To think their name choice is ‘off’

[Isitweirdorisitjustme]

I feel pretty miffed about something and can’t work out whether I’m being unreasonable or not - please give it to me straight!

SIL (my brother’s wife) was pregnant at the same time as me. I was six weeks ahead with our third baby (already have two boys and knew I was expecting a girl this time around) She was pregnant with their second (they chose to find out sex at birth)

Let’s say we chose Molly. Six weeks later they announced the arrival of their daughter and her name was Polly. Apparently they realised it was similar to Molly but thought this was ‘cute.’

For context, I don’t live in the same country as my brother. COVID aside, we normally see each other a few times a year and we are a small family - he is my only sibling. His eldest child is also a boy so the two recent babies are the only girls (and it’s likely to stay that way, don’t think either of us will have any more)

Is it just me or is it fucking weird that in our small family, we now have two girls, just six weeks apart with incredibly similar names? I feel like they are already set up for a lifetime of comparison and this just makes it even worse.

My mum is already getting confused and mixing their names up. She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

Obviously I can never say anything to my brother but AIBU to be quietly quite pissed off about this? Polly has no significance for them beyond thinking it’s a nice name - I just can’t imagine me announcing Molly and them not thinking ‘oh shit that sounds like Polly, best think of something else’

[LittleMissMe99]

I'd be annoyed too OP. But it's irrational for sure. Still, it feels like they're taking the thunder away from your own daughter. I absolutely get it.

[PearlyShamps]

The matter of you Mum getting mixed up with the names - I find that Grandmas often mix up names of grandkids even if the names are not similar - and often not even the same sex.

Could your nose be a little out of joint that you've given birth to the first baby girl in the family, and your SIL has swiftly matched you? I don't mean that in a nasty way - I think many would feel a bit that way.

Enjoy your lovely daughter, and watching the Girls friendship grow over the years :0)

[MorganKitten]

@diddl

Nora/Cora possibility of them both being called Ra Ra??

You're having a bloody laugh!

This!

[SallyWebsterr]

I would stop the RaRa business, its awful.

[dudsville]

I think this is going to be a funny quirk of the family in a great, kind of eccentric way. You now just need to be the family who can pull it off by getting behind it!

[SequinsandStiIettos]

Especially if it's Nora Jane and Cora June

[Lahlahlah]

I can see your point OP, and think I'd secretly think it was a bit weird. However from an outsider point of view the rhyming names are pretty cute.

I have a cousin, born in the same month as me. We have very similar sounding names (although they don't rhyme). We grew up very close and everyone bought us the same presents/ same outfits as kids. To me it just felt normal...like we came as a pair. Our mums intentionally come up with the names together and they were pleased when we were both girls and they could use them !!

[whereislittleroo]

I'm surprised at how many people claim this wouldn't bother them. Yes it's technically a different name and yes no-one owns a name, but I wouldn't do it to someone and would be a bit miffed in your shoes. It's only one letter different and they're similar age. Of course people will mix up the name. Given it's done now though, of course I would try to get over it and focus on the positives. I certainly wouldn't risk falling out over it. However you're not unreasonable to think it's a bit weird.

[IslaInthesun]

I think now we know the names it's too similar. If I were you I'd be fucked off too

[SequinsandStiIettos]

A propos of nothing, there was a German film about twins called Hanni und Nanni.
I quite like matchy names though so bothers me less than say, Paula/Pauline, Alice/Alicia, Kate/Caitlin would or any known derivatives iyswim

[AnFiadhRua]

Im with you @isitweirdorisitjustme
I wouldnt have gone with a name that rhymed with the name of a relative's 6 week old baby!

[SonicStars]

It is a bit weird innit. I dunno if I would have changed my name choice if relatives had gone for something similar. If I liked it enough I may not have. Luckily I don't need to worry as it seems everyone of my generation has appealing taste in names apart from me ;-)

I know first cousins called Ada and Ava who spend a lot of time together. I would find that confusing. But no more confusing then have them in the same class at schooI guess.
It used to be common to name people after relatives so you would have multiple people with the exact same name in the same family and it wasn't an issue.

[SequinsandStiIettos]

My niece is called Nora.
What shall we call ours? Cora
I would take it as a compliment OP that SIL likes the ora sound. Assume you have different surnames? If the same if you kept yours, then even more flattering that she thinks ora sound goes nicely with the last name.
Gwan OP tell us how similar the middle names are
That might be the difference between twee/cutesy/trying to link the cousins in some way to complete lack of originality/ bat shit mental

[Viviennemary]

Its a different name. Can't see what the fuss is about.

[mogschristmascalamity]

My sister Pauline was born 2 weeks beore my cousin Pauline. The DMs are sisters. Apparently my aunt cried for a day when my sisters name was announced then decided no one owns a name and still used her first choice for her DD.

I also have a cousin Laura (my name) and there are multiples (Jacks, Eves etc) amongst the children of my cousins. Were are geographically not close but have meet ups on a regular basis. Never caused any confusion.

[whynotwhatknot]

Me and my cousin were born a week apart differnt names of course but she was so much bigger than me and my late gd still got our names mixed up

[LaBellaTrix]

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

They can obvious call their child what they want

It is a bit odd though as Molly and Polly are both old fashioned diminutives of Mary(albeit longer)

I can understand Molly, but Polly? How did that come about?

I work with the elderly and only recently discovered that Daisy is a diminutive of Margaret along with Gretchen, Rita, Megan and Peggy.

A friend has 4 daughters called Amy, Emily, Amelia and Emma which are all the same name. Very different characters though and never mistaken for one another

[tillytoodles1]

I'm from a large Irish family, although brought up in Liverpool. We're all named after grand parents, aunties and uncles, so we have multiple cousins with the same names.

[cansu]

They chose boys and girls names they liked during pregnancy and then used the name they wanted at birth. Why would they change their mind just because you had chosen a similar name??

All this about comparison is odd. Your mum will love both her grandchildren. Buying them similar gifts at this age is surely normal? She sees something cute and buys one for both girls. Normal.

[PeachyPeachTrees]

Yanbu. Nora and Cora and the whole cute thing makes me wince.
I don't think you need to worry about the comparisons due to name, this will happen anyway because they are both girls of the same age.

[Bellie710]

My SIL in England and my Brother in Scotland both have 2 kids and they have the same names, it is slightly confusing if we are talking about them we have to say Scotland or England cousins. Different names wouldn't be an issue for me I'm afraid.

[Difgkdjfjffjsjs]

Kindly - get a life.

[FootieMama]

I've called my son my nephew middle name that he is now using instead of first name. My sil called her son my husbands name. It doesn't matter. People when they are choosing a name for their baby they choose it because they love it. They won't be thinking too much about other people.

[Jewel52]

Don’t sweat the small stuff! And they might love it when they’re older - I kinda get why they thought it might be cute, especially as they don’t live nearby.

[stingofthebutterfly]

I get you. My sister named her daughter a rhyming version of my daughter's name, then gave her the same middle name. I thought it was utterly bizarre and, unlike you, we see each other regularly. Years later, I still think it's weird but it's now not something that crosses my mind on a regular basis.