@Branleuse
I dont think its bullying as its not a sustained harrassment of one person, but I do think toxic pile-ons are frequent and unkind. people digging for more information they can use against the OP.
You could see it as peoples arse getting handed to them, but I think it crosses into trolling far too much.
I say that, but I dont want the site to be overly moderated either. The report function is really good and mumsnet are quick to check and delete things that cross the line, and people do keep coming back for more, so.......
I know though, after several years here, that there are things that I just could not post for advice on, that I wish I could, because I couldnt handle my life picked apart or the character assasination that could potentially ensue.
I am not sure its any different on any other large message boards either though. Ive been on a few over the years, and the ones that are too nice and supportive get boring too, so part of what I dislike about mumsnet is also what keeps people coming back
Snap. My DH drinks too much. He is absolutely
not an alcoholic and it doesn't affect our family life, nor does he become unpleasant in any way when he's drunk. It really, really irritates me though. Sometimes I want to post about it on here, but I just know that I'll get: how can you be sure he won't still be over the limit, he's probably drinking much more than he's letting on, what if something happens to the kids overnight, my father was an alcoholic and it was awful, he will only get worse, do you want this as a role model for your children, posters always say their useless partner is a great dad but he's not, have some respect, get out while the kids are small, and then asking me why I put up with any number of scenarios that they imagine happen, but I've given no suggestion that they do. He also cheated on me once, very early on in the relationship. I forgave him and truly believe he will never do it again unless our marriage is on the rocks already (he knows it would be the end of our relationship). You know how that would be received on here... Other things I don't post about include anything related to my weight (I asked for advice on running when overweight once and got really nasty replies from one poster about how I was twice the weight I should be and no wonder my knees hurt. Erm, yeah, why do you think I want to take up running?
, anything about teaching and workload, anything about our finances (2 kids and a mortgage but no savings).
I find it quite liberating to just not post about certain things. There is no reason why you would need to seek other people's opinions or validation on sensitive issues in your life, it's entirely optional. I've also come to realise that a lot of things that are standard on here lead to massive eye rolls irl.... I wish I had come to all these conclusions sooner though, as I often can't help thinking about the MN reaction or the MN view of certain situations.