To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do

[0verth1inker]

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

[eastegg]

And anyway, there’s absolutely no need to be talking about how the friend could have fed baby in the car, because she could have solved the whole situation by sending the flipping e-tickets.

[UnderBlanket]

@LoisLane66

No reason why she couldn't BF in the car. It's not as if they'd be driving over rutted dirt tracks...a bumpy ride.
She could have sat comfortably in the back, fed burped and changed baby while husband drove.
I've done it many times on long trips, without incident.
Glad to read that you asked again and she sent the money. You deserve better friends but I bet she won't do that again.
Enjoy your trip.

I'm sorry, what?? That is fucking madness, incredibly dangerous and illegal.

[eastegg]

@LoisLane66

No reason why she couldn't BF in the car. It's not as if they'd be driving over rutted dirt tracks...a bumpy ride.
She could have sat comfortably in the back, fed burped and changed baby while husband drove.
I've done it many times on long trips, without incident.
Glad to read that you asked again and she sent the money. You deserve better friends but I bet she won't do that again.
Enjoy your trip.

Not sure where you are, but here in the UK the child would have to be strapped into a car seat. It’s the law. And it’s the law because it helps to save lives.

Glad to hear you did it ‘without incident’ because if there had been an ‘incident’ it could have horrific.

We were always looking for ways to cut shorter our 6 hour car journey to see my folks when ours were babies (still are) but Jesus we didn’t do this.

[LoisLane66]

No reason why she couldn't BF in the car. It's not as if they'd be driving over rutted dirt tracks...a bumpy ride.
She could have sat comfortably in the back, fed burped and changed baby while husband drove.
I've done it many times on long trips, without incident.
Glad to read that you asked again and she sent the money. You deserve better friends but I bet she won't do that again.
Enjoy your trip.

[thamesriviera]

@Battytwatty

READ
THE
THREAD
THEY
GOT
THE
MONEY
BACK
FFS!!

Say what??

[LoisLane66]

I've been on several themed light walks in recent years and they ALL mention time slots on the booking form AND in the confirmation email.
FRIENDS don't leave you wondering why they're late so you have to ring.
Friends don't withhold tickets which have the time slot stated on them.
Friends don't dismiss £62 as 'one of those things'. That's £31 each (most don't charge for under 5s) and a considerable amount to dismiss.
It's entirely their fault. They knew it was timed. They knew you'd miss out but thought they'd wing it and be allowed in. It doesn't happen.
If they are the kind of 'friends' you don't mind having in your life then tell them it doesn't matter and smile while you lie.
I personally know for a fact that none of my friends would behave like that.
Tell them that you, your OH and the children were disappointed to have wasted an evening and a fair amount of money when they refused to send you the tickets and you hope she rethinks giving you your money back.
Tell her that the friendship rests on her doing the right thing and you, regretfully, aren't prepared to settle for her dismissing it as 'One of those things'. Real friends don't do that. She needs to apologise and pay up. If she gets uppity and refuses to be friends because of something that was her fault entirely, then you are better off without flakes in your life.

[Nowomenaroundeh]

I would be furious too.

They messaged when they were already five minutes late, why couldn't they have let you know earlier that they were behind schedule? You had your own children to entertain.
They refused to send you the tickets.
They lied when they said they were only ten minutes away.
They ruined your day and upset your children.
They didn't have the manners to apologise for any of that, simply described it as 'one of those things". No it was their fault completely.
You had to ask them for the money. They should have been thrusting it at you while apologising and trying to salvage the day out somehow.

And the pp who said they will retell this story so you are the bad guys is right.

I would be avoiding till they get their heads out of their asses.

[Plumbuddle]

@tallduckandhandsome

Funny how they always have time to come to the thread to see who’s responded to their posts though 🙄

that's because mumsnet sends you an email to say you have been namechecked.

[tallduckandhandsome]

Funny how they always have time to come to the thread to see who’s responded to their posts though 🙄

[SingleMamaGY]

Your post made me twitch with rage. What another poster said. “Hiya, please transfer over £62 Ive just found a min to rebook in for the winter walk through. You guys are welcome to come obviously blah blah blah but give me my money back

[ShabsLovesTiff]

Okay didn’t know that thank you

[MizzFizz]

They clearly don't understand (or care) how upsetting and disappointing this must have been for your little ones! Far beyond the £62.... I would be saying that to them... We need to make this up to the kids, they were really upset, so if you could please send us the money back so we can rebook. I would definitely question the friendship if they can't even admit and make right what they did ...

[ClaudiaJ1]

@ShabsLovesTiff

Sorry for not reading every single last comment on the thread it’s cos we have more important things to do not as much time as you to scrutinise everyone commenting late

@ShabsLovesTiff you don't need to read the whole thread of replies, but it is expected that you read all the OP's posts. You can do that by clicking The See All link directly under the first post: OP’s posts: See next | See all

The OP only has posted 10 times so it doesn't take long at all to read their updates.

[ShabsLovesTiff]

Sorry for not reading every single last comment on the thread it’s cos we have more important things to do not as much time as you to scrutinise everyone commenting late

[dayswithaY]

This reminds me of the classic "Cancel the cheque" if anyone remembers that.

[Chopbob]

Arrrgghhhh. This kind of thing makes me so mad!
It reminds me of a friend of mine who is absolutely obsessed with her PFB. She ALWAYS turns up late, always sends you to order the food or pay the bill in cafes because she has a baby with her (nevermind the fact I had 2 under 2 with me).
She left me waiting for her for a pre-booked event for 4 hours with a 6 weeks old baby. No real explanation just some shit about struggling to get out of bed. No apology. In fact she was quite annoyed when she called me to say she had arrived and I was in the car on my way home.
It boils my piss even thinking about it!
We never had a fall out but I have eventually distanced myself from her and all that crap.

[Mary46]

I wouldnt do anything socially with them going forward

[percythewitch]

No time for people like that.

No time to bother to read the thread either.

[KarenTheGammonRemoaner]

[quote Offmyfence]@KarenTheGammonRemoaner the money was given back a few days ago! [/quote]
Then I'd leave it. It was divvy thing to do but what's the harm now? But if they do anything like it again I'd stop speaking to them to be fair. No time for people like that.

[Offmyfence]

@KarenTheGammonRemoaner the money was given back a few days ago!

[percythewitch]

Have they at least offered to give you the money back?

Sigh. If only there were a way to find that out......

oh, wait........ READ THE THREAD.

[KarenTheGammonRemoaner]

@Iamthemaid

I think you may end not being friends if you pursue this, although you are totally in the right!!

This! It's probably best to let it go. Is that even possible though? Not sure. I'd be absolutely fuming. Have they at least offered to give you the money back? If not then I'd probably fume at them as that would be going too far.

If they offered the money back (not even saying take it) but if they offered it with an apology and admission if idiocy I'd forgive.

[CrazyTimesAreOccurring]

@Redrosesandsunsets

Ask friends for money back and then make a note to self, don’t organize anything with them again. Move on.

All Hail @Redrosesandsunsets with such wise advice!! Days after it has been sorted !!! Oh the relief of your post with telling OP this, after 18 pages of hand ringing from everyone and not knowing what to do

[notacooldad]

If you’re running late you can breastfeed in the car - unless DP doesn’t drive?
I thought babies ( and everyone else) had to be secured while the vehicle was in transit.
How can can you feed a baby if it is its car seat?

[RampantIvy]

If you’re running late you can breastfeed in the car

No you can't.