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To wonder why this has come through the post for DH..?
258

namechangedaily · 07/12/2021 14:43

Saw an opened perfumed shaped parcel on the side and curiosity got the better of me so thought I'd sneak and see if it was the Chanel perfume I'd be hinting about. Found this..
Would you assume it's a secret Santa?
Or I've just had a baby and he clearly isn't getting enough...

To wonder why this has come through the post for DH..?
OP's posts:
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LadyCatStark · 07/12/2021 19:31

Oh… I was not expecting that…

It’s one thing to buy one in secret but quite another to leave it on the side where your 5 year old could find it 🤢.

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EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 07/12/2021 19:29

No different from a dildo imo

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HaveringWavering · 07/12/2021 19:28

@ThirdElephant who cares, the OP didn’t open anything. Read the first sentence of the OP again.

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Xtraincome · 07/12/2021 19:27

Placemarking here tosee what DH says

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WalkingOnTheCracks · 07/12/2021 19:27

@IamGusFring

TBH my first thought was that it was a scorned affair partner sending him a bit of revenge but then he wouldn't leave it lying there .

That was your first thought?

Are you the hack who writes the Dear Deirdre photostories in the Sunday rags?
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GatoradeMeBitch · 07/12/2021 19:20

OP is clearly not upset.

Perhaps some of you with the sex toy collections should get them out tonight? Might relax you a little bit...

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cheeseislife8 · 07/12/2021 19:19

@Benjispruce5

In the Algarve they sell those ‘toys’ in vending machines. I was Shock as kids walked by. Clearly very open about sex in Portugal.

Shock and I thought cock rings in the pub vending machine on holiday was weird!

I'm dying to know if OP mentioned this to DH
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ThirdElephant · 07/12/2021 19:15

@BIWI

Why on earth would you open a parcel that's not addressed to, or for you?!

This. Isn't it illegal to open post addressed to someone else?
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DixieSun · 07/12/2021 19:14

Must be for him.

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Benjispruce5 · 07/12/2021 19:13

@HaveringWavering totally misread that. Well if it’s open he’s obviously not keeping it a secret, just ask him!

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HaveringWavering · 07/12/2021 19:11

@Benjispruce5

Would never open anything addressed to someone else. What if it was perfume? He’s know you’d opened it!
I wouldn’t be impressed if DH ordered that though tbh.

What part of “an opened perfumed shaped parcel” are people not understanding here?

Is it that their eyes are misting over at the sight of the silicone fanny and their brains are reading “an opened” as “an unopened”?
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Benjispruce5 · 07/12/2021 19:09

In the Algarve they sell those ‘toys’ in vending machines. I was Shock as kids walked by. Clearly very open about sex in Portugal.

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Benjispruce5 · 07/12/2021 19:08

Would never open anything addressed to someone else. What if it was perfume? He’s know you’d opened it!
I wouldn’t be impressed if DH ordered that though tbh.

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sammylady37 · 07/12/2021 19:07

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

I can’t imagine having this attitude to something so normal. Sexual activity, be that solo or with someone, is messy, wet, sticky etc. That’s the fact of the matter. There’s nothing grim about cleaning up afterwards

Shame and embarrassment felt after masturbating is a well established and universal trope. The idea of cleaning up sex toys whilst feeling this is what I find tricky, in a way I don’t find cleaning up after having sex with my husband. But of course everyone will try to say that this isn’t a phenomenon that exists 🤷🏻‍♀️😬

Depends on what you mean by ‘universal’, really. If you claim it’s something everyone feels, then I’d say no, actually it’s not. Plenty people view masturbation as something normal, healthy, enjoyable and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. But even if someone feels ‘shame’ after doing it, I don’t see why cleaning the toys afterwards is so grim. But each to their own 🤷‍♀️
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JingleJangler · 07/12/2021 19:05

I think it's grim - reduces women to a body part

Would you prefer it if your partner ordered a full size sex toll with working voice, rather than one of these?

Whats the big deal? I have seen loads of posts where the forum is up in arms when a man is pestering his partner for sex too soon after giving birth. Men have a lot of failings but they cannot win sometimes.

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HaveringWavering · 07/12/2021 19:00

Was it definitely addressed to him?

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Offmyfence · 07/12/2021 18:56

@Shadowboy

I’d never open post addressed to my OH without asking. Even if it was for you, how annoying would that be for him if he found out you knew.

She didn't open it, it was already open!
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PoleFairy · 07/12/2021 18:53

It's a sex toy for him. My DH has one just like I have a few bullets, rampant rabbits and wands. It's not a crime its normal! As for people grossed out about cleaning them, there are far grosser parts of sex!

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Shadowboy · 07/12/2021 18:50

I’d never open post addressed to my OH without asking. Even if it was for you, how annoying would that be for him if he found out you knew.

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bubblesbubbles11 · 07/12/2021 18:47

fabricfanatic

exactly

wouldn't be surprised if the technology was close enough that OP's item can speak and their first words are "What would you like me to be called"....

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StoneofDestiny · 07/12/2021 18:46

Do tell OP - what did he say about it?

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minipie · 07/12/2021 18:42

So hang on, he opened it and left it lying around opened?

Or did you go looking in a drawer/bag and find it…

The answer tells you a lot about what it’s intended for

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fabricfanatic · 07/12/2021 18:42

Gross. Why does it have a name?! Or do they name vibrators with human names, too? "Oh, how do you like your Dave? I bought a Henry, but I've been thinking I might like something a bit different. Maybe a Robert..."

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OneFootintheRave · 07/12/2021 18:40

@EdgeOfTheSky

“When they say "mini" they aren't kidding. I felt like I was violating an underage Gnome or Hobbit”

GrinGrin
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PlasticPlantsDontDie · 07/12/2021 18:35

OP you have to update us as soon as he gets in at 7.

Well, let him get in first, make him a cuppa then ask him.

Then come tell us :)

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