side, she has two sisters. My mother is a good bit older than them. Her two sisters are closer with each other, then with my mother and are often nasty to my mother and often leave my mother out.

Then when my two aunties and my mother had children, we would all meet up in a group, and my two aunties would do the same to me.

They would treat each other's children brilliantly, and leave me out. I remember as a little girl always feeling left out. I feel that they enjoyed making their children feel better, by putting me down and treating me badly. I grew up always knowing that my cousin Anne was worth more than I was. There was no argument. At every meeting, every dinner, Anne was treated like a princess and I was treated like shit. I grew up constantly hearing that I was worth less than my cousins, that they were worth more than me. It really affected my self esteem.

I am looking at one of my cousins now, she has had the support of my aunt all of her life, my aunt goes to support her and visit her all the time. My aunt has spoken to me about twice in ten years, and she is rude to me when she sees me.

Then on my fathers side, they are even worse. My parents are divorced, so I live a good bit away from my fathers side of the family. I have visited them several times over the years. If I am ever doing well in my life, they are really jealous and unhappy. They dont like me to be succeeding in life. They like me to be failing.

For example, at one time in my life I had a good job, I went to visit my cousin on that side of the family. At that time, she happened to be a single mother on benefits. I would never say anything to anyone about their life. I dont care what anyone is doing. However, she was extremely jealous that I was doing well. She was very aggressive with me, she was screaming and shouting at me, losing her temper with me, and called me names, and was really nasty and aggressive to me, culminating in her shouting at me to "get out of her house". Even though she had invited me there. Ive noticed that any time I am doing well in life, and she is not - she is horrible to me. She doesnt like me to succed. She likes to knock me down. I didnt visit her again for many many years after this, until I had to after my dad died, years later.

Then, my dad died a couple of years ago and left me some money. I went to see my uncle (this same cousins father) as I had to, to sort some things about my dad out.
I was very upset about my dads death. My uncle never offered any sympathy or kindness to me. He just said ,"oh i suppose you are living a life of luxury" angrily, as my dad had left me some money. My uncle was seething with jealousy. On this occasion he also called me ugly, and as he had been so nasty to me on this occasion right after my dad died, I vowed never to see him again, and I never have.

What is family. I feel like family have just been people in my life that have abused me. They definitely have never been like a family. I have never had one aunt or uncle that was kind to me. I dont know if Ive been particularly unlucky with family. Do you get along with your extended family?

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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