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AIBU?

Aibu to not want my old bully doing well

28 replies

Itsmeagainandagain · 13/04/2021 23:32

Came across an article in the local paperand it features an old bully who made life miserable doing well for himself. I actually wanted to scream in frustration. This man as a boy was at least 5 years older than me, would shout abuse at me, throw stones at me, call me names, I was a bloody 10 year old girl, I used to be scared to go outside and play, hiding behind hedges when I saw him in case I was called names or hit with stones.
Makes me uncomfortable seeing his ugly mug in the paper, after all these years. I'm already down today but this has made me feel worse.
Aibu about how I'm feeling?

OP posts:

Report

Sittingonabench · 14/04/2021 08:59

I know people can change, grow up, understand better etc. But when it comes to the teenage bullies who made life hell day in day out, am I the only person who doesn’t care whether they’re a nice person now or not? I feel like I earned my rage and disgust with them by putting up with their abusive behaviour. I have to admit I don’t think on it often but when it comes up I remember they knew exactly what they were doing and enjoyed inflicting pain on others. It really must be irritating to see them do well although I wouldn’t believe everything in the paper

Mum497 · 14/04/2021 08:24

It might look on the outside that he's doing well but the fact he treated you like that makes me think he is probably or was previously probably a very unhappy person.

Mrshyat · 14/04/2021 08:17

On of my bullies was the in paper doing charity work. I found it hard not to be annoyed as I'm pretty sure he is the same person. I found out a few years later that he left his family, was cruel to his wife who ended up very depressed and is now living in a shared flat with students. I don't think he is really fooling anyone.

Another bully I do hope had a nicer life. He tortured me and my best friend, literally throwing things with all his strength across the classroom at us. It was horrible and I didn't feel safe. Later on I found out his mother suffered horrible domestic abuse. I hope he is a better person. I blame the teacher more who did absolutely nothing.

Sportysporty · 14/04/2021 08:14

There are cards full of cock shaped confetti you can send anonymously for a £5 - I confess to haveing sent quite a few 😁

SeaTurtles92 · 14/04/2021 08:06

YANBU. Karma is a bitch.

redcarbluecar · 14/04/2021 08:04

YANBU but try to ignore and move on.

JustGiveMeGin · 14/04/2021 08:02

I said 'my point is' twice
You get my gist hopefully

JustGiveMeGin · 14/04/2021 08:01

One of my bullies went on to bea stripper in Blackpool, that made me chuckle 😆 Some did well, my point is that now I rarely think about them other than say a thread on here reminds me about it.
My point is, I am a different person now to the one that left school over 20 years ago and I imagine that the people that bullied me will be too.

malificent7 · 14/04/2021 06:32

They're*

malificent7 · 14/04/2021 06:31

Bullies often do outwardly well but inside their dead...it's all a facade.

Iamthewombat · 14/04/2021 01:38

Maybe he is a better person now. It happens. One of the hard case boys from the estate where I grew up completely changed. Stopped me in the street when I was 22, apologised for having been an arse when he was younger, told me he had gone back to college to do Alevels and wanted to train as a PE teacher.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2021 01:31

I'm sorry it happened

I found a bloke who tried to sexually assault me as a 15 year old on Linkdin. Doing very well for himself. But maybe his wife hates him, or his children. Maybe he's got massive painful itchy piles. Maybe he lies awake at night with anxiety.

Who knows?

YouWereGr8InLittleMenstruators · 14/04/2021 01:19

The boy who bullied, beat and sexually intimidated me relentlessly through primary school and secondary school pursued a career in violent crime and was brutally murdered on the other side of the world 20 years later.

When I found out, I struggled a lot with how to feel about it, so it could be said that the opposite of your title is also true.
I am so sorry you were bullied, and that you know how hard it is to get closure

WorraLiberty · 14/04/2021 01:14

@caramellia

Just wait! He may look good now but he will get what he deserves somehow.

Maybe he's already got what he deserves? A look at his mother through adult eyes? A much better influence in his life than he had as a 15 year old boy perhaps?

caramellia · 14/04/2021 01:09

Just wait! He may look good now but he will get what he deserves somehow.

SunscreenCentral · 14/04/2021 01:05

Actually, @WorraLiberty speaks the truth. I said something harsher and asked for it to be retracted. It’s better to give the benefit, the generosity of spirit.

SunscreenCentral · 14/04/2021 01:00

Never mind him, op. He was a dick then, and he’s probably a dick now.
Just mind your own self & your loved ones.

WorraLiberty · 14/04/2021 00:59

@Itsmeagainandagain

If I remember correctly his mother was an arsehole as well, actually used to stand at the corner of her home and watch young girls get terrorised off her son. and apples don't fall far from tress so I don't think he would have changed.

Try thinking about it this way perhaps...

If you had an arsehole mother who raised you to think bullying was acceptable, you could have been the female version of him.

He was 15 and raised by a completely inadequate parent. Hopefully now he's an adult, he's learned not to be like her and just might deserve every success that comes his way.

I'm 52 and some of the arsehole bullies who went to my school have turned out to be very decent people, despite their awful upbringing.

OliverBabish · 14/04/2021 00:52

I can appreciate how you feel OP - and I’m sorry he was such a twat to you.

People like that are rarely ever truly happy. That kind of behaviour comes from the perpetrators own negative thoughts and feelings. Things may look great for him on the outside (and in the paper) but you never know someone’s reality.

I don’t believe in karma, I just believe that if you are a shit then eventually someone who is a bigger shit is going to come along and fuck you up

Itsmeagainandagain · 14/04/2021 00:46

If I remember correctly his mother was an arsehole as well, actually used to stand at the corner of her home and watch young girls get terrorised off her son. and apples don't fall far from tress so I don't think he would have changed.

OP posts:

DontBeRidiculous · 14/04/2021 00:44

I wouldn't contact him. He might not be any nicer than he ever was, and I wouldn't want him to know I still thought about him.

YANBU to be unhappy, but the best thing to do is to vent a bit (here or to someone you trust irl), then find something pleasant or amusing to distract yourself with. Clear your mind of him.

saffire · 14/04/2021 00:03

@Keepitonthedownlow

Could you email or Facebook message him and tell him how bad his behaviour was? Do you think he would be contrite?

There is really no point. Arseholes like that couldn't give a shit about what they did or how they treated others. By messaging and possibly getting a horrible response it just makes you feel worse.

IdblowJonSnow · 13/04/2021 23:58

Yanbu.
However the best revenge is to move on. Easier said than done, I know.

Rosewood017 · 13/04/2021 23:56

It's hard to see good things happen to terrible people.

Let's hope he took a long hard look at himself and turned his life around.

Keepitonthedownlow · 13/04/2021 23:53

Could you email or Facebook message him and tell him how bad his behaviour was? Do you think he would be contrite?

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