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AIBU?

It’s not my job to be fascinated by your child

133 replies

Worryinglyworried73 · 01/05/2022 12:03

My friend is pissed off with me because I am not enthralled & fascinated by her baby. Before she had the baby she never showed the slightest interest in my 2 kids, never remembered birthdays or Xmas, never asked about them etc. I have never been one to talk incessantly about my kids as I recognise that they are really only very interesting to me.

The friend’s partner deleted me on Facebook because I wasn’t liking enough pictures of their child & she has been constantly dropping hints about being fed up with ‘friends who aren’t interested’ in talking about her child.

The bottom line is that I am not interested- she’s got an NCT group to talk nappies and stuff with- I didn’t expect her to listen to me talking about my kids and actually I didn’t really go on and on about feeding and sleeping etc anyway as it’s dull.

Having a baby has turned her into an utter bore frankly and I just feel like telling her to jog on with her guilt trips and snide comments.

aibu?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

1902 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
7%
You are NOT being unreasonable
93%
UnsuitableHat · 01/05/2022 12:08

That sounds really irritating especially the fixation with FB likes. Perhaps over time she’ll lose the intensity a bit.

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JuneOsborne · 01/05/2022 12:08

Yeah, but you sound a bit hurt that she was interested in your babies, so you know how that feels.

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JuneOsborne · 01/05/2022 12:09

*wasn't

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LaBellina · 01/05/2022 12:10

God they sound exhausting and are taking superficiality and entitlement to a whole new level.

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EmeraldShamrock1 · 01/05/2022 12:10

Yanbu. They're completely unreasonable.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 01/05/2022 12:11

She sounds insufferable. And not must of a friend if the relationship is conditional on Facebook likes.

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grapewines · 01/05/2022 12:11

No, you're not. I would tell her to get over herself. Or just step back.

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Vsirbdo · 01/05/2022 12:11

She’s unreasonable on the basis that she wasn’t interested in yours; I don’t expect my friends to be overly interested in every little detail but asking how they are is fairly basic

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Worryinglyworried73 · 01/05/2022 12:13

@JuneOsborne not really. I had no expectation that anyone would be fascinated in my kids as they are never as interesting to others as they are to you. I’m just hacked off with her attitude that someone I am a crap person because I am not fascinated by her baby

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MintJulia · 01/05/2022 12:13

If she's a friend, can't you cut her some slack for the first few weeks until the novelty wears off - which we all know it will? I'd give her a month 😊

On the other hand, unfriending anyone for not liking their pictures is just weird..

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Worryinglyworried73 · 01/05/2022 12:15

@MintJulia the baby is nearly a year old. I sent flowers and gifts when baby was born & congratulated them etc.

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JesusInTheCabbageVan · 01/05/2022 12:16

I'm going to get your thread title printed on a t shirt and make an absolute fortune selling it to teachers Grin

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DockOTheBay · 01/05/2022 12:18

YANBU
I thought you meant the baby was a few weeks old, not 11 months
Unfriendly someone for not liking enough pictures is pathetic

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Worryinglyworried73 · 01/05/2022 12:18

@JesusInTheCabbageVan ha ha 😅

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SeedyBloomer · 01/05/2022 12:20

Oh gawd, she sounds tedious. YANBU. She needs to grow up if she’s that obsessed with getting likes on Facebook.

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Mrsmch123 · 01/05/2022 12:39

🙄🙄there is nothing worse than a parent who thinks the world revolves around their children. I have one he is the light of my life but I get not everyone thinks the same!she obv a twat and not a very good friend.

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Dyrne · 01/05/2022 12:42

Your title doesn’t really add up to your post.

Your friends sound batshit; but equally many things aren’t our “job” but surely it’s basic politeness to show vague interest in your friends’ lives?

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Hardbackwriter · 01/05/2022 12:48

Your friend sounds very unreasonable and I haven't encountered anything as extreme. But I have noticed that in general my friends having babies now seem to think that I'll be very into their babies and want to talk about them endlessly when they showed very little interest in mine - I think they think that because I'm a mum I must love that stuff and want to talk about it, whereas they didn't have children when I had mine so obviously weren't into it all. But other people talking about nappies and feeding and sleep is just as boring once you've had your own children as it was before! In general I think when you're in the early stages with your first you need people around you at exactly the same stage (hence the popularity of NCT) because it's normal and fine to want to talk about the intricacies of weaning or whatever but it will bore anyone who is not at exactly the same stage rigid.

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Fizzgigg · 01/05/2022 12:48

Who are these people who have either the time or inclination to actually track which friends have liked posts? I mean do they keep an excel spreadsheet on it? Lisa liked 5 out of last 7 posts. Jemima liked 7 out of 7. Lisa must try harder....

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Wetblanket78 · 01/05/2022 12:50

YANBU Just sad and petty to delete someone over that. Do they really think you have nothing better to do than sit on Facebook everyday liking they're baby pictures?😂😂😂 I would be clicking on the unfollow button. Can't stand people like that like they're baby is the best.

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woodhill · 01/05/2022 12:51

Fizzgigg · 01/05/2022 12:48

Who are these people who have either the time or inclination to actually track which friends have liked posts? I mean do they keep an excel spreadsheet on it? Lisa liked 5 out of last 7 posts. Jemima liked 7 out of 7. Lisa must try harder....

Exactly

I was too busy trying to do everything in the house and care for my dc. No SM though

I'm surprised her dp is that bothered who likes her posts, that's weird and deleting her friends is controlling imo

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Templeblossom · 01/05/2022 12:51

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 01/05/2022 12:16

I'm going to get your thread title printed on a t shirt and make an absolute fortune selling it to teachers Grin

Can we also get one with " shut up about your fucking wedding " on?

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Snowflakes1122 · 01/05/2022 12:53

Her DH unfriended you because you didn’t Like baby photos?! Is that the reason they gave you?

Just bizarre behaviour.

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wibdib · 01/05/2022 13:09

Just out of interest, how many posts does she/her partner like when posts are about a) your kids and b) your life and other stuff in general?

Can you make a comment along the lines of not being aware that Facebook posts were a competition and that given the amount of importance they have attached to your likes (or lack thereof!), the lack of likes coming from them is deafening - on the basis that you're busy so only have limited time for interaction (plus these days Facebook itself makes it a real passion to keep track of postings from everyone all the time, and posts often pop up a couple of days after being posted) whereas they are deliberately not replying or liking everything...

Sorry, haven't explained that very well but hopefully you understand what I'm trying to get at!

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Crumpetcrazys · 01/05/2022 13:09

YANBU pass me a tee shirt. I’m in the same situation and it’s really lonely. They never asked about my DC and I didn’t want them to but now it’s endless talk of bottles and naps which bores me senseless.

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