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Brother-in-law/family have named their dog with my name
142

Raul57 · 25/07/2022 11:45

My OH's brother and I get on but more recently no the case. We used to argue over anything and everything and take the Mick but this was often restricted to when it was only our family their family is there ie my OH and children and the same for him.


BiL retired early at 50 about a year ago and his son and his wife that live in the same house decided to get a dog. This was about a month ago. They've named the dog the same name as mine and I found it very insulting. My OH said they have always loved my name and this is why they have done. When we met last week at a wedding I said to them they could have picked another name out of the millions, they just smiled and said it was a lovely name. They all had smirks on their faces. My children lol initially but they get it and told me to ignore it.
My OH is saying I've always been too 'sensitive' and a 'hypocrite.' EG, I often take the p out of the BiL and his wife but as I said only when the two families are alone

I'm seriously embarrassed, hurt and fear others finding out about this and mocking me.

AIBU?

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 25/07/2022 11:49

Sounds like a fairly long standing immature dynamic on both sides. Lots of mutual piss taking and arguing over a long period will inevitably lead to one side taking it too far. Maybe somewhere along the line you’ve offended them with your words too? Time to take a step back and get some distance I think. Reset the tone of the relationship

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Aquamarine1029 · 25/07/2022 11:55

They gave the dog your name. So what? You don't own it and there's not a thing you can do about it so just let it go.

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JenniferBarkley · 25/07/2022 11:55

YANBU I would find that insulting. The smirking suggests they're looking for a reaction though so probably best to ignore and take the high road.

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Ohahjustalittlebit · 25/07/2022 11:58

Horrible fuckers. I would also be insulted.

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phishy · 25/07/2022 12:00

YANBU, they sound like utter cunts smirking about it.

Don't invite them round again and don't go to theirs again.

And if you do see, call the dog BIL's name.

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Tired2tired · 25/07/2022 12:02

Meh, it's a name who cares if anyone else finds out. Let it go.
Smirking etc not great but you've had a relationship of "taking the piss" out of each other for years so when you play with fire sometimes you're going to get burnt.

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KangarooKenny · 25/07/2022 12:03

Id suggest you go NC with them.

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HJ40 · 25/07/2022 12:06

Well they've done it for a reaction which you've given them by asking them about it, but they're the ones who are now stuck have to use your name multiple times per day.

It sounds like you all need to grow up.

And I feel very sorry for the dog.

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Patchworkbuttons · 25/07/2022 12:06

It’s a poor reflection on them not you.

My DH has an animal named after him. The children (who had never met DH) of a couple he worked with chose the name - both first and last name! The woman was a little obsessed with DH and clearly he often came up into conversation at home! Some people are very weird!

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Champagneforeveryone · 25/07/2022 12:07

I take the naming of my dogs as seriously as the naming of my child. I have to live with the name for the next (hopefully) 10-14 years so I cannot imagine using a name I didn't love just to piss somebody off.

I get it's annoying but there's nothing you can do <shrug>

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Raul57 · 25/07/2022 12:14

phishy · 25/07/2022 12:00

YANBU, they sound like utter cunts smirking about it.

Don't invite them round again and don't go to theirs again.

And if you do see, call the dog BIL's name.

Thanks, I've been tempted but it may just cause more friction.
When I said they were smirking my OH disagreed.
To add insult to injury I hate that dog as it's one of those little yappy ones that constantly bark at people and I think they are teaching it to bark at me.
We would not et the dog into our house and I've only been once to their home since they had the dog and refused to go since but not told them.

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Tangelablue · 25/07/2022 12:14

Get some pet rats and name them after you BIL and SIL.

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Aquamarine1029 · 25/07/2022 12:16

Everything about your relationship with these people sounds toxic and ridiculous. From both sides, honestly. You'd be smart to cut each other out of your lives.

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ShaneTwane · 25/07/2022 12:17

Am I the only one who would be flattered? 😂

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WhackingPhoenix · 25/07/2022 12:18

Why would you feel insulted? Confused

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abigailsnan · 25/07/2022 12:18

I would just shrug it off if I where you so many dogs & cats have "human" type names my little dashund is a Henry and my cat is an Oliver all popular names for pets now,when my youngest son was born we named him after the most popular name for dogs on the crufts lists for that year without realising it.

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WhackingPhoenix · 25/07/2022 12:18

Posted too soon.

Obviously they like the name, or they wouldn’t have used it for a new member of their family they’re likely to have for 12-15 years! You don’t own the name.

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MooseBreath · 25/07/2022 12:20

To be honest, based on your update I think you're taking it way too personally. Training their yappy dog to bark at you when you've only been to their house once since they got the dog? That's ridiculous.

While it might be a bit of an eyeroll that they named the dog the same name as you, how common is the name? It is possible that they just like it. And as for smirking, I'd smirk too if someone blew something so wildly out of proportion.

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goldierocks · 25/07/2022 12:21

OP - as a complete stranger, if I heard about this I would raise an eyebrow at your BIL/the people who named the dog. It would not enter my head (or I think the heads of the vast majority of people) to mock you for their decision, regardless of why they made it.

But - don't dish it out if you can't take it. You said you've "taken the p" when both families have been alone. Perhaps one of your comments hurt more than you realised and this is their retaliation.

The more you show it bothers you, the greater their pleasure will be. Don't react.

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Coffeeenema · 25/07/2022 12:22

HJ40 · 25/07/2022 12:06

Well they've done it for a reaction which you've given them by asking them about it, but they're the ones who are now stuck have to use your name multiple times per day.

It sounds like you all need to grow up.

And I feel very sorry for the dog.

You feel sorry for the dog for what reason?!

Such an unnecessary comment.

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WhenISnappedAndFarted · 25/07/2022 12:22

I don't get why it's a big deal.

People don't name their dogs with names they hate, it's names they like and dogs are very much (in most cases) loved and part of the family.

I've never understood why people get so upset about it.

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SolasAnla · 25/07/2022 12:22

Your husband is a idiot.
He knows that his brother is being a prick.

You may also be a prick about his family when you should not have been. But if his brother and family are going to cross a social boundary your husband should support you.

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Georgeskitchen · 25/07/2022 12:22

I would go NC. I feel sorry for the dog, not because it has your name, but because it's owners sound, quite frankly, like arseholes

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EinsteinaGogo · 25/07/2022 12:22

I can't believe that anyone thinks giving a dog the same name as a family member you see regularly is ok 🙈

For gods sake... there are millions of names in the world. Clearly naming it after the OP is weird and designed to cause some sort of reaction.

You're not unreasonable OP.
It's not a honour and they are complete twats.

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Raul57 · 25/07/2022 12:23

Thanks to all. Every post here I can agree to and feel like slapping him and my OH for not supporting me. It is insulting and embarrassing.

I was looking at adopting a pig online and naming that pig my BiL's name but had second thoughts about it as this will make the situation worse.

Things had got worse since his mother passed away as she was a very fair lady and IMO always got it right when one or both of us went too far and she'd rebuke the right person.

They've always been snobs and IMO look down at us and my OH disagrees
and our children say just ignore them but we attend the same venues/parties/weddings/etc. Also he is the brother of my OH and our behaviour is causing a rift.

As I type I'm getting angry and hoping the dog poo's all over their new sofa suit
that is made from fabric and not leather and won't be easy to clean as it's white. They keep a very clean house like us and I know that will hurt them, I hope.

I may just decide to call the dog my BiL's as suggested here and insist the dog reminds me of him and will say, 'he's a charming little dog' as BiL is all of 5 foot 5 inches.😂

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