WTF! Random man comment

[KatherineJaneway]

Out in a busy, lively restaurant last night catching up with a good friend. Been there about an hour when a random man walks up to our table and says to me directly 'Do you ever smile?'

I was a bit confused in the moment as I had no idea who he was and my friend and I had been talking, so I was like 'excuse me?' I must have moved from what was clearly a resting bitch face to a smile and he was like 'Oh, you do' and he walked off. I mean, why do that?

YABU - he's making conversation
YANBU - you're right, he's an annoying twat

[bowlingalleyblues]

99% of people think this man’s an idiot. It’s incredibly annoying that people like this insist on inflicting their idiocy on the rest of us.

[TheElectricBoogaloo]

Ugh! Just so tiresome. I’m the proud owner of resting bitch face and have been told to smile by random men probably 200+ times in my life. I’m now at that age where I’m one of those “invisible” women (yay!) unless I’m out for a run and of course wearing Lycra makes it open season for the Random Comment Men. I just don’t get it! Being told to “smile”, “c’mon love is that the best you can do?” or my personal fave atm “I normally run really fast but I thought I’d come and chat to you” when I’m gritting my teeth in the middle of a 10k is hardly likely to make me want to throw myself at them with desire. And they wonder why they get a stony stare and a breathless “fuck off” in retort???

[mam0918]

My mother always taught me to smile because its unthreatenening and polite and I expect the same of my kids too (male and female) in general, in day to day life it costs nothing to smile and it makes the world a better place.

However the exchange you stated he is definately a twat.

If you where asking 'excuse me' to get past, making small talk with him, or even just making passing eye contact in a corridor etc... then its polite to give a little smile but if you weren't engaging him at all why would you be expected to smile at him?

For all he knows you could have been having a heart to heart with a close friend over a death or something + commenting randomly on a strangers face is a twat-y move.

[Craftycorvid]

‘No, I never smile at arseholes. I just tell them to fuck right off. Bye!’

[firstimemamma]

I had a similar comment made to me once when I was wheeling baby ds around the block in his pram on about 3 hours of broken sleep. I was too fucking sleep deprived to smile!

[incywincyspidery]

That seemed to happen to me all the time when I was growing up. I'd be walking along the street, and a random (always male) stranger would walk past and tell me to cheer up. Like I was supposed to be inanely grinning while walking along ON MY OWN. It hasn't happened for many years since I left home so either 1) the males in the area I grew up in were particular twats 2) men only say that to young girls and not grown women, or 3) I have indeed started inanely grinning while walking along on my own 😁

[Cimone]

When men say anything to be about what I need to do with my face, I tell them I have a $1000 smile fee payable only in cash. If they aren't prepared to do that then GTFOH with trying to command me to show my teeth like a trained animal. F YOU SIR!

[ExPatHereForAChat]

I've had this said to me a couple of times in my young twenties when walking down the road. I wish now I wasn't as polite as I was.
I don't get men like this. Can only imagine he's not happy in his own skin.
OP please ignore him, he wanted to make you uncomfortable.

[KatherineJaneway]

YANBU; it's really rude of him! Was he a bit drunk?

He seemed sober but who knows. I mean I'm 50, overweight, I scrub up reasonably well but I was hardly turning heads. No reason for him to target me. I just wish I'd thought of some biting reply to put him in his place. I had no idea how he saw me as he wasn't in one of the tables facing us.

[Lunaticmess]

You can content yourself with the fact that he isn’t getting laid ever again if that is his way of getting female attention. What a complete arsehole. You don’t owe anyone a smile, particularly not an insufferable, entitled stranger with no concept of personal space.

[restingbitchface30]

What a dick head

[KatherineJaneway]

@Atmywitsend29

I got as far as "do you ever smile". What a tool.

Btw, bloody LOVE your name, Cap'n.

Thanks @Atmywitsend29

I just couldn't believe it. After the final exchange he just walked off, it was so quick my slow brain didn't have a chance to come up with a witty come back

[highlandcoo]

So wearing. Why do these random men think we might welcome their opinion as we're going about our day?

Not in any way threatening, just tiresome, but last week I drove into a pub car park. I know the car park well, and I wasn't driving fast or dangerously but not creeping around tentatively either.

I swung round and pulled up quite smartly about 6 inches from the wall, and an elderly man nearby called over "I thought you were going to crash into that wall there!"

I said "No, my husband would be more likely to do that - I'm a really good driver." He then looked deflated. I think I was supposed to giggle and make an excuse maybe?

I'm sure it wouldn't have occurred to him to make a comment like that to a man.

[TaysideTeuchter]

I sympathise OP - I have a resting bitch face. I've actually grown to love wearing face masks - it's been a good 18 months since anyone's told me to ''cheer up.'

[Cherrysoup]

This drives me nuts. He wouldn’t dream of saying that to a man, would he?

[TreXX]

@Notmrsfitz

I think maybe he was a bit socially inept and you’re possibly overthinking it .

There must be a massive percentage of socially inept men out there then.

I've had literally hundreds of different random men tell me to smile over a timespan of about 25-30 years.

It gets very tiring after a while.

[Negligee]

@Notmrsfitz

I think maybe he was a bit socially inept and you’re possibly overthinking it .

I’d be very surprised to encounter a form of ‘social ineptness’ that expressed itself in actively approaching a complete stranger at another table in a busy restaurant and criticising her expression.

[ddl1]

MothralovesGojira

We had something similar in our shop last month. One of our employee's is a young woman who is very helpful and polite but very quiet (for reasons that I won't go into). It was Saturday morning and a male customer aged about 40ish was trying to chat her up and wouldn't hand over any money until he'd had "some service with a smile" (I kid you not) to which she replied with a polite "that will be £ please". A stand off ensued with him staring her down until another customer tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to stop holding the queue up and he grudgingly paid up and left. All this is bad enough but on Monday morning the man's mother came in to the shop and loudly complained that her son had been disrespected on Saturday by some young bitch who didn't know how to treat a customer properly and that she was very upset that her own son had been treated so horrendously. She said all he'd wanted was to be shown respect due to him and to have a smile from the woman. Honestly this is absolutely true.

God, not hard to tell why he's such a spoilt brat at 40. I'm amazed, not so much that he acted like that, but that he (and Mama) thought that it was OK to do so in a queue at the shop, with various people looking on.

[DublinDoris2000]

Urgh. The worst random man comment was in a seaside bar when I was about 30. I remember being a bit tired and not particularly dressed up, shorts, top and wedges. I was on the edge of group of friends and this 60 YO man, drinking on his own looked me up and down and said, "what are you? 5ft9 and about 11 stone? You know you could really be something if you made more of an effort." I was so caught off guard, I think I just agreed walked off. But WT actual F? I was mad for days. Wish I'd come up with something smarter to say.

[Notmrsfitz]

I think maybe he was a bit socially inept and you’re possibly overthinking it .

[LouBan]

If he was trying to make conversation he wouldn't have walked off so quickly. Definitely a twat.

[ddl1]

YANBU; it's really rude of him! Was he a bit drunk? Making personal remarks to strangers is not on; and I don't think he'd have done it to a six-foot brawny man!

And how does he know that you weren't discussing something really sad like a funeral?

[Moonlightdust]

A female ‘Elf’ at Santa’s grotto told my daughter “You can smile you know” whilst queuing up today. We’ve had some terrible family news this week and a beloved pet on its death bed. Poor kid. Why are people so judgmental and rude.

[CheshireDing]

Kosmin that’s it ! That’s the line/similar I need to memorise for future dickheads

‘Excuse me (very loud) did anyone order a random man to come and harass them because he’s here at my table’ 🤣🤣

[Gbtch]

Why are you speaking to me, random man? Do you need my help?
If not fuck right off!