8 year old up till 4.30 am is unreasonable?

[keepsane]

Just picked up my 8 year old DD from a sleepover at her friend from schools house and it turns out she and her friend were up until 4.30 am. The mum came into the room and said it was time to calm down and go to sleep...at 4.30 am!!

I'm really unhappy, in what world is letting 8 year old girls stay awake till that time unaccompanied may I add as the mum was in her bed, okay? 12 am - fair enough, maybe 1 am at a push if excited but 4.30 am is ridiculous and my DD is knackered.

I don't know whether to text the mum. She certainly won't be back there for a sleepover. AIBU?

[Hugasauras]

I think I'd feel sorry for the mum who had a disturbed night more than anything else! Does it matter as a one-off? Just let her have a nap and an early night and no harm done.

I was always the one at sleepovers trying to actually sleep I was very much the odd one out!

[redskyatnight]

In bed at a reasonable hour is not the same as asleep and staying asleep. Generally the all sleep on and off for bits of the time and wake up and have conversations for other bits of the time.
I used to be a brownie leader and it was exactly the same on the first night (they were exhausted after that!) - they were in bed at a reasonable hour but we couldn't stop them talking - we just used to go in occasionally and ask them to keep it quiet for the benefit of those who did want to sleep.
My DS used to try to stay awake all night when he went to sleepovers - I'm not sure exactly what any other parent would have been able to do to prevent that?

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

Just been camping with 20 8-10yos. Friday we got them settled by 12.30.... and they were awake at 7am! Saturday it was 11pm and we had to wake them at 8am. That was after a whole range of activities including a hike, climbing wall, obstacle course, games, campfire...

They wind each other up. I can promise you the adults present would have been much happier having more sleep!

[SandyWedges]

Mum probably asked them to be quite many times before that. Or she fell asleep assuming they were asleep if they were being quiet. Or whatever. It's how an 8 year old learns the sleep/fun balance. If anything you should be texting and apologising your 8 year old kept her up until 430.

[Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin]

My 10 year old stayed at her friend's last weekend and they were late to bed (not that late) - no drama just had a couple of early nights and l was just grateful she had been invited.

[Jalepenojello]

I thought I was laid back….430 am is ridiculous for an 8 year old IMO. That’s more age 11+ territory. I guess you can’t force kids to sleep but I’d have removed all tech at midnight and would be surprised if they managed to stay awake much beyond that

[RooniIWazlib]

It's your daughters fault not the mothers.

[VladmirsPoutine]

It was one night. They're 8 years old. Let this one go. Your dd might be a bit tired and grumpy today but in her eyes it was probably worth it.

[liveforsummer]

The team sleepover is misleading really. Im afraid this is fairly normal OP

[Mally100]

Fgs get a grip. Did you really think the mother on top of being a single parent, then needed to stay awake the entire night to ensure they slept?? Most likely the girls pretended to sleep, woke up after a while and just excitedly enjoyed their sleepover. It's a once off, give your head a wobble, let your dd have a lazy day or nap and just move on with life.

[Longdistance]

Well, your dd will need to power through the day and go to bed early.
I bet mum asked them to go to sleep several times. They either pretended to be asleep or were Playing up through the night.
You can be pissed off all you like, but you’ve effectively had a child free night.

[Soubriquet]

It’s a sleepover. There is usually a challenge to see who can stay awake the longest.

Yabu

[SpaceJamtart]

It's just as much your childs fault as it is the other childs fault. 8 year olds get excited on sleepovers. It is annoying and its awful when they are overtired but there is not really anything the mum could have done apart from phoning you at 1 am to come get her.

From her perspective she had another child over for a sleepover, who wouldn't go to sleep and kept her daughter up until 4:30, despite probably having told them numerous times in the night and having been woken up herself at 4:30, she now also has a tired and ratty child.
And then the other mum rings her in a strop to complain that she didn't force her daughter to sleep or sit up awake with them half the night to 'supervise', because obviously she enjoyed all night shenanigans.

I'd leave her alone and let your kid nap today

[theremustonlybeone]

This happened to me. 8 girls for a sleepover. I tried everything to get them to sleep and they too were in bed ‘early’ however some of them were up very very late. I apologised to the parents and refused to do anymore . I refuse to have kids over and then do a night shift to ensure they don’t stay up. As for OP suggesting that when she hosts sleepovers there in bed early. That may be the case but I bet there up late and whispering . Let it go

[FAQs]

@thechiefstew

The poor other mum must be exhausted - maybe she’s wondering now if she would want to invite an 8 year old round again who won’t go to sleep until 4.30am?? How lovely of her to have your DD for a sleepover, it’s not like it’s every night, get her in bed the next couple of nights and she’ll be fine I’m sure.

This, for goodness sake don’t complain to the mum you’re being unfair to do so.

[ldontWanna]

DD has yet to go to a sleepover,especially a birthday one where she went to bed earlier than 3 am.

[Butchyrestingface]

It's a one off. And whilst you can force kids into a bedroom (Good luck with getting them to STAY in bed), you can't force them to sleep if they're full of beans.

Did you have something scheduled for today that last night's shenanigans have put the kibosh on?

[KyaClark]

But it wasn't your house, so what you'd have allowed is irrelevant.

It's one night.

[thechiefstew]

The poor other mum must be exhausted - maybe she’s wondering now if she would want to invite an 8 year old round again who won’t go to sleep until 4.30am?? How lovely of her to have your DD for a sleepover, it’s not like it’s every night, get her in bed the next couple of nights and she’ll be fine I’m sure.

[Georgeskitchen]

It's that the whole idea of a sleepover? To stay awake as long as is humanly possible and spend a night of excited giggling?
It sure was when I was 8, and yes my mother was constantly telling us to pipe down!!

[ErinAndTonic]

You're a bit precious aren't you! Take a chill pill, and don't go texting the mum.. unless you want your daughter to be left out of future sleepovers and be alienated from her friends.

[MultiBird]

Can you imagine, having being kept awake all night, getting a text of complaint from a mother who's had a nice child free evening and a full night's sleep? 😆

[anotherbrewplease]

Hehe - yeah - text the Mum. I’m sure she’ll be really interested in what you have to say.

Surely your daughter will just go to be early tonight - job done.

[HintofVintagePink]

If I’d been up at 4.30am asking someone else’s child to go to sleep, having fed them and had them to stay, then receive a text from the mother complaining then they wouldn’t be invited back.

Don’t be so precious and also don’t be so sure your child will be invited back anyway!

[PinkButtercups]

Oh it's no big deal. It was a one off. Stop over reacting. Your DD probably had loads of fun, even staying up past her bedtime.

Don't be a fun sponge.