In Laws upset about sons surname

Sindel · 2022-01-21 18:27:20

(For context - DP and I have been together nearly 5 years and have a 3 month old DS. I've never been close to my in laws (they are very middle class snobby people and I come from a council estate so bit of a culture clash) and they have a habit of feigning kindness to my face and then bitching about me to DP behind my back over the phone. They got a bit better when I got pregnant as I gave them their first grandchild but still wouldn't call us close). Over Xmas last month they came over and we celebrated together and things were going surprisingly smoothly until we showed them DS's birth certificate. (FIL requested his own copy that we gifted him that day). They were very surprised to see that DS had a double barrelled surname. We had told them before what DS's full name would be but they assumed my surname was a middle name instead of part of his surname. They didn't seem too angry straight away but the atmosphere was tense the rest of the night. 2 days later they called DP and FIL had a full on tantrum about how awful I was for doing this 'behind his back' and how sorry he felt that DS was having my 'silly faux-progressive bullsh*t forced on him'. I took the phone from DP and explained that I was his mother, had carried and birthed him and of course my name would be in there. Also DP and I are not married so my name was more apt anyway. He then proceeded to school me on how his surname is super rare and unless my DS has it may not get passed on as there are only girls in his family and accused me of being selfish and 'spitting upon his family name'. Since then FIL has simply refused to use DS's full name and even when as far as to have a blanket made with only the one surname on it and has explained that he will never use it and will tell everyone that my surname is just a middle name. I dont know how to approach things from here at all. My IL's have done things before that have annoyed me but I've smiled and beared it, but this is the first time I've had a full on argument with them. DP agrees that its a shame his rare surname will likely end but 100% supports my choice and took my side but I can see it hurts him. However I dint want to stand for any childish behaviour, like my FIL just pretending that my surname doesn't exist on DS). Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated greatly. ((I know I say 'in laws' a lot when me and DP aren't married but its just easier to type out))

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Hi all, thanks for your replies but the OP appears to be trolling so we are taking this thread down now.

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