To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do

[0verth1inker]

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

[ClaudiaJ1]

@tallduckandhandsome OP said she had to get McDs on the way back to settle the 4 year old.

[ClaudiaJ1]

@Lalliella

You should ask for this thread to be deleted OP, it’s pretty identifiable. Plus they have come good with your money, so it would be a shame to jeopardise your friendship over this.

@Lalliella So what?! I would hope the CF couple DO see the thread and are mortified and learn a lesson!!!

[tallduckandhandsome]

@ClaudiaJ1

I bet they didn't pay for the McDs either, did they? Did they offer to go for a bite to eat or even a coffee before you all got back in your respective cars, *@0verth1inker* ?

What McD’s? Have I missed a post?

[Eleganz]

Well at least you got your money back in the end.

Just to warn you, I know a couple who are exactly like this since having kids. Youngest is now 3 and they are still exactly the same, completely incapable of turning up anywhere remotely on time! It has been a running joke for the rest of us.

[ClaudiaJ1]

@BoredZelda

I didn't think op was against people being precious about their first baby. We all were. But this kind of parent projects their selfishness Onto all their kids no matter what age which was why I was suggesting don't get your children together with theirs as friends. Fruit doesn't fall far from tree. It's a real type and nothing to do with food or sleep routines. Just totally bloody selfish.

In which case YABU also.

People can choose to parent as they wish without being called flakey and selfish because of it.

@BoredZeldaThen those type of parents must face the fact they are irresponsible and selfish, and deal with the consequences of being irresponsible, selfish and flakey, because that IS exactly what they are!

OP was far too nice in her description, as most of the replies in this thread show! Nothing in OP's descriptions is remotely sneery, in fact, on the contrary.

[ClaudiaJ1]

I bet they didn't pay for the McDs either, did they? Did they offer to go for a bite to eat or even a coffee before you all got back in your respective cars, @0verth1inker ?

[ClaudiaJ1]

@BettyJDavies

YABU these things happen, if they are such good friends you wouldn't even worry about the money it's £62 not £62,000.

@CountToTen @BettyJDavies Are you the couple in the OP? These things absolutely DO NOT 'just happen', making someone drive for 2.5 hours with a 4 year old child who wanted to go in badly and with fuck all to show for it when they could have told the OP to "go in ahead of us and we'll catch you up" and send the tickets. You're clearly rich as well as lacking decency because £62 is a LOT of money to many people. Give your head a wobble.

[ClaudiaJ1]

@HyacynthBucket

Starray and Bumpsadaisie
Me too. Its hard to believe that people can be so self absorbed and inconsiderate to even think that "Its just one of those things" when it is their fault.
DP and I booked a stay in my cousin's
holiday home abroad that he let to family and friends. We arrived after a four flight and taxi journey to the address, but could not get in. Eventually a man came to the door - he had been staying for a week with his wife, and they should have gone home earlier in the day.
But they missed their flight and came back to the house, although it was booked for us by then. He refused to leave and wouldn't let us in, and said "Its just one of those things". It was just so unbelievable that he thought he could stay on in the house because they had got to the airport too late. We lost a day of our holiday and a night's sleep because of it.

You are very far from BU, OP. I hope this all works out for you and your DC and you enjoy the lights soon.

@HyacynthBucket Why didn't you phone/text your cousin and ask him to get them out?

[timeisnotaline]

I feed on demand. I still manage to travel internationally with young babies, and not because the planes just waited. You do it by planning your time.

[ClaudiaJ1]

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule

‘Perfect First Born’

It means Precious First Born.

[ClaudiaJ1]

@MichelleScarn

Wonder if they were wanting you to go with them so you could be an unofficial photographer for them?.. (speaking from experience!)

The friends had their own mobile phones.

[ClaudiaJ1]

@tallduckandhandsome

It sounds like they didn’t want you and your kids to enjoy the lights without them, almost as if they thought if their baby misses out, then so should your children. It’s not a very charitable assumption but the only one that comes to mind.

Glad you got your money, but that terse text from them says it all, they didn’t think they did anything wrong because in their eyes all kids missed out so it’s even stevens.

It sounds like they didn’t want you and your kids to enjoy the lights without them, almost as if they thought if their baby misses out, then so should your children. It’s not a very charitable assumption but the only one that comes to mind.

Your assumption is right on though. Otherwise they would have sent the OP tickets when she asked for them. The truth is they simply didn't want OP going in without them.

[SunLovingMummy]

Well done op. Hope your DC enjoy the show. You’re very right to keep your distance for a while or at least not book group activity. Take this as a learning event, get your own tickets or have whomever books for you give them to you upon booking.

[ClaudiaJ1]

They are very selfish to not have given you the tickets. Any other friends would say "here's the tickets in case we are late". You should have had the tickets anyway, they should have given them to you as soon as they bought them. So you and your DC missed a show because of their self-centredness. I wouldn't go anywhere with them again, even when they are past the breastfeeding/pfb bit. Unless they send you your tickets as soon as they get them, which by rights they should have done originally.

[Furries]

@PrincessNutella

Definitely ask for the money!

Please tell me you’re joking - she got the money back hours ago!

[Furries]

@AwaAnBileYerHeid - “What on earth? I'd have actually dragged the wife out by her hair.”

Are you actually serious about this comment? I mean, I know the situation wasn’t great - but maybe stern words with the husband opening the door would be a slightly better option than physical violence against his wife!

[PrincessNutella]

Definitely ask for the money!

[Insert1x20p]

It sounds like they didn’t want you and your kids to enjoy the lights without them, almost as if they thought if their baby misses out, then so should your children

My take was slightly different- I think they (wrongly) assumed that if you all turned up for the 5:15 session you'd be allowed in. They also (probably rightly) knew that wandering around on their own with an 8 month old baby who DGAF about lights would be not very festive compared to going with friends with DC of an age to get excited about them.

This doesn't excuse their behaviour , because it was still them making it all about them, but I think it does explain why they didn't want to hand over the tickets.

[tallduckandhandsome]

It sounds like they didn’t want you and your kids to enjoy the lights without them, almost as if they thought if their baby misses out, then so should your children. It’s not a very charitable assumption but the only one that comes to mind.

Glad you got your money, but that terse text from them says it all, they didn’t think they did anything wrong because in their eyes all kids missed out so it’s even stevens.

[cazzy71]

They are not good friends to you. Good friends would send the tickets. Good friends would arrive on time and be sorry they let you down.

Babies can travel when asleep and at 8 months wait a while for feed.
There baby is NOT more important than your children.

[Nixster87]

Just bin them off they obviously don’t care about your children and the fact you’re out of pocket. I doubt you’ll get the money back they seem very flakey people that think the world revolves around them. An entrance time is an entrance time and they prevented you entering by withholding your tickets. Ask again for the money back so you can book to take your children. If they still refuse just leave them to their own pathetic ways. I’ve no time for flaky people it winds me up no end!

[puddlesofmothers]

@MichelleScarn

They can rebook and pay for all, if they had any decency you wouldn't need to ask.

This.

[Pandagirl71]

I had a friend who was always at least 45 minutes late every time we arranged to do stuff. It was so irritating I stopped arranging to meet as it was making me angry and eventually I stopped seeing her. Glad the money was returned.

[Lalliella]

You should ask for this thread to be deleted OP, it’s pretty identifiable. Plus they have come good with your money, so it would be a shame to jeopardise your friendship over this.

[Isbdm]

I call this "King Baby"

King baby trumps everything and everybody

Intolerable