Would you raise this with nursery?

crayray · 2021-11-20 00:36:45

Not sure whether IABU. DS is recently toilet trained and we still haven't got to grips with going when we're out and about and there's no toilet. If we've been in parks I've encouraged him to wee in the bushes but he'll only really do it if one of his friends is there and doing it at the same time. However until today we've had no accidents in this scenario. I picked him up from nursery a couple of days ago, and the person who did handover said 'just to let you know mum, we were in the garden today and he pulled his trousers and pants down and weed in the bush'. The obvious subtext was 'this is not allowed'. I do understand that they would prefer to avoid this, but I was privately pleased that he'd done that rather than wet himself. However, DH and I tried to explain to him that when he's at nursery he should tell someone he needs to use the toilet. Today I took him to a park, and he needed the loo. I tried to encourage him to wee in a bush but he wouldn't and kept running back down the path, looking for somewhere else to go. I tried to stop him and get him to go in the bush but he wouldn't, and got more and more distressed until he stopped and weed in his pants. I just worry that he's got mixed messages now and I'm not sure whether to raise it with nursery along the lines of 'what was said to him when he did this/I'm not sure it was particularly helpful to treat this as a wrongdoing in the context of ongoing toilet training/can we agree a consistent message for him going forwards' or whether actually this is entirely on us as parents. Obviously if he'd done it indoors there would be no ambiguity, but isn't it fairly normal for little boys to have a wee in a bush?

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Hi all, and thanks to those who posted offering help and support so far. The OP has some privacy concerns around this thread and so we have agreed to take it down.

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