I feel really pathetic and childish saying this and was probably BVU.
He has this good friend that he's known for several years now, and I've been with him a year.
Earlier in our relationship he came to stay with me for 6 days, and I remember feeling insecure as he wanted us to meet up with her for 5 days out of those 6, he kept saying, shall we see what Emma's doing tomorrow?
He has other friends there, also felt hurt that he didn't want to just spend time alone with me. I would never at all not encourage him to see his friends, it was just that when we did see her we literally saw them from 2pm-1am and It felt too full on seeing somebody I didn't know nearly every day. I ended up telling him how i felt and he understood and said we'd just do our own thing the next day.
I wasn't there but one night after a night at a restaurant I think her colleague misread the signs, tried to come onto her and groped her bottom which was really out of order and wrong of him. I remember my bf being furious at the time, he was a really good support, on the phone with her about it, then there was talk of calling the police, getting him fired etc. And I remember thinking it's great he's so supportive.
A few weeks later it came up in topic again and I mentioned how it had happened to me a few times too when I was younger. I guess this was before the metoo movement etc. So it wasn't taken as seriously, but he was just kinda like, ah dear that's not bad, then moved on.
Then a couple of things happened in which i was assaulted by somebody with ASD, he asked if I was alright but then nothing else really and he made some jokes about it too. There was another distressing incident a couple of weeks later and again asked if I was ok etc. But nothing more.
It sounds really pathetic but I didn't feel that supported by him. It's not at all some competition of who has it worse, it's imperative that his friend got support but I felt like he supported her much more than he ever did me.
I think a month or so ago she said to him she was too busy to meet up then more recently she was out with some others. It's not very nice I agree, and i can tell this hurts him as he has consoled himself by saying well anyway she can be quite annoying and difficult etc. Even though he's never said that before, and saying he'd rather see X friend anyway.
I feel really childish and awful for this.
AIBU?
Felt that bf supported female friend more than me
Bluevioletindigo · 27/04/2021 05:53
Am I being unreasonable?
228 votes. Final results.
POLL[quote TheLastLotus]@TheNinny I agree. The ‘cool wives’ on here may not care but a ‘best friend’ should be someone my guy can talk to about me - I wouldn’t want him telling another woman. He can have female friends sure but not a soulmate BFF bonding type thing. I must be number one girl.
OP - I think he’s only in a relationship with you to disguise his crush on her. Because she has a BF already. Dump and run gurl! 
[/quote]
Yeah 100%
I dont mind my partner having female friends, but a female BFF is not something id put up with. Far too close to an emotional affair, and 95% of th e time its a one sided unreciprocated crush.
I used to be much more open minded about this sort of thing when i was younger, but repeated experience has brought me to this conclusion, and not just from the girlfriend perspective but from the female friend perspective too
@TheNinny I agree. The ‘cool wives’ on here may not care but a ‘best friend’ should be someone my guy can talk to about me - I wouldn’t want him telling another woman. He can have female friends sure but not a soulmate BFF bonding type thing. I must be number one girl.
OP - I think he’s only in a relationship with you to disguise his crush on her. Because she has a BF already. Dump and run gurl!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.