AIBU to make him pay?
cmac76 · 27/11/2021 08:45
I just want to gauge if I am being too mean or not. DS (10) has form for losing things….items of clothing mainly. It was really bad when he was younger. He would regularly come home from school without jumpers, socks, coat, water bottle…whole uniform once and shoes another time (after school clubs). We sometimes found items, sometimes not. I resorted to writing in a sharpie pen inside his bag all the things he needed to come home with. But he would forget to check that 🙄
He’s better now but can still lose things from time to time. I won’t let him wear his ‘nice’ things out when I’m not with him though as a result.
So now he’s lost his warm hat and gloves (plays a lot of football etc) and I’m so fed up.
Do I make him pay to replace a set or just half? He does get very upset about losing stuff (I do get cross) so I feel mean but it’s so annoying! He needs to look after his things!!
He is NT by the way, no issues that we are aware of.
Would you make your child pay at this age?
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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Longdistance · 27/11/2021 09:21
Yes, he should it’s for it out of his own money. My youngest is the same age and she loses stuff, it does inevitably turn up. We’ve recently bought winter stuff and doubled up on stuff just in case dd leaves it at school. So far, she’s ‘misplaced’ a glove. She can freeze if she loses the next pair.
JetRocket · 27/11/2021 09:19
Honestly at 10 and with a substantial history of losing Items I probably would make him pay to replace it this time and tell him that he’ll have to contribute 50% to his losses from now on. It will be a massive incentive to start looking after his stuff.
Don’t confuse distress over having lost the item with distress over you being cross with him! Whilst 10 is still young it’s not far off secondary school and asking for expensive tech items he needs to learn to look after his stuff!
cmac76 · 27/11/2021 08:58
Yes he has the funds to replace…a decent amount of pocket money saved
Wannakisstheteacher · 27/11/2021 08:56
I do. Incredible how fast they stop losing things when the replacements come out of their pocket money/birthday money.
SorryPardonWhat · 27/11/2021 08:53
Depends what pocket money he gets. Is he able at 10 to pay for replacements?
I would buy the first replacement, go halves on the next and have him pay for the third. And tell him the plan. Assuming he has a little income of course!
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