8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

[keepsane]

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

[Sunshine10012]

It’s normal lighten up or you’ll be in for a shock when she turns into a teenager.

[CapMarvel]

@bendmeoverbackwards

And no, it’s not ‘normal’. It almost seems like the adults are accepting or even encouraging them to stay up all night. Lots of kids hate it being up that late, they might well WANT an adult to step in.

An 8 year old is perfectly capable of saying to their friend or the hosting mum that they want to go to sleep.

The idea that the parents would be actually encouraging them to stay up (how? by giving them coffee and playing loud music) is fucking hilarious.

It's a one-off. Don't be that shitty parent who is strict about pointless shit.

[HeelsAtDawn]

Oh I would actually be texting the mum.

I'd say;

I hear the girls did not sleep until 4. You must be exhausted!! You poor thing, I hope they were not too disruptive and you got some sleep in the end. [DD's name absolutely loved it] I owe you big time, but in the meantime I will drop you a bottle of wine'.

[Nidan2Sandan]

Surely you should be telling off your kid for pissing about & not going to sleep not moaning about the Mum!

Maybe you need to teach your child how to be better behaved when in someone else's house.

[bendmeoverbackwards]

The clue’s in the name - ‘SLEEPover’ not ‘STAYUPALLNIGHTer’

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Why is that funny @sunglassesonthetable ? Some kids really can’t cope with no sleep, will feel ill and take a few days to recover. It seems accosted on MN that sleepovers mean no sleep. Why not a happy medium of fun and frolics in the evening then sleep?

[CapMarvel]

It's a sleepover FFS. The whole point is that the kids get to stay up late, mess around etc as a one-off.

Get a grip.

[brookstar]

@bendmeoverbackwards

And no, it’s not ‘normal’. It almost seems like the adults are accepting or even encouraging them to stay up all night. Lots of kids hate it being up that late, they might well WANT an adult to step in.

It's one night. Really not something to get worked up about.

[gamerchick]

@keepsane

Oh trust me, my DD is grounded after that.

If this is for real, your kid is going to grow up learning how to lie and never confide in you. Utterly ridiculous, poor kid.

[Anxiernie]

We used to try and stay awake all night sf sleepovers!

[sunglassesonthetable]

And no, it’s not ‘normal’. It almost seems like the adults are accepting or even encouraging them to stay up all night. Lots of kids hate it being up that late, they might well WANT an adult to step in.

'encouraging' them to stay up late. 😂😂😂😁

[gamerchick]

Let it go OP, you're being ridiculous, or will be if you say anything. I'll bet the bairn had an awesome time. It's one night. It won't do her any harm.

[CarburyChocolateRules]

Your grounding your child for having fun?!
Really?

The last 2 years have been really shit
Its time to let children be children

I hope your daughter had a great time

[bendmeoverbackwards]

And no, it’s not ‘normal’. It almost seems like the adults are accepting or even encouraging them to stay up all night. Lots of kids hate it being up that late, they might well WANT an adult to step in.

[bendmeoverbackwards]

YANBU and I’m amazed at some of these replies.

I have 3 dds aged 21, 19 and 15 and have hosted many many sleepovers over the years and my DDs have also been to many as a guest. They’ve never been up till that time because as much as they like having fun being with their friends, they also like their sleep.

When I’ve had visiting children here for sleepovers, I make sure they are settled down for sleep by 11.30/midnight (bit later depending on age). It’s really not difficult. They would have had fun in the evening, pizza, ice cream, sweets, watch a few films, doing hair/nails etc just not the whole bloody night!

[WhiteFire]

4.30am is a ridiculous time to go to sleep and yes I would be annoyed, It was 3am for me, but I didn't text the parent to complain, I quietly seethed at the fact and also at the fact that dd then was so tired she fell asleep and missed a swimming lesson.

You can be annoyed at something without then making a massive song and dance of it.

[BusySittingDown]

Oh shit, I didn't see that this thread had so many pages.

[snowmanshoes]

You’re being completely unreasonable. Get used to it though! It’s just the start…

[BusySittingDown]

@keepsane

No they were no dads present as she is a single mum. It just wouldn't have been allowed at my house. When my DD has had sleepovers they are always in bed at reasonable hour

Sounds like great fun at your house! 😂

Don't text the mum. She hosted your DD for a night, she's probably knackered herself!

Who told you that they stayed up till 4.30? The mum or your DD? If it was your DD it's likely that she didn't. They always think that they stayed up longer than they did.

[girlmom21]

She might if she's the kind of mother who won't let her DD have a later bedtime even if she has friends over, which it sounds like she is.

[ExPatHereForAChat]

Threads like these always make me wonder why people don't channel their inner children and past experiences.

OP did you drop onto the Earth from outer space at 18?

Even if you never had sleepovers as a child, you must understand why this sort of thing happens. No big deal at all. She's had a lovely night bonding with her pal. Sleepovers aren't for sleeping!

[fancyfrogs]

Completely normal and I'm astonished you've grounded her!! How bloody horrible of you, she's done nothing wrong. Sleepovers are often kids trying to stay awake all night. It's a novelty. Yeah they might be grumpy when you pick them up but a nap and early night and everything is fine. You literally sound insane.

[thenightsky]

@RooniIWazlib

@keepsane
Are you coming back?

You know, you'll get what you deserve when your daughter is a teenager.

Oh yes, the teenage years await. I had a strict mum like the OP. All it taught me was how to be a very good liar.