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To wonder why this has come through the post for DH..?
258

namechangedaily · 07/12/2021 14:43

Saw an opened perfumed shaped parcel on the side and curiosity got the better of me so thought I'd sneak and see if it was the Chanel perfume I'd be hinting about. Found this..
Would you assume it's a secret Santa?
Or I've just had a baby and he clearly isn't getting enough...

To wonder why this has come through the post for DH..?
OP's posts:
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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 18:27

I can’t imagine having this attitude to something so normal. Sexual activity, be that solo or with someone, is messy, wet, sticky etc. That’s the fact of the matter. There’s nothing grim about cleaning up afterwards

Shame and embarrassment felt after masturbating is a well established and universal trope. The idea of cleaning up sex toys whilst feeling this is what I find tricky, in a way I don’t find cleaning up after having sex with my husband. But of course everyone will try to say that this isn’t a phenomenon that exists 🤷🏻‍♀️😬

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ChampagneLassie · 07/12/2021 18:21

This seems to funny to be true made up trying to get re-posted on Mumsnetmaddness?

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Offmyfence · 07/12/2021 18:18

@IamGusFring

TBH my first thought was that it was a scorned affair partner sending him a bit of revenge but then he wouldn't leave it lying there .

Well that's a leap!
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sammylady37 · 07/12/2021 18:05

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Do you find the thoughts of grown women cleaning their vaginal secretions off penis-shaped vibrators equally grim?

Yeh, it’s pretty grim. Part of why I don’t own any sex toys; but there is obviously something a bit different from rinsing something and having to like clean something out.

I can’t imagine having this attitude to something so normal. Sexual activity, be that solo or with someone, is messy, wet, sticky etc. That’s the fact of the matter. There’s nothing grim about cleaning up afterwards.
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oakleaffy · 07/12/2021 18:01

You'd have thought if it really was for him that he'd have been a little better at hiding it?!


It looks like one of those artificial 'vaginas' Bulls/Stallions use to collect semen samples in.

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HaaaaaveyoumetTed · 07/12/2021 17:50

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

It's just a sex toy ffs, what on earth is the problem??

That’s disingenuous IMO. There’s different types of sex toys; I suppose ranging from tingling lubricant and cock rings, to 12 inch latex fists. Like if maybe husband ordered the latter to use on himself I would not feel very happy, would you? But it’s “just a sex toy”.

Rather that than be resentful I don't want to stick my first up his arse if that's something he really enjoys.
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HaaaaaveyoumetTed · 07/12/2021 17:48

Firstly, DH and I have an agreement that we open each week there's post. Whoever gets the post out the post box/ the parcel from the doorstep opens it. Only if we specify NOT to (such as Christmas time) would we not.

And secondly I cannot see the big deal in a DH buying a wank toy to meet his desires whilst his wife is recovering from birth/ dealing with becoming a mum. He's sorting himself out quietly and with no risk to their relationship.

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timeforanewlife · 07/12/2021 17:44

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

It's just a sex toy ffs, what on earth is the problem??

That’s disingenuous IMO. There’s different types of sex toys; I suppose ranging from tingling lubricant and cock rings, to 12 inch latex fists. Like if maybe husband ordered the latter to use on himself I would not feel very happy, would you? But it’s “just a sex toy”.

I certainly wouldn't mind. It is a sex toy and we all have needs
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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 17:34

It's just a sex toy ffs, what on earth is the problem??

That’s disingenuous IMO. There’s different types of sex toys; I suppose ranging from tingling lubricant and cock rings, to 12 inch latex fists. Like if maybe husband ordered the latter to use on himself I would not feel very happy, would you? But it’s “just a sex toy”.

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IamGusFring · 07/12/2021 17:33

TBH my first thought was that it was a scorned affair partner sending him a bit of revenge but then he wouldn't leave it lying there .

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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/12/2021 17:32

I'd just say to him when he gets in "I put your girlfriend up on a high shelf so DS doesnt ask me what it is" and smile.

Who gives a shit if he buys himself a sex toy? I suspect most grown women own one/have tried one.

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LuluBlakey1 · 07/12/2021 17:32

@Terminallysleepdeprived

To be honest this is excellent the sort of thing that would have appeared in my previous job's secret santa haul. Some of the staff (Inc managers) made it a mission to out-do each other in the rude stakes.

Just ask your dh.

Regardless of secret santa or for his own use its a sex toy, can't get her up about it to be honest

Sounds like a place where the culture is inappropriate and professional boundaries are non-existent.
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IamGusFring · 07/12/2021 17:32

@Offmyfence

Deep-water fishermen away from home on long trips used to nail a cod's head to the mast......

GrinGrinGrin

That sounds a bit fishy to me ....
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Flowerpower23 · 07/12/2021 17:32

Secret Santa. One of the lads at work has got one for another lad he got in secret Santa, it got delivered to the office and the managing director opened it!! 🤣🤣

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Beachgirl33 · 07/12/2021 17:31

@FestiveFruitloop

Says 'low stock' on Lovehoney's site. And there I was thinking the Velvetiser was this year's gift of choice...

Seriously though OP, I can imagine what a shock this would have been. Do you think you'll talk to him about it?

Hahaha. I’ve bought my husband a velvetiser. I could of saved myself 90 quid and got him this Grin
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Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 07/12/2021 17:31

Do you find the thoughts of grown women cleaning their vaginal secretions off penis-shaped vibrators equally grim?

Yeh, it’s pretty grim. Part of why I don’t own any sex toys; but there is obviously something a bit different from rinsing something and having to like clean something out.

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LuluBlakey1 · 07/12/2021 17:31

@Marvellousmadness

of course it is NOT a secret santa op
Dont be naive.

He's not getting enough so he is satisfying his needs clearly. Just because you dont wanna engage in sex doesn't mean he cant either ..

ODFOD
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occa · 07/12/2021 17:30

It's bizarre that so many people are pearl-clutching about this!

It's just a sex toy ffs, what on earth is the problem??

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Terminallysleepdeprived · 07/12/2021 17:27

To be honest this is excellent the sort of thing that would have appeared in my previous job's secret santa haul. Some of the staff (Inc managers) made it a mission to out-do each other in the rude stakes.

Just ask your dh.

Regardless of secret santa or for his own use its a sex toy, can't get her up about it to be honest

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Bookworm20 · 07/12/2021 17:27

different strokes for different folks. Quite literally.

Haha, indeed.

I just had a mental image of my DP thrusting into that Blush not a nice vision!!
Maybe thats the difference for me! my DP seems to be turned on with using my vibrator on me. If he used that thing with me there though I think i'd be gagging!! Would NOT put me in the mood Confused

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LuckyAmy1986 · 07/12/2021 17:25

So many men on MN these days. Totally ruin it but I expect that's their goal

Agree. I really didn't want to read what I just read.

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LynetteScavo · 07/12/2021 17:25

The only time I've opened DHs post it turned out to be a receipt for a very large amount of money he'd spent when bidding at a charity auction (while pissed). There are some things I'd rather not know. It serves me right for snooping.

You shouldn't have looked, but now you know. Serves you right. Sorry.

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KeepApart · 07/12/2021 17:25

Its essentially just a dildo isn't it?

He's just wanking. People wank. He's not cheating on you, even if he feels he isn't getting enough the best way to sort this is to wank a bit more.

It's not that realistic. I would assume any such item would need to be long and tube shaped with a hole. It's just got a couple of lips added, it's not really a hyper detailed vulva. Most vibrators/dildos have some detailing on them

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BoudinsNoirs · 07/12/2021 17:24

How many married women have a vibrator ? I have two ! Grin

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ShiftingSands21 · 07/12/2021 17:24

Vom

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