Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

To want my own bed on holiday
281

littlepieces · 23/04/2022 14:16

I'm going to Lisbon for a long weekend in July, meeting up with two great friends I haven't seen for about 4 years; one lives in LA, the other is in Dublin (I'm in London). We booked a villa with four double bedrooms to accommodate LA friend and her husband, their friends (another couple) who I've met a few times and are lovely, then Dublin friend and me would each have our own rooms.

LA friend has just announced that she's invited another couple, hope that's OK with everyone. And possibly some other friend might sleep on the sofa bed for two nights?! This now means me and Dublin friend will be sharing a queen size bed. Now I adore Dublin friend but I'm 35 and want my own bed. Also she's 6'2, snores loads, and is always the one last to bed drunk, and freakishly early to rise. I'm a loser and like my sleep 😄. I'm thinking of suggesting to book my own place, but think this might go down badly. Something similar happened with another group of friends years ago on a trip to New York - they had people sleeping on the floor in a grotty, overpriced Airbnb with rats, while I stayed in a really nice, new hostel with private rooms. They were all a bit offended and caused some bad feeling.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

MiddleParking · 23/04/2022 14:18

Totally agree with you and I’d be really angry with your friend.

Please
or
to access all these features

LividLaVidaLoca · 23/04/2022 14:19

Have you paid?

I think you need to shut this down early. How about a breezy “Ha, have they found somewhere to stay yet? At my age I need my own room, i’m
sure you understand”.

Please
or
to access all these features

littlepieces · 23/04/2022 14:19

Ps. I didn't ditch the friends in NY while we were there - I just had a feeling 5 people in a super cheap studio in Manhatten wasn't going to work out well, so booked my own place in advance.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Tinkerblonde1 · 23/04/2022 14:19

I think you just need to make it clear you want your own room. You maybe being picky but say its just your thing. Say it affects your mental health and you need your own room.
I totally agree with you and would feel the same. There are very few people I could share a room with.

At least it you make it clear then any future trips that would be taken into account.

Please
or
to access all these features

Alwayspaintyournails · 23/04/2022 14:20

It’s not the weekend you signed up for… do you even know these extra people? I wouldn’t be sharing a bed on a trip at my age.

Please
or
to access all these features

GroggyLegs · 23/04/2022 14:20

YANBU

Friend should have checked before inviting extra randoms to sleep in my your bed!

Please
or
to access all these features

Gladioli23 · 23/04/2022 14:20

That would be getting a firm Definitely Not Okay. I don't even like sharing a room, never mind a bed and I would be politely pointing out that that wasn't the agreed plan and while it might be lovely to see X, if that had been the plan we would have booked somewhere different.

Please
or
to access all these features

LividLaVidaLoca · 23/04/2022 14:20

(I have experience with this having spent a weekend in Croatia sharing a double bed with 6”2 gbf plus the female friend he also invited. He had to sleep with his feet on a chair. I’m too old
for this shit nowadays).

Please
or
to access all these features

RandomQuest · 23/04/2022 14:22

Absolutely not ok! You agreed to the villa on the basis that it was just with the 2 friends and everyone had their own rooms. Your friend has some cheek to just invite 3 more people and ‘hope that’s OK with everyone’. Who does that?! I’d be seething in all honesty, I wouldn’t go and if I’d already paid I’d want my money back.

Please
or
to access all these features

Curiosity101 · 23/04/2022 14:22

Just say "So long as I've got my own bed/room then that's absolutely fine with me ☺️"

Your friend did say "They hope that's ok with everyone else".

"Oh, I thought you'd share with Dublin"

"I really struggle to sleep if I don't have my own space. Not a problem though, I can always book somewhere else to sleep? Or could we look at getting somewhere bigger maybe?"

I definitely wouldn't be willing to share a bed with anyone other than my husband. I'm definitely past that part of my life 🤣. I can't understand how anyone would be offended by your suggestion.

Please
or
to access all these features

littlepieces · 23/04/2022 14:23

I think LA friend's thinking is that the more the merrier... and works out cheaper for everyone. So doesn't see any problem.

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Ponderingwindow · 23/04/2022 14:24

I would veto that asap. I wouldn’t want to share a bed or a room.


friend really shouldn’t be adding extra people either, but that battle depends on the dynamics of the group and the trip.

the bedroom though is non-negotiable.

Please
or
to access all these features

JauntyJinty · 23/04/2022 14:24

I'm assuming the other friend you'd be sharing with didn't know about this either - is it worth speaking to them first to go in with a united front? Could back fire if she's fine with it but I can't imagine anyone not being at least slightly put out by this

Please
or
to access all these features

Floralnomad · 23/04/2022 14:24

Just reply and say No that won’t work for me so either I will book somewhere else or your random friends can . YADNBU , I don’t even share a room with my sister when I’m away with her , I love her to bits but she likes sleeping and it’s bloody annoying when I watch TV and IPad half the night .

Please
or
to access all these features

bellac11 · 23/04/2022 14:26

Gordon Bennett, no way. I wouldnt even share a room, let alone a bed, what is it with people

Please
or
to access all these features

Honeyroar · 23/04/2022 14:29

As long as they’re all sleeping in your room and you’re not expecting me to give up my room, that’s fine. Otherwise we need to find somewhere nearby with more rooms. I need my space at night.

Please
or
to access all these features

HikingforScenery · 23/04/2022 14:29

You need to speak up now so alternative arrangements can be made. You’re not helping anyone by not speaking up.

Please
or
to access all these features

BritWifeInUSA · 23/04/2022 14:31

It was very rude of them to invite extra people without any consideration for the other guests and how it would inconvenience them. Did you pay a quarter of the cost of the place? If you did, you get a quarter of the bedrooms (I.e. a bedroom to yourself).

Bit welcome to how Americans travel. I live in the US and I’m constantly amazed how my in-laws, work colleagues, friends, etc travel. They pile a ridiculous number of people into rooms. Not so bad when it’s small children but if a middle-aged couple is traveling somewhere with grown adult children they’ll opt for one room. I’ve known couples who are traveling together who book a room with 2 queens and both couples share the room, I’ve known adults piling so many into a room that someone is on the floor. It’s ridiculous. When we go away with friends they seem shocked that I want a separate room for my husband and me. They think it’s a waste of money.

So it’s no surprise to me at all that the CA couple assumed you and Dublin Friend will share a bed. I’d tell them that since they invited these people they can put them on the floor of their room.

Please
or
to access all these features

TidyDancer · 23/04/2022 14:31

Yanbu.

Depending on the phrasing of the message, I would try to play it dumb and say something like that's fine, looking forward to seeing them (only if you are of course!), where will they be staying? If she replies they'll be staying with you, I would ask why she wants to give up her room? I wouldn't be willing to share a room personally, let alone a bed.

Please
or
to access all these features

AlisonDonut · 23/04/2022 14:31

`Hi. But where will they sleep as there are only x beds? Have they booked nearby?'

Please
or
to access all these features

doggiescats · 23/04/2022 14:32

Yep I am with you OP …absolutely no way would I share a room with anyone apart from my dog ! I need my space,I snore and I am a restless sleeper !
Just insist that you will not share!

Please
or
to access all these features

DollyPartBaked · 23/04/2022 14:35

YANBU - and of course she doesn't mind, she pays less but continues to have the same room she was originally paying for.

Say no as soon as possible.

Please
or
to access all these features

thewhatsit · 23/04/2022 14:36

Have you replied yet?

I guess it all depends. If she has recently sprung this on you then agree, play dumb and say “great! - I guess we need somewhere bigger though as everyone needs their own rooms/ bed.”
But I think you probably should suck it up and share if it’s gone on longer than this as you haven’t raised an objection yet.

Please
or
to access all these features

PegsandBags · 23/04/2022 14:37

I can imagine the fun when deciding how to split the cost for all this, judging by some of the family holidays in the one villa threads!

Who booked and who pays what? I know many people are very laid back about sharing and communal living, the more the merrier, but I would not be at all. I'd just say fine, no problem... are they staying nearby? LOL. I would rather not go than be sharing a room (not to mind a bed!) or living with a big gang like that. Changes the original dynamic hugely I think.

Please
or
to access all these features

Irishfarmer · 23/04/2022 14:43

I would not be interested in that at all! Apart from visiting friends at uni I really cannot remember the last time I shared a bed with anyone bar DH/ boyfriends over the years. It is not something I would be happy to do!! A room I don't really mind but prefer not to.

What does Dublin friend think of this? Does she want to share with you?

But pretty much what everyone else said. Tell them (politely) you will not be sharing a bed with Dublin friend.

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.